Falling Freely

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Fantasy  |  House: Booksie Classic
a poem about the biggest f***ing mistake of my life

Submitted: September 24, 2011

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Submitted: September 24, 2011

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The sun hurts my eyes

But I'm still aunree enough to fight my aching eyes

And search for you

 

She tells me I'm wasting my time

So do the others

Do I listen?

No

 

And then there you are

And your gorgeous

To die for

Or at least thats what I thought

 

I can't believe I would have actually died for you

 

I'm Alive

 

We've been going out for almost five months

It's been like heaven

Rumors start to spread

They're about you

Do I care

No

 

But then people ask me if I'm blind

Because the facts are right in front of me

So obvious

I must be insane

That's what they say

 

I'm Alive

 

Now we're having trouble

Not you

Not me

But my friends

And I

 

I've told them we're getting an apartment

They're livid

Mixing venom in their words

When they talk about you

Right in front of me

I scream

Scream at them

Why don't they see

How much you mean to me?

 

She

(no, please, not her)

She comes to me

And tells me that they're right

Even those we don't know

Those we haven't met

Those we don't like

 

She says

That those rumors are true

And I need to stop

Resisting

 

For the next three weeks

I try to forget them

These people

Who have loved me

For what seems like a million

Lifetimes

 

I'm Alive

 

We're gone

You and I

We've left to a place

That we hope they won't find us

And you're strangely triumphant

Even though you know

That leaving them

Has left some scras

On my sensitive skin

Like it's left holes

In my soul

 

It doesn't look like you care

For a split second, I wonder

I worry

I, deep inside, know

That I've made a mistake

What scares me the most, though

Is that I don't know

How big thise mistake is

 

I'm Alive

 

I cannot believe what's happening

You're beating me

Without any apology

I'm your doll

Your robot

Your slave

 

You're drunk all the time

You're never around

Always out with your friends

And your "lady" friends

I ask to meet them

You yell

You tell me that I'm accusing you of something

 

I try to compromise

I try to tell you gently

That this isn't working out

The way we wanted it to

I guess

Deep inside

That I'm trying to tell you

I want to leave

 

You don't talk to me

For a full week and a half

You come home

You go out

You pretend I'm not waiting for you

By the door

Everynight

After you've become drunk off your senses

When you assume I'm there

Because I'm spying on you

You beat me again

 

I'm Alive

 

I try a new approach to leave you

Late at night

When you're out or fast asleep

Awaiting you next hangover

I sneak to the kichten

And call them

 

At first, they're cold

Asking why I've finally decided

To call them

I do not act like the actresses in movies

I tell them

Straight out

I'm already beyond scared stiff

They tell me they're coming

They tell me they love me

 

For the next few days, I pack

Hiding my bads and carry on's in the closet

So you don't get any ideas

I've realized that

Even for a drunkie

You're very observant

You never go in there

I'm grateful

I keep my mouth such like a good girlfriend

I agree with you on everything

Even if I think it's sick

So you don't get mad

I've succeeded

In staying alive

Until I'm free

 

I'm Alive...

 

I'm out of the apartment

For the first time

Since we've been here

I love the fresh air

That doesn't smell like you

 

Suddenly, my gut twists

I feel like I might be sick

Something's wrong

I run home

Faster and faster

 

I'm not running

No

I'm flying

Thank god

Because I need to get there

Before something bad happens

For whatever reason this time

 

This time, though

It's different

A different feel

It's more serious

Than just your everyday

Angry outburst

 

I'm dying...

 

When I arrive, I'm in denial

I'm not really seeing what I'm seeing

You're not here

But the apartment is not empty

They're here

 

One is missing

I ask who

After an avalanche of love and hugs

Even thought I'm not

A love n' hugs type of girl

 

They tell me everything

They say you got pissed

When they knocked on your door

And tried to run

When they saw I was gone

You beat them

And took her

We know where you're going

We run

 

She's alive!

 

We've found you

You put up a fight

She falls

But she's not really falling

She's feels betrayed

When I "believe" you

When you say it was her

Who was trying to seduce you

We go home

I draw you a bath

You get into the tub

I walk into the room

And turn of the lights

I tell you

Without seeing your face

That you're an utter asshole

And that you don't deserve me

You're in rage

You get out

You slip

And fall on the mirror you broke

I don't religh the though of human suffering

Even you

I call an abulance

And the police

 

You'll heal your bleeding wounds

And in jail

You'll regret everything bad you've ever done to me'

And them

And those I don't hear about

Don't know

Don't like...

 

I'm alive

They're alive

We're alive

And we will be

Far after death...

 

 

 

I'm sorry the text it so small, but it's a long poem, and it would look weird :) but thank you for reading, and I hope that, if you've made the same mistake as me, this will give so insight on the consequences, and I hope it helps you find you own path to being free


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