Pensacola 32502: Edith Clarice Gets a Job at Winn-Dixie

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
Pensacola 32502 is the zip code for the county seat of Escambia County, Florida, and the Pensacola City Hall. The title of most of the short stories I write about characters in this area will begin with this. This story celebrates Edith Clarice's first day on the job at the local Winn-Dixie.

Submitted: January 31, 2015

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Submitted: January 31, 2015

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“Ah-ooohkay.”  Edith Clarice is confused and looks it. 

This is her first day at Winn-Dixie.  The ubiquitous southern grocery store chain,

Her confusion is understandable.

There is a special on almost all brands of soda. 

We’re anticipating guests over the weekend, so I’m stocking up.  I have placed twelve different twelve packs of soda on the conveyor belt.  Plus a watermelon, cantaloupe, milk, eggs and bread.  I know who wears the pants in my family and when she tells me to get 4 twelve packs of mixed sodas, I do it.

Edith Clarice may be a little on the plush side, but she looks like she has a healthy life style.  So, it is understandable that she isn’t familiar with all of the soda brands.

“Do yew know which is which?”

“Huh?”

 “Which brands have to be rung up together?  Which are Coke and which are Pepsi and which are the others?”

“They usually ring them up and let the computer sort them out.”

Edith Clarice has big blond innocent eyes.  “Huh?”

I gaze into their yawning abyss.

 “They usually scan the bar codes on the boxes and let the computer sort things out.”

“No, I’m shure I have to rang them in groups.  Yew have produce in here, too.  Those items are different.”

I raise my eyebrows and lower my eyelids, "Aha," but did not otherwise respond to this assertion.

She turns and looks to an equally young woman hovering nearby trying to look involved in something else, “Naaaaadeeen?”  Her voice is shrill.

Nadine perks up, “Yay-yes?”

“I need yew-er hay-yalp,” she holds her hands out from her sides as in surrender, “again!  I juhst don’t know what I would do without yew!” 

She smiles grandly and tilts her head to the side.

Here comes Nadine.Big smile.  Arms pumping.

They begin a detailed discussion as to what soda brands are made by which company.

“Way-yell,” Nadine, rests an elbow in one palm and her chin on a knuckle, “Coca Cola, yew due nooo that it is Coca Cola and not Coke, right?”

Edith Clarice nods her head enthusiastically.

“Way-yell, Coca Cola may-yakes Coca Cola a-yand Dr. Pepper…”

The box boy interrupts, “Dr. Pepper is made by Dr. Pepper Group in Dallas, not Coca Cola.  Coca Cola’s headquarters is in Atlanta.”

“Oookaay, Coca Cola a-yand 7Up…”

“7Up is owned by Dr. Pepper Group, too.”

“Oookaay.”  Nadine takes a deep breath, hands on hips, “May I proceed?”

Box boy isn’t reading the body language, “Actually it is Dr. Pepper Snapple Group.”

“Snapple is tea.”  Box boy didn’t miss the frost on that comment.

The people who had been in line behind me have all now moved to different lines. 

There is no one else in my checkout line.

The young black woman with the name tag that reads “Shaniqua”, operating the next cash register over at a high speed, and the gray haired bent over and nearly physically broken off old woman operating the cash register on the other side, each have several customers in there queues.  They both glance at the void behind me, then back to Edith Clarice and Nadine.

If looks could kill.

Edith Clarice and Nadine debate the lineage of the various types of soda,

My lower back and legs are killing me.  I lean on the credit card machine for pain relief.

Two more customers queue up, tire of waiting of waiting and move to Shaniqua’s queue.

Shaniqua and the bent over old woman clerk both look at Clarice and Nadine.

Once again, I am the only customer in that queue.

My back really hurts.

The debate rages on. 

Suddenly and without warning, Shaniqua comes to my register and processes my purchase.  

Edith Clarice and Nadine are shocked and offended. 

The soda processes with the discounts.  The other items process, too.

The bent over old woman puts my purchase in my basket.

I pay the bill.

The bent over old woman offers to push my purchase to my car because they do that for senior citizens.

I politely decline the offer.

Do I really look that bad?

Shaniqua apologizes for the delay

Edith Clarice and Nadine are shocked by Shaniqua’s brazen behavior and show it.  “Way-yell, I neh-ver…”

Again, Shaniqua apologizes for the delay.

I thank Shaniqua and the old woman, and depart. 

Another day in area code 32502.

 


© Copyright 2017 Eddie C Morton. All rights reserved.

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