Focus *Workshop Collection*

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
Another prompt from my writing class. "Prompt: Write a catalogue poem. List things."

Submitted: October 19, 2011

A A A | A A A

Submitted: October 19, 2011

A A A

A A A


 

Focus

Noise.

Voices

Music

Clothes spinning.

Light.

Shadows

Bright and dark

Black glass.

More noise.

Table.

Laptops

And folders and books

And snacks.

Footsteps and voices above.

More noise.

 

 

A paragraph I came up with because I didn't like the bluntness of the poem. I wrote the poem that way because I wanted it to feel disconnected, but I wanted to add detail. So I wrote this short story.

The noise surrounded me. All the voices, the music, the laundry swirling around in the dryer. The light confused me. Here, the room was bright. There, just ten feet away, it was dark. There were no shadows. I could see the night through the glass. All was black. The noise continued. I couldn’t focus. There was a table. A table filled with laptops and folders and books and food and—oh. This was my laptop, my folders and books and snacks. My work. There were more voices above me. Feet on the stairs. More and more noise.

 

 

My revised poem (I was told I needed more detail.)

Focus

Noise.

Voices

(high and low,

but mostly high

someone speaks

through a computer)

Music

(some kind of punk rock

covering some kind of country)

Clothes spinning.

Focus.

Light.

Shadows

(or lack thereof)

Bright and dark

Black glass.

Focus.

More noise.

Focus.

Table.

Laptops

(dells and macs)

And folders and books

And snacks.

Focus.

Footsteps and voices above.

Focus.

More noise.

 


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