The Fugly Man and the Butterfaced Woman

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
A sophisticated short story about attraction, desire, lust, and sweaty pennies with cheese.

Submitted: May 08, 2011

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Submitted: May 08, 2011



A Fugly Man walked up to a Butterfaced Woman and asked her if she would like to smell his rusty pennies. He had them in his hands for quite a while and decided it would be thoughtful to share the smelth of such a wonderful specimen.

\"Oh what a lovely aroma those pennies give off on a sweaty summers day. I feel myself becoming quite attracted to your cleverness.\" Said the Butterfaced Woman.

And the Fugly Man looked quite flushed to hear such a delightful comment. \"I've had them in my grasp all morning, and as soon as my famished sweat droplings hit the copper, I felt a euphoric thrust of ecstasy work it's way up my love muscles.\" He replied in a bashful manner.

But little did the Fugly Man know, the Butterfaced Woman had a charm of her own to bestow upon his lazy eye. She had been saving two small chunks of Brie Cheese underneath her bosoms, in hopes they would come in handy when she had no cheese with her wine.

\"This cheese is from the Fuckingham Palace Cheese Ball of 1769. It was such a wonderful evening and I had to save it for something...or someone...special,\" She smiled at the Fugly Man and came closer, \"would you have some cheese with me? I assure you it is one of the finest...just...,\" She nibbled the tip of her index finger,\"...under one small condition. I ask that you eat it off the love buttons on my bosom.\"

The Fugly Man was ever so happy to have been asked such a wonderful request. He had never eaten anything off a womans bosom, and he had hoped that this day would come.

\"I would be honored to give such services, for your fugly beauty inspires my love muscles to extend far beyond my trousers! Let the feast begin!\"

And they fell in love soon after, and lived happily and sexually sweaty till the end of their days.


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