My first cigarette

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic
Totally different from what I usually write, a lot more... negative? I kind of liked it. It's not a personal experience, because I am usually very anti-smoking but it fit the genre quite well. I enjoyed writing from a different angle because it was a cool experience.

Submitted: June 29, 2011

A A A | A A A

Submitted: June 29, 2011




I threw my phone on my bed and burst into tears. Fuck all of this. Everything was so damn unfair. Why could all my old friends at home be partying, drinking and having the time of their lives while I was stuck in this crappy new city where my only friends were as dull as could be. Where I was too shy to go up to the bubbly, popular girls during lunch. Maybe if I’d have the guts to join them I’d go to clubs and shit as well. After all, I wasn’t naturally socially awkward. I could be fun too… Fuck, fuck, fuck. I just wanted to go home. I hated this fucking life and I was starting to push everyone I actually cared about away.


However, suddenly a disturbing grin lit up my blotchy face, wet with tears, as I realized something. I was tired of being the “good” kid.

I yanked open my overly stuffed drawer and scrambled around for it. There it was. Such a seemingly innocent little object that at the same had so much influence over the human population. A cigarette. I had kept it from a couple weeks ago when my friend had offered it to me. Frantically searching for the lighter that I kept around for lighting candles and shit, I experienced a strange wave of satisfaction once I found my fingers closing around its plastic body.


As I opened my windows wide, I lit the end with shaking fingers.


Not matter how many times the experience of smoking had been described to me, it certainly wasn’t what I had expected.

After my first deep, desperate drag I coughed once but my body seemed adapted to the second hand smoke it had witnessed throughout the years and so it remained at that one feeble cough. The burning sensation in my throat was weak, and the taste of it was… interesting. Not bad. I grinned as I saw the smoke leaving my mouth and engulfing my head. I smirked even more once I saw my reflection in the mirror. Hmm, I looked kinda badass.


The cig burned out quicker than I had expected, and I dumped the bud in an old iced-tea bottle. A satisfying hiss rose from the murky liquid. Licking my lips, I turned up my music and danced around my room like an idiot, feeling a slight high buzz in my head my first cigarette had left behind. 

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