She stood there vacantly; the rain drizzled on her cold shivering skin. She wanted to be embraced by a someone's arms; the feeling of warmth, and hands caressing her hair gently, the innocence of a child. Softly she sang to herself
“Litta, oh dear. Your love is so sweet, take me to your heart~”
So she would close her eyes and listen. The storm crashing all around her, her senses mixed and then silence. But footsteps pattered closer and closer. She was unable to move, the humming started.
Someone wrapped around her now. The voice whispered in her ear, “Darling, you shouldn't’t be out at night. It’ll be bad for your health”
She jerked forward away from their arms, but they only smirked. Why was she here, why had those thoughts found their way into her head? “Where am I?” She thought.Her vision strained on the tall man with dark hair and piercing white eyes, he soon became hazy and her hearing became dull. Laughter…laughter with cruel intent, she fell back soaked. Trying to inch away from the man but as her eyes flickered he appeared right before her face
“I’ll have fun with you…”
Another voice , “Litta where are you, Litta!?”
Several voices trailed, all screaming “she’s here, come quickly!”
This was the last thing she heard before blacking out, finally.
Her eyes opened but only so that she appeared half asleep, she got out of the bed she had been tucked into. “Hospital clothes, how tiresome they've become” she thought
“Litta, are you there? Where did you go last night, I was scared” A soft voice calls as it approaches and enters her room.
“You were worried Isaac?”
“Of course, the nurse said when she went to give you your medications you were gone and the hospital had their alarms going off!”
“I…I don’t know what happened”
“Litta did you… again. Who were you hearing?”
“There was a man, I've never seen. I was scared Isaac”
“Was he actually real though”
“Yes he was real why would I lie to you!?”
He sighed and approached the door, he said “I just want you to get better; I don’t want you to die Litta”
She looked up at him, mumbling “I swear, he was there”
Litta sat back and looked out the window almost in tears, “Why, can’t I be normal. I want to go to school… to make friends, why does it have to be me …”
The nurse came in and set her pills on the table, “Honey, it’s time to take your medicine and please don’t try anything again. It’s a real pain in the ass.” She looked over at the slightly overweight gruff woman thinking about how many people she’s made cry today.
“Oh you sure know it, don’t worry I wouldn’t want to be crazy or anything”
The nurse gave Litta a sharp glare as she left the room, she mumbled under her breathe
“Ain’t like nobody care about you”
She swallowed back the pills, and numbness came over her body, numb, that’s how it always was nowadays.
“I want to get away” Litta thought as always, she wondered about the man she saw
“I wonder if he would have done anything,what did he mean by having fun with...me ?”
The next few nights were seemed so dull in comparison to the days prior. She heard the rain again, it was the pitter patter of tiny raindrops hitting her window dragging down having races of their own. Maybe the man with white eyes would appear again, maybe not. Morning came and she left her room, it was the same people doing the same things. Nursing frantically picking up calls, patients acting against directions and she didn't blame them, why would someone send them here when it doesn't help anyone. She was so upset, but she couldn't do anything. A loud sigh was heard from where the phones were and Litta turned to see. Standing there was a doctor, he turned to face her and began to walk towards her. He put his hand on her back with a a sad expression and brought her back to her room and sat her down on her bed.
“Litta I’m really sorry but your mother has passed away, she was killed in a car accident.”
There was silence for a moment, but she got up stood by the barred windows placing her hand on one and without turning said.
“That’s a relief, a coward like her. She’d do nothing but indulge herself in booze; I have no need for a woman like that”
The doctor was a bit taken aback by these words he was leaving lastly saying “Well, once again I’m sorry for your loss.”
“Well, look at it like this. What do I have to lose now; I’m only the crazy girl that everyone abandoned when shit got tough.”
The doctor secured his clipboard looked up at her, but now an expressionless face showed no pity.
“Yes, well that’s why you’re in here Litta”
“I suppose so” she sat and her bed, the doctor left the room.
In this hospital most everyone is allowed outside within the gates of the hospital, they say they give them freedom but you can see the hidden cameras placed around the court yard. It’s hardly ever sunny here
Litta thought “It seems like I’ve always been here; I wish I could’ve seen other places but my parents…”
Isaac saw her across the court and came over to her; she was mumbling.
“You okay Litta?”
“Sunshine and smiles, like always” he gave her a pouted face and she half smiled back
“Isaac don’t you ever want to just leave here and do things, regular things like seeing movies or going dancing?”
“Listen, You’re seventeen, if you weren’t here then sure you could do that. But after trying to run away a week ago you really think they would let you out?”
“I would sure try, I want to go out meet people, you know?”
“You mean that man, don’t you? He’s not real you know it too, stop hurting yourself over it”
“He was there Isaac! I thought you of all people would understand”
“I’m sorry, I know it’s hard and I heard your mother died. I… I didn’t know her but if she was anything like you than I’m sure she was wonderf-”
She zoned out, not hearing what he had to say and yet her ears picked up humming in the distance
" Shhhh" She interrupted. " Do you hear it?"
“His humming, that man, he’s here!”
“Litta you never listen you sure you don’t have ADHD too, god you’re so dense sometimes”
Isaac storms off and Litta is gazing into the direction she heard the humming, its changing directions now behind the building. She unconsciously follows it to a back building which no one ever used anymore, crossing through the construction tape. Her face of excitement faded away as quickly as it came, seeing as it was only a old man, not her man. She walked back to the place where there were no cameras and sat on the metal bench that was beginning to rust. She thought
“I remember this place; I remember when I first came here. I was suicidal, too bad it didn’t work. I've gone to so many sessions and they say i've only gotten worse. But who would have cared though, no shit ass parents of mine, who pawned me off to each other every other weekend? My mom’s dead now, a drunken mess no surprise, but why aren’t I surprised that bitch drank for four people every fucking day but I’d rather take that then being with my father. He was fine when he was working but he came back and he hit me and my sister, I would always try to defend her but once I was passed out he could have at her. I hate my parents, I miss Grace, I want to be with her so much.” Her eyes watered.
“What-cha getting so mad about sweetheart”
Shocked she turned her body tripped and fell to the ground on the bench, she was at a loss for words. It was him, the man. She quickly realized and composed herself not at face level but looking up at him, now she had seen him in the light he was surprisingly handsome.
“You’re … ah that guy”
“Litta, my name is Alden”
“Alden? But wait how did you know my name and how did you get in here, there is gates surrounding the place.”
“How did you get out Darling?”
“I-I don’t know, tell me who are you!”
“I already said dear, nice to meet you in person finally”
“What do you plan on doing to me, there are people around”
“Where are the people Litta?”
Litta looked around back to the monitored courtyard and everyone was gone, not a human sound except those two standing by the rusted old bench. Alden had crept up close to her before she had noticed and grabbed her hands and pushed her against the wall.
“Look at the position you’ve put yourself in now Litta” He whispered in her ear like that same drizzling night.
“You’re no fun if you make it easy, why didn’t you run”
“Why would I, I had to check to see if you were real”
Litta kneed him in the gut and he fell, she rushed to the nearest entrance to the hospital, locked. Alden there again, not angry but instead perplexed.
“I’d like to play with you, so why don’t you be a nice little girl”
“I would never desecrate myself for a stupid man like you; you’re just like my father. I was interested by you, but you made yourself so vulnerable by exposing your character too soon. What a pity too because look where we are, an area with cameras wow too bad ”
Alden jerked his head down to avoid been seen but Litta had seen this as a chance to run. She took off not even looking back then a pang of high pitched crippling noise was sent through her ears. She had no other choice then to fetal position and cover her ears.He was gone, but Litta still lay helpless on the ground. It was dusk and a nurse had seen her sprawled out on the ground and quickly rushed over, she could walk but her head was in a daze and her thoughts more crazed than usual.
She was still in shock from what happened yesterday refused any meals or contact from anyone but the nurse. Isaac knocked at the door, to see if she was doing all right and peeked in because no one was answering. She lay there asleep like a little lamb with wolves’ teeth; he couldn’t help but to sit on the chair and place his hand across her forehead. Litta shifted and Isaac leaned in to kiss her. Just as he was about to a voice came in from the barred balcony outside her room.
“She’s mine. Don’t you dare touch her.”
Isaac hearing this rushed out to find the balcony empty and only a gentle breeze passing, Isaac thought he must be going crazy.
“You heard me kid, don’t try anything again or I’ll kill you.”
This time coming from the room on the other side of the curtain, Isaac slowly opens the curtain and reveals a statuesque broomstick. Dumfounded Isaac quickly leaves the room quickly glancing at Litta still sleeping soundly.
Alden appeared next to her, he bend down next to her and kisses her gently on the forehead.
“Until the next time you wake,dear”
She awoke the next day almost blissfully unaware that she had been “attacked” by that man the day before. She was unusual today, happy almost. She went to Isaac’s room, which is rare, and sat next to him while he watched the monotonous Television show he obviously ignored her because of what happened yesterday while she lay asleep.
“So… Litta what brings you here?”
“I don’t really know, I feel alright today I’m being honest”
“I’m glad Litta”
“Litta, Please don’t get mad at me for this, but I have to tell you something”
She rotates herself to be positioned in front of Isaac; he briefs himself for a moment and sighs loudly.
“I saw him, yesterday”
“Saw who?” Litta asks
“The guy who hums, the one you met when you tried to escape last week Litta!”
“Oh, where did you see him?
“Uh… out in the court yard”
“Yes! I believe you Litta, please try to stay safe”
Litta gets up, no longer amused.
“I really hope you would've thought of a better lie than that. Alden would not have went in front of the cameras; I’m disappointed in you Isaac. That man is dangerous and no longer my interest so please don't try to interfere anymore.”
She leaves the room and Isaac hears a faint mocking laughter in the back of his head.
Litta makes her way to her room and just as she gets in, she is informed she has a visitor, a bit startled confused, she awkwardly nods and is told to meet the man in the front
“Who could it be, not Alden, surely?” she thought
The ominous easily looking angered man was no other than the dreaded father, he wore a false smile until the nurse left and he quickly pulled her along to the secluded corner where no one else could see them. She was almost trembling with fear,muttering out words of disdain with turn in questions about his appearance.
“Why—why are you here…?”
“You aren’t glad to see your father, what a terrible child you are. I obviously came to discuss with you about your mother’s death”
“Not like it even matters anymore” Litta muttered.
“Excuse me, who do you expect is going to be held responsible for your actions. Stop acting like you are so high and mighty” releasing the stench of booze into her face.She stood speechless and as the silence accumulated her father got even more upset and began to grab at Litta’s arm.
“Listen you little bitch, since your mother and I got divorced you’ve been a selfish little fool. You and your god damn sister were nothing but pests under my feet”
“Shut the fuck up!” Litta yelled as she jerked away from her father’s grasp.
“You mad, at me or something” Her father grimaced
“I spent my time in prison for getting rid of that noisy brat, that’s how you thank me. You were always such a bad child, but why am I surprised. You took after that whore of a mother of yours.”
“Of course I’m mad, you killed my sister. Not to mention the living hell you put Grace and I through! You were a horrible father and I was glad to get away from you”
Litta was taken aback by how abruptly she said those last few words and saw the obvious anger on her father’s face, closing her eyes and covering her head she to tried to protect herself from the blow that she knew was coming. As she closed her eyes she saw his fists coming at her and she held her breath in the thought of the pain that was going to come next. But nothing happened
“Huh, what you’re not going to hit me!?” Litta said eyes still closed
But still no response, opening her eyes she saw Alden covering her fathers mouth and holding him to the ground; it was apparent now that he was struggling to breathe and began to fade out. Litta stood staring at Alden taking away the man who made her childhood a wreck, what was Litta going to do?
“Alden” Litta managed to get the words out but not enough for him to hear her. She wanted her father dead. Or was she in too much of a shock to do anything. The wicked man passed out and now Alden was looming over him.
“T-Thank you, but I think that’s enough” she stuttered
“He’ll come after you Litta!”
“I know, but after all that’s what’s meant to happen right” she gave him a worried smile and looked down simultaneously.He took this as a lie and pulled out a pocket knife with a sharp point guaranteed to end a life.
“Alden!” she shouts, wondering frantically where the staff were. His eyes focused on the bare of her father’s neck and pulled the knife close to the skin. Litta closed her eyes. Struggling now, from whom?
“That’s enough, stop, and don’t kill him!” Isaac shouts, he was a small boy but surprisingly able to veer the knife away from Litta’s fathers neck but in return he had a large slash across his torso from wriggling away, her vision blurry, Alden was obviously upset now at Isaac stands up far above the little body on the ground beneath him. Alden picked up his knife again and started walking towards Isaac. He crouches down and says
“What did I say shrimp, don’t try to get involved with my Litta. I ought to kill you now.”
Litta was shaken but she runs over to Alden s arms and places her hands on the blade, Alden sees this and moves to avoid cutting her. Inevitably he did and Litta winces in pain, Alden’s look of murderous rage and intent subsided into regret he stutters to apologize to Litta. He drops the knife and held her in his arms to keep her from falling back to where her father was
“This is your fault! I told you not to stop me, and now…” Alden’s brow is furrowed.
Isaac gripping his torso manages to stand and slowly walk over to Litta and Alden
“No it’s you” Isaac looks up at Alden which causes him to push Litta into Isaac’s arms. He grabs his knife and runs off, the pain of carrying Litta became too much and Isaac collapses with Litta still conscious. Litta kneels beside Isaac and hold him in her arms until finally the security of the hospital, notice the bloody mass of people laying in the decrepit part of the hospital grounds.
“I’m sorry Isaac” As she brushes away his hair with her non-bloodied hand.
The police came the next day, and for god knows what reason the couldn't find the weapon that caused all of this chaos.
Isaac wakes in the room, looks around, and tries to move but a surge of pain comes across his abdomen. Litta is sitting by him, asleep in the chair next to him. He smiles and stares at Litta for a brief moment. Seconds later a doctor comes in and begins to speak with him.
“She’s been there all night”
“What happened to her father?”
“He was admitted to a general hospital do you know what happened last night Isaac?”
“I’m sorry. I just... ahh”
Isaac stops to think about Alden, did he want to reveal this man and have Litta find out more
“I blacked out and didn’t see what happened”
“I see, well then that’s that”
“Your condition is stable and we wrapped up Litta’s hand, you must not be surprised to be attacked by someone vicious here, huh?”
“I guess that true” Isaac awkwardly laughs.
“ Yes, well call in for assistance if anything happens and make sure Litta doesn’t tire herself out to much from worrying.”
The doctor leaves the room allowing Isaac to gaze back at Litta, she shifts in her chair and flickers her eyes opens with a half smile on her face.
“You’re awake, that’s good.” Litta said
“What happened last night Litta?”
She just looked at him for a while and continued to say
“This is what happens when you’re not normal, we should know, I mean after all look at where we are”
“I guess that true, you know uhm… about Alden”
“Yea I head”
“I don’t think he’s safe”
“Do you really think I care about that now?”
“No but you heard him say that he essentially claimed you as his property”
“Maybe that’s a good thing”
“How in God’s name, is that a good thing? Jesus Litta you never put your own safety first. I saw you run up to him and place your hand where you knew you were going to get hurt.”
“I had to stop him from killing you Isaac, I don’t want you to die either stupid!”
“Besides I’ve never been important to anyone, so Alden was just taking what was up for grabs… isn’t that right”
“Litta, you think no one cares. Why do you think I was there, because I cared about your dad? No Litta… I –I was afraid he was going to go after you when he was done, he’s a bad guy Litta.”
“I might have thought that too, but why was he protecting me then”
“He wants to play with you Litta! That’s all it was”
“Play with the broken doll, what fun is that. Tell me Isaac, who has the right mind to do that!” Litta exclaimed.
Isaac looks away into his window
“You can fix broken things”
“I don’t want to be fixed”
Litta gets up and leaves his room, she avoids Isaac the rest of the day and at night she goes out to the roof because she became nauseous from being in the stuffy old hospital and the guilt feelings welling into her stomach.
“Alden, Alden, please come out. What fun could I ever be, am just a pain like my father said.”
she took in a deep breath and listened to the gust of wind rustle through the trees. She begins to sing
“Grace, oh dear. Your love is so sweet, take me to your heart~” She sung that to her sister, and her sister hummed it back to her.
What heart, the lump of stone that sits heavily on her chest never to be broken. Who needs a girl like that? Litta walks over to the edge and leans her body over the rail
She wonder why they wouldn’t have bars, especially at a mental hospital, she wondered how falling would feel. Ripping through the wind as her body came closer and closer to the ground, to only feel the rush of it…
“I should break this stone, throw it on the ground and smash it to pieces”
Jumping over the rail onto the side, she closes her eyes and stands there partially hoping the wind would knock her over. The stone in her chest ba-pa…ba-pa…ba- pa, it goes silent. Noise, there’s ringing now, loud like that time when she was with Alden, was this him? Alden. Litta tries to stand but she is loose of any solid ground, unable to grasp the bar she’s falling; she opens her eyes and sees a hooded figure watching and the glint of their smile.
“Who...!” Litta’s thoughts raced
“I’m going to die,but to be killed, wow .”
Litta closed her eyes, she feels warm
“You’re all right Litta” the voice whispers
“I’ll be okay”
She was being carried safely in someone’s arms now, who was there?
“Darling, I’ve had you all this time. Please don’t slip away from me now” The voice fades in and out.
“Once when I was little, there was a storm, a very bad storm. Everyone ran away from the place but I stood and watched the darkness rise over the sky and engulf the whole world.But now, again, I’m in the dark, running out to the light. Light will take me, away to where Grace is. My breathing is shallow and I feel cold, where am I suppose to go”
“Litta, Litta! Stay with me, I can’t lose you again. Please, Please!” A voice screams out.
“Maybe I can’t go, I need to find my place here, and it’s not time, not time…”
Her body numb, her vision distorted,
There’s someone, with her. But not actually here, "Litta you can’t abandon me, I love you." The voice calls. Love, what is there to love? Her breathe draws faint, it’s raining again. Was this the fun? Fun to have and hold people creating madness around me, I was not ready to leave
“Alden, Isaac, stay with me…”
She recognized the scent of the Hospital , I can’t move. It hurts, but I’m alive.
“Litta, wake up please. Litta” The rest of the words jumbled.
“I can hear my breathing, the rain and lightning.”
Her words, are they heard?
“Can I reach them?”
There are footsteps now they are in my room. Speaking
“Is she going to make it---?”
“She’s in a coma, as long as we keep the tubes on”
“ A coma.. but I'm right here?”
“Unplug them… There’s no hope, doctor please”
“I’m here, I’m here!” Litta shouts
Everyone is gone, “what will they say about me”
“Local girl, attempts suicide; falls into coma” Maybe, but that wasn't’t it. Lies!
she heard humming.
“I’m here, Litta. Don’t worry I’m with you”
“Can you hear me Alden!?”
“I’ve always heard you, you made me, Litta. I love you”
“Made you?” she was dumbfounded by what he meant.
“Your schizophrenia made me; I’m your fear, your regret, your destructive power. But most of all I'm the hatred of losing your sister.”
Alden was alive to Litta, but how to Isaac. Isaac had been there, why? She never asked him why he was admitted with her. Litta always assumed he was her guardian angel come to save the day.
Wrong, he was a devil
Alden was there now and for a while.
“He created his own person of me; he acted on his own to hurt others around him while his love for you grew dangerous”
“He isn't dangerous!”
“He began to love so much, his other characters began to disappear, to become violent in struggle to regain their emotion”
Isaac was getting better through Litta but he hurt her in the process. Once she told him about Alden Isaac subconsciously created a overwhelmingly powerful personality that would take you away from him.
“He hurt your father, he had the knife. Unknowingly, of course”
“What about the ringing then”
“Your subconscious, it was saying run away. Quickly”
Her body trembled, an alarm that was telling her there was danger, danger. But the crippling fear of losing them,caused her shut down. Such a small boy was capable of doing so?
“Who pushed me Alden?”
“Remember when your father was taken away by the other hospital? He got better, he came back. It should be on the tapes”
“He tried to kill me… was that his true intent when he came”
It was all created by her, a man, the alarm, the murderous intent that would lead to her end. They were all warning signs.
“What about you Alden? Why would you attack me?”
“You attacked yourself Litta, you created a monster that loves to hurt than coddle”
she understood never the less still in a coma.
“Pull the tubes”
Her father’s voice
Isaac was in the background.His screams muffled
“No… no she can’t leave, she won’t die, please!”
“ENOUGH BOY, SHE’S GONE”
There was soft weeping, there was pain and finally silence.
“It was a darker infatuation, I've lost myself”.
“Litta, oh dear. Your love is so sweet, take me to your heart~”
© Copyright 2016 Elidra. All rights reserved.
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