They weren't conventional

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
two people who love each other but who are always one step away from conventional. Is it time they said goodbye?

Submitted: June 13, 2014

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Submitted: June 13, 2014

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His face twisted in confusion and angrily he said, “I thought you weren’t interested in me anymore! Why do you even care?”

“I don’t!” she shouted back at him. She stood, mouth open as if to say more but she was fumbling around for her words. She didn’t know what to say because she wasn’t supposed to care but she did. After several seconds had gone by she closed her eyes and exhaled heavily to calm herself and eventually continued, “That’s a lie. I do care. I told you I wasn’t interested anymore because I knew I shouldn’t be, we’re a dead end. But the truth is if you told me right now that you were ready to give us everything you had and if you weren’t leaving, I’d be yours. Except that’s not who you are and you are leaving.” She paused to gather herself because she was beginning to choke on her words. She felt completely exposed. She had never had to do this with him, the “talking about feelings” talk. They were “casual” and they definitely were not exclusive.

Tears started to silently fall down her cheeks but she carried on between breaths, “I shouldn’t want to change you, that isn’t fair. It was easier to tell myself and everyone else that I wasn’t interested in you because we will never be what I want us to be, we will never want the same things.” She covered her face with her hands for a few seconds trying to stop her tears but when it didn’t work she said what she had been trying to say the whole time, “I love you”.

He was shocked, he hadn’t expected her to say that. He thought he could read her, that he knew her so well but he hadn’t been able to see her breaking infront of his eyes, he hadn’t been able to see that she’d been lying to everyone. He had no words for what she had just said. He could think of nothing else to do right now except to take her into his arms. Despite everything, he hated to see her cry.

As he embraced her, she wrapped her own arms around his neck and held him tightly. Both of them felt they couldn’t let go, they needed each other but they couldn’t have each other. He quietly said into her ear, “I love you”. She let out a painful sob as she realised they would never be together, they would never be conventional.  She wanted conventional. She wanted stability. She would never have that with him.

She said quietly back into his ear, “this is the end, isn’t it?”

“I don’t want it to be”, he quickly replied. “oh god, I really don’t. I-I-I just can’t. I’m leaving and you’re staying.” He rested his head on hers and continued to hold her. She pulled herself closer into him and tightened her hold, she couldn’t let go just yet because once she did she wasn’t going to hold on again.

They finally broke their embrace. As soon as they had the both of them just wanted to resume it but neither did. They stood close to each other, faces close, noses nearly touching. Their hands interlinked. They looked at each other for a few short moments and then he said “I’m sorry I couldn’t be what you wanted.” Then he held her face in his hands and brought their lips together. They moulded around each other like home, it was easy but it was passionate. He pulled away and then carefully kissed her forehead without letting her head go from his hands. He sighed and then turned. He paused for a moment and then he walked away from her.

Her heart broke watching his retreating form. She was watching him walk away from her knowing she would probably never see him walk towards her again. 


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