What the Heart Says

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
Somewhat based on a true story. I wrote this when my head was too full and I needed to think. Ichanged some events and names but most of this really happened

Submitted: August 26, 2007

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Submitted: August 26, 2007

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The warm spring wind whipped about as Leanna walked off the bus. She had one thing on her mind; running home to the bathroom where she could puke up the Rice Krispie bar she had just eaten. Lately, her self-esteem had reached it's all time low. She had many friends, true enough, but whenever she hung out with any of them, she either felt like a fifth wheel, or that the person's other activites took the front seat.

She ran up the steps to her house and began her normal routine of puking up whatever she could. Leanna was not fat by any means, 5 feet 5 inches and 120 pounds, but she felt that she was ugly and she had to do something. Only one trusted friend knew about her bulimia, but as Leanna kept her cutting a secret, Missie kept Leanna's secret as well.

A week later, as the last day of school came to a close, she began speaking with her best friend Sadie about summer plans. " Leanna, what are you doing tomorrow, we should hang out before I leave for Morroco."

" Sure, why don't we. All I have going all summer is soccer and work. It's not like I have anything amazing ever going on.

Laughing, Sadie replied," Leanna, just wait, someday you and I are gonna both find ourselves a guy and then you may change your mind."

" You know soccer takes up all my time all summer and fall, how will I have time even to look. And with the soccer girls constantly on my back, i'd be critizied for whom ever I chose."

"Babe, you just gotta do what your heart tells you. Isn't your favorite song 'Listen to Your Heart?' You should follow that."

Leanna agreed but thought that a guy was a bit out there. She remembered her last crush, Phil Chiste. He was tall and on the hockey team. Everyone thought he was a jerk, but he was very attractive. She'd liked him for three years but he hadhated her and now the feeling was mutual. As she looked over her shoulder, she saw a guy making his way around the room just being nice. His name was Aaron Bradley and she wouldn't admit it, but she had begun to like him. She had met him once on a school field trip and ever since then her infatuation with Phil had faded away.

"Hey Sadie, are you ready to leave for Morocco next week. I can't wait. But going with our African Studies teacher won't be so fun. Oh, hi, Leanna, how are you?"

Looking down at her feet like she always did she replied," Pretty good."

Sadie, who used to be so shy before she met Leanna happily replied," I'm excited. But I'm more excited to graduate first. I bet your excited to be a senior next year. And Leanna, I can't believe you're a junior next year. I'm gonna miss you so much when I leave in August."

"Don't even talk about that, Sadie. I'll be so alone next year."

"Hey don't worry about that Leanna. Are you taking Physics next year? Maybe we'll be in the same class." Aaron always was so up beat and charismatic, but she barely knew him.

"I'm taking the PSEO classes next year. I'm taking all my classes but band over at the communtiy college. I figure it's good to do highschool and college at the same time if possible." The real reason she was leaving was because she felt so out of place here. She had quit crying in front of people a year ago when she had become bulimic. She wanted to show no weakness.

As the summer began to unfold, Leanna was bored and forever put down at soccer practice. One night, about a week after Sadie had left for Morocco, Leanna found a phone message from Sadie. She was saying how much fun she was having and that she missed her. At the end of the message, she heard a familiar upbeat hello. Aaron had yelled to Sadie to say hello for him! Leanna was very surprised but happy at the same time.

The week Sadie came back was a very happy one for Leanna: she hadn't puked for a week and she would get to see her best friend again. The day before she saw Sadie, her and Missie had a very long talk about bot hof them finding help for their problems. Missie was already getting help online, but Leanna still wanted no one to know. In the end, she promised to look around for some confidential help so she could still keep it quiet.

Teh next day, she went to Sadies house to look at pictures. Sadie and Aaron had become pretty good friends on the trip and Sadie suggested the three of them start hanging out. Leanna hadn't told Sadie she liked him but she quietly agreed, thinking that she would just find some excuse out, since Aaron would probably just find her to be a dork once he met her like evryone else.

A week later, Sadie was IMing Leanna and said," Aaron wants your email address too so we can all chat. Also, do you want to go to the new movie tomorrow?"

After a long talk with both Sadie and Aaron, she decided she would go just to have fun anyway. She was going on vacation the next day so she wouldn't have to deal with the repercussions of it. She was feeling good becuase she still hadn't puked since her and Missie's talk.

The movie was alot of fun and they all agreed to do it again sometime. so far, Aaron didn't seem to think she was a dork at all. She went on vacation and still got the occasional text message from him saying hi.

In the next few weeks, the trio went to a few more movies and Leanna began to notice that she really liked Aaron and that he may possibly like her back. Even Sadie had noticed this and tried to inquire into it.

One day, Aaron told the girls that he would be going on a trip to LA for two weeks and that he wouldn't be able to chat online for awhile. He told Leanna that he would miss her and text her everyday and try to call too. She promised she would email him everyday in return.

When he got back, it became apparent to everyone around that Leanna liked Aaron and everyone told her he like her as well. She couldn't remember a time when she had been so happy. SHe hadn't puked in almost a month and had stopped walking with her head down.

Soon after though, it was time for the normal soccer season to start again. Sadie had left for college and Aaron was off helping a family member. Leanna was on a soccer trip and couldn't have felt more alone and out of place. She was forced to sit by the coach the whole time and was often made fun of. Later during the night, topics of guys came up: Leanna kept to herself, she wasn't very good with words. When the other girls realized she liked Aaron, they began making fun of him.

Leanna stuck up for him, angry that the girls didn't take her seriously. When she did that, they began to make fun of her and him some more. SHe felt like breaking down and crying right there, but she stuck to her no crying rule. She began to think about where the closest place was for her to puke up the Fair Food she had eaten. As the team walked on, she noticed her head looking at the ground and as they passed amirror, the hurt in her eyes. Not one of the team members noticed the change and Leanna was all the more hurt.

The next morning, her phone went off with a message from Aaron. the rest of the girls were still asleep but Leanna felt no sympathy for them. She felt so happy to hear from Aaron again. The other girls were mad and told her she should have turned the volume off. She said sorry, and began to miss Aaron all the more.

Later on that day, while shopping, she found a figure of one of Aaron's heros. She bought it and hoped that he would like it. She spent the rest of the day with her head down and felt like the trip would never end.

Onthe way back home, Leanna realized how much she really liked Aaron and how she didn't care what the soccer players said. She realized they had no real place in her heart and she no longer needed their approval on what was good. Her heart told her loud and strong that it was Aaron who she cared about.

As she finished the drive home, she watched the sunset she knew that what Sadie had said earlier had rang true. Her heart truley had told her what she wanted. She also remembered Missie's comments. She had found the help for her problems without him even knowing. Around him her confindence grew, she no longer felt she needed to punish herself.

When the sun reached the horizen, she knew exactly what to do. Todo what the heart says.


© Copyright 2019 Ella Peterson. All rights reserved.

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