p.s : Sorry it’s so long, about the length of a chapter in a book. Didn’t expect that but it’s hopefully worth the read ;)
Now this is great. A taste what they call being happy and I’m loving it. I’m thinking that I should do this more often, though I know it’s bad. Does it matter? It ain’t gonna kill me, and it’s not like I have to do it. It is my choice and I’ll live my life how I please.
I breathe in some more and I’m losing the plot. Not in a bad way, but in a way that would fuzz up my perception of reality. My best friend, Athura, has tried it to but it hasn’t affected her as much as it has me. I wish it would, she’s even human. All she does is play around with the flame of the lighter. I look to the others and they stare back at me like I’m Taylor Momsen or someone. I must be off my head now, kind of obvious as I crack up laughing just because I saw someone stare at me. My Kohl ringed eyes must be scaring some people along with my bad-ass attitude which I’m wearing now. Not a good impression but just as well I don’t see them very often.
My boyfriend moves up next to me and gives me a hug. I giggle and whisper in his ear, “I love you.”
He replies, “I love you too,” and giggles also. He pulls out of the hug and goes in to kiss me. I feel his lips crush to mine. There’s no tension, but there is fiery passion. Suddenly he bites my lip, but not out of hunger. I back out slowly and remind him that there was a specific purpose for this.
“No temptation remember? This is a substitute…for our thirst.”
Athura shudders at those last three words. She has recently figured out that both me and Kaiber had ‘sold’ our souls to the ‘devil’. Our punishment for that; we’ve become vampyres. Well how was I supposed to know if it would actually work? We didn’t actually think that we’d become vampyres. Now we are constantly thirsty but finding a way to control it.
“Blaize, your such a bad witch. I don’t even know if Nyx will let you keep your powers now.” I’m too stoned to think about the question properly or even care, but I know that Athura cares about me like a sister. Actually, she basically is my sister now, even though she is my best friend. We did the blood sister ritual thing everyday for two years where we would prick our fingers and touch both together so that our blood would mix. We still did it even after our finishing date to be thorough, but since the spell that bound me and Kaiber to the ‘devil’ happened, we have hardly, if ever, done it at all. The whole idea of being a vampyre sort of freaks Athura out. Sucking human blood freaks her out. Well wouldn’t it if you were still human? Plus having vampire witch friends doesn’t help especially when you’re meant to be a coven. It becomes super awkward when either me or Kaiber gives another one of our human coven members a hungry glare.
I stand up from the moist patch of grass and view the intense dents in the ground from my hands. “OK. I know I’ve felt a bit closer to the element Earth lately, but not that close!” And then I almost collapse again. Kaiber quickly catches then embraces me in his warm arms which hold me tight, almost so tight that I get butterflies up to my neck. His fingers caress my lips causing a tingling sensation in my cheeks and an explosion of hormones rage through my body. While he stares straight through my eyes into my soul as if he knows it already from a past life, recognition flashes through his eyes.
“Obviously I am another element you have grown close with; fire with passion.”
“My ‘spirit’ completely agrees with you on that one,” I lean in for a roller coaster of emotions in a kiss to share with him. I feel a smile grow on his lips, he obviously gets the pun.
With her eyes closed, Athura shifts uncomfortably on the ground murmuring a chant or prayer or some random words I can’t quite decipher. Her eyes reawaken and look at me, “Why don’t you invoke air to clear your mind of any delusions and see if you still have your powers. I can’t see your aura so I can’t tell.”
“You can’t see my aura?” I freaked.
“Nor his,” she looked at Kaiber. “I’ve never ever seen that of a living organism.”
Normally, well before we did the spell, Athura sees my aura a white glow with gold tinting the edges. Around Kaiber she usually sees a bright royal blue which fades out into a soft blue.
“But we’re not dead!”
“Technically you are. Earth to Blaize, you are vampyres now. They’re not meant to be ‘alive’, you’re meant to be…undead.” As I hear her say the word Earth I feel the grass around me grow, the trees whisper to me and I smell newly bloomed passion flowers. This is ironic as even though there are none in seeing distance they are my favourite flowers. I guess Earth is choosing to connect with me through my interests.
“Which explains no black aura,” I calmly figure out. “OK lets just do this shit.” I turn to face the direction east to call on the element. “You fill us and breathe life into us, wind come to me!”
And nothing happens.
I continue to stare east. Why didn’t you come?
“Wind, I need you now. Come to me.”
Again, nothing happens.
I almost feel the need to cry. I pretty much just asked one of my closest friends to come to my assist, and they didn’t show up. Yet Earth is still here even without me calling upon it. But why? Now my energy starts channeling into anger without my permission.
“Water, I need you. Please come to me.” Frustrated with my failed attempts I try another time turning west, yet still nothing. A tear manages to escape the rim of my eye. That is the only water I will invoke today. Lastly, I turn south. “Fire, I beg you. Come to me.” This is the only time in my whole life that I ever felt fully abandoned, or uninsulated for that matter. My eyes drag down from the nothingness in the air. “Well of course spirit wouldn’t abandon me,” I said with a hint of sarcasm.
I feel Kaiber’s warm arms wrap around my waist and I lock my arms in with his to feel secure and safe. He kisses the back of my head. Another couple of tears slip from my eyes. I’ve been so emotional lately like the change triggered empathy or something. But I am so used to calling on the elements like I’m used to putting on eyeliner every day. But I’ve known them my whole life. Hell, the very first element I invoked was Earth. I’d split the whole backyard in two halves at the age of three. Lets just say that mum was more impressed with my abilities than the amount that she had to pay for the damage. Plus I always thanked that day as I always thought of it as the main reason for me being an only child. Less hassle having to look after one kid who could destroy your living area in seconds and having to explain to the neighbour that we did have an earthquake in which only we suffered from. Glad that the neighbour was such an airhead, my mother and I went on living in that house for another ten years. Since then we have moved a bit outland where there is more forestry for me to explore. We have been here nearly four years now.
“Time to go now babe. Don’t worry we’ll figure this out.” He sounds so sure even though he’s probably lost his ability to hear advice from the spirit world. Maybe he does have confidence after all.
“Doesn’t it bother you? Not being able to have a feel for it anymore? It’s already driving me nuts!”
“Try keep calm and have faith in your goddess, Nyx. She knows what is up so if you quiet your mind enough she may give you some advice on how to gain it back. Or even get us out of our current situation.”
Goddess help me, I prayed. “Lets just leave. I wanna go home.”
We vacate the grassy plains next to the beach which no longer holds the scent of attraction for me. Athura tags along dream like, almost dream induced. I don’t think much of it, it’s typical of her to act so dazed. It’s funny how we act more humane when we change into vampyres though. We don’t act as ‘witchy’ as we used to, Athura, a given example of the perfect witch.
I get home from a two minute drive with Kaiber and Athura, hoping that there is a supermarket of food waiting for me in the cupboard. I enter the front door almost instantly noticing the purple note my mum has left on the fridge door. She has used my favourite colour to attract my attention, smart mother. Pacing myself trying to correct my normality every time something feels wrong, I eventually get to the note and read:
Blaize, I’m working late today so I won’t be home til 10pm. Give me a call if you’re worried, honey. Love Mum.
I check my phone and still have an hour to kill. Yeah, if I could suck its blood I think sarcastically. I could be the pun queen right now. Now for the serious talk. I run out the back door to the large area of long grass, bushes and flowers which they harvest themselves in. They are bathing in the silver light of the moon which I look up to and marvel at its beauty. The second thing I do is run to is my gigantic Willow tree with swooping branches sticking out all directions. I pull back a curtain of leaves and step into my mini hideout. The whole tree manages to keep most of the world out which I am grateful for. Slowly I climb my way up to the middle of the trunk where no one can see me by lying down and I start to pray.
Nyx, please help me. I have changed into a vampyre with my boyfriend Kaiber, my best friend Athura can’t see either of our auras and we’ve both lost our powers. Everything is so confusing now. I can’t think straight and I have no idea what to do. I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean for this to happen. It’s all my fault…But what do I do?
All of a sudden I feel light and clear, like all my fears had been erased. Soon I was surrounded by an almost blinding but beautiful light. Then she appeared, Nyx, the night goddess. She was the most beautiful person I’d ever seen. Clearly not mortal. Nyx spoke with intelligence and pride in her voice.
“Merry meet, Blaize AutumnFae. I hear you are pained, my daughter. Your actions have caused you grief yet you do not see how threatening this is not.”
“Merry meet, Nyx. Please, I do not understand. I don’t understand anything that has happened lately. Why have the elements left me?”
Nyx smiles so sweetly that it could actually make a dove cry. “But they have never left you. Did you not notice Earth materializing before you today? Earth is your closest element. It would never betray you as the others wouldn’t. You said it yourself, spirit would never leave, it didn’t. Clearly you underestimated the others.”
“But when I called them they never showed. They didn’t come to me at all. I’ve been doing this all my life, It feels so unnatural for this to happen.”
“You have doubted yourself, Blaize. The elements were already there with you. Did you not notice?”
“I don’t mean any disrespect, but I don’t know what you mean.”
“They had already materialized. Elements will not do that a second time if they are already present. Do you understand why now?”
“I was already using them?”
“Close, my daughter. You’re were surrounded by them. The area you were in and the items you had contained those elements.”
“Oh yeah. We were in the presence of Earth, we usually are anyway, the water was there at the beach, the fire was the flame in the lighter. I’m still confused though. Wouldn’t they respond?”
“Now this is our problem. Since your change into a vampyre your energy has gone out of sync a little but you are having trouble adjusting to it. This wavers your psychic abilities therefore making it harder for you to sense the elements. Earth is the only one you can feel at the moment because it has realized what you have done and it is trying to ground you. The elements need balance and this has completely altered their balance, Blaize.”
She speaks with such knowledge that it starts to hurt my head. She is starting to sound like my mum. But it is great advice and I need to listen to her. Ironically, I realized that is typical mother/daughter situation. And yet she calls me daughter. LOL. “OK, I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean for this to happen. I was being stupid, it was a really bad thing to do and now I have to pay the price.”
“But what price would that be? You have paid no price at all and it wasn’t a bad thing.”
“But how? I thought we sold out souls to the devil?” Nyx gives a very girly giggle. I feel as confused as a bat on steroids. “No daughter, there is no such meaning. There is either light or darkness. Being a vampire is being a part of night, but not a part of darkness. I have simply gifted you, learn to understand it and you will do great in the world.”
“You did this? I mean, why would you make me a vampire? Whats the importance in it? I’m just a person who goes around and sucks blood and looks exceptionally beautiful to my ‘prey’,” I blurt that last sentence out sarcastically. “How can it be a good thing?”
“Daughter, obviously your mind has been mislead into thinking they are evil creatures of the night as most will say, especially some Christians, but they don’t even like the idea of Wicca and witchcraft. My vampyres are the beauty of night, the ones to outshine the stars of the night sky and the celebrities of the modern world. To humans, yes you are alluring and you may be followed but use that wisely and help the modern world with your gifts.”
“Gifts? But I only have one…”
“You have much to learn on this plane of existence, my daughter. Back in my realm you are a high leveled angel with a high affinity to bring about beautiful emotions in people on both realms of existence. Don’t take that rank so lightly either. Your illuminating aura also gives prove of that rank. It was completely wiped from your body when you changed but it will eventually come back but this time it will be even brighter that it will be visible to even the ones who can’t see auras.” She gives me a wink which sends a vision of myself back before this life, serving as an angel with my spirit helpers. I look so beautiful and content. I even have a gorgeous, perfectly white pair of feathered wings. It makes me want to go back, I now remember what my true home is. “Daughter, I hear you but you chose to come down specially to help the ones in need of your assistance.”
“I have a purpose to fulfill, like everyone. I’ve read a lot about that.”
“You are special though, Blaize, always remember that. I know you love to help others, it is of your nature and is why you were chosen for this life mission and given another chance for your soul to grow. One day you will return and bring back more love than you have ever had.”
“I promise not to let you down, Nyx. I miss it now I remember my spirit life, but I have to help others however I can. Angels cannot turn their goddesses down.” I smile sweetly and Nyx returns it. She walks over to me and embraces me in a hug which fills me with the love, kindness and joy that was waiting for me in the spirit world. My first ever gift. My Angel affinity.
“You’ll need that to keep you going for the next few years you’ll be alive.”
“Please don’t say hundreds of years!” I exclaim. Nyx laughs yet again.
“You will stay alive as long as your life purpose does. It’s not a big deal and neither is death. It will eventually come but others will eventually catch up to you to when their purposes have been fulfilled too. Have a beautiful life, Blaize. I will always be here with you. I love you, my daughter. Blessed be.”
“Blessed be,” I replied. An attractive silver light seems to swallow her up and steal her away to the night sky. All I am left with is the light of the full moon, the smell of passion flowers which scent my garden and a strong tingling on my back. My intuition returns to normal as does my emotions, but my intuition is saying to see what is causing the explosion of feeling on my back. I climb down the side of the tree, quickly thanking Nyx and the night for what just happened, and run inside to my room where my mirror is planted against my wall connected to my dresser. I irrationally fling off my top to bare my back in the reflection. What I see is unbelievable. Nyx has marked me as her angel with a tattoo of a pair of wings outlined in black on my back. Again I pray to my goddess, thanking her for presenting herself to me, explaining the worries that taunted me and that she had made me one of her angels even though I feel like I only just found out now. Proud of my new set of ‘wings’ I apply a new top to the upper half of my body which has a low cut back to show them off. No one may ever believe I met the goddess face-to-face, that I am actually an angel incarnate, or that she was the one to plant this magnificent tattoo of angel wings on my back. But who cares. Proving myself to others isn’t my purpose in this life. That is one of the many things I have learnt not to do so far to prepare myself for the next few hundred years.
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