Symptoms of Hopeless Lust

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
An older poem from 2009. Originally called "Sickness" One of my more popular ones among my peers at the time. I was very angst-ridden back then. Well, I still am now. :) Enjoy.

Submitted: January 05, 2012

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Submitted: January 05, 2012



Insomnia, bulimia, cutting in succession,

Most people around just diagnose me with depression.

Then they turn their heads,

As my hope dreads,

I can’t find the cure to my weakness.

Is it true, is it you?

The one to treat my sickness.


You think a lot when you can’t sleep.

Insomnia can make you weep.

Waiting for you... but you never come.

Just like sleep.

You must think I'm dumb.

As I lie in bed, it’s a quarter to 2.

All that I’m thinking is of you.

All you've done,

All the little things,

The precious joy that your smile brings.

Maybe someday if I tell,

I'll finally get you, and some sleep as well.


They say bulimia is a serious case.

But there are all kinds of troubles that I face.

I say that it isn’t a problem, with a fork in my clasp.

It’s not being with you, the love I can’t grasp.

I really want this, I want it a lot.

I’m not doing this to be prettier,

Believe me I'm not.

This sickness could never be compared,

What I think about you,

How I’m so scared.

I could keep the rest in without a doubt,

If I let my secret out.


You rolled up my sleeve,

I clenched my fist.

And you turned away when you saw my arm and wrist.

You said that you’d help

At least you would try,

You said you didn’t want me to die.

It’s been a week, and we both tried

You rolled up my sleeve,

I began to cry.

Not because it stung so bad,

But knowing what we could never have.

I cried out that I was sorry,

You shook your head in dismay.

I was going to tell you,

But you just walked away.


What is this disease that I have?

And are you the only cure?

If I told you right here and now,

Would things go back to the way they were?

Would you still smile like you did?

Would my symptoms go away?

I’ll never know until I tell you...

But that will wait until another day...

© Copyright 2018 EllieWinters. All rights reserved.

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