The Breakfast Cereal Era

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic
My 2011 moving tribute to the modern day breakfast staple (and sexual abstinence).

Submitted: February 19, 2015

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Submitted: February 19, 2015

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The Breakfast Cereal Era

The key to me getting back into shape and giving up alcohol over the past 2 weeks has proved to be a nourishing and delicious familiar old friend.

I've lost 10 kilograms in a couple of weeks. How? Where previously I had a beer for breakfast, I now reach for a bowl of Frosties in ice cold milk. Where I used to invite friends over to watch the football and have a few pints, I now invite them over to watch football and have a few bowls. Where I previously mixed drinks on yet another night out of reckless abandon, I now mix cereals with good sense and emotional security (Variety Packs are a good way of mixing it up and keeping things interesting).

Ok you might look like a bit of an idiot turning up at a house party with a Variety Pack of cereal based goodness, but when you consider the supplementary gains in fibre and calcium, it becomes obvious that you are the one having the last laugh.

My favourite cereals at the moment, in order of increasing adoration are:

5) Crunchy Nut Cornflakes - when I was a pup my mum weaned me off the sugary stuff and onto these bad boys. Crunchy, nutty and utterly delicious.
4) Fruit and Fibre - the thinking man's cereal. Deep, heavy and full of flavour.
3) Rice Krispies - light, airy and subtle. The perfect choice for those summer evening moments when you just want to chill out and think about nothing.
2) Cocoa Pops - ignore the betrayal of millions of innocent British kids with that ridiculous name change and focus on the good times. The moment the milk starts to turn chocolatey, the age old question of how long you wait before you put down your spoon and drink the rest of the contents of the bowl, the naughty wiping off of the chocolate milk lipgloss from your lips with the back of your hand. Cocoa Pops are Gods amongst lesser breakfast cereals.
1) Frosties - In a word, stunning. The Americans call them Frosted Flakes, the Brazilians call them Sucrilhos but there is one thing we can all agree on. They are better than sex.

On that note, to my mind, there is no good reason why you cannot have cereal on a date as opposed to drinks, dinner or any of the rest either. Just remember to take two spoons with you. And remember everything in moderation. There will always be occasions when your passions get the better of you and you reach out for that box to pour yourself yet another bowl. But there is no rush. Cereal is there to be enjoyed as part of a loving relationship. The evening should never be all about the cereal. Otherwise there is every chance that you could wake up the following morning and regret everything.

My advice, as always, is to take things easy and stay safe. As long as you do that, you can just scoop away and enjoy it.

 


© Copyright 2019 Elliot Borges. All rights reserved.

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