the faceless identity

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Literary Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
Jessica was a regular girl. She was just another faceless identity. However, her name doesn't have to be Jessica, it could just as easily be Jane, or Rebecca, heck, she might not even be a girl. She could be, she could be you.

Submitted: February 07, 2016

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Submitted: February 07, 2016

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The faceless identity

 

This is a story about a girl. A teenage girl, if you want to be precise, I am sorry I can’t give you much about her identity, but this girl could be anyone, she might even be you. For the sake of this story, I will call her Jessica, Jessica Doe. No not Jane, before you ask, if you were called Jane these days, people would notice, it’s not much of a common name anymore, Jessica is a lot better. This is all hypothetical, of course, her name could just as easily be Kate, or Isabelle, there are millions of people this girl could be. She can be whomever you want her to be, because that is the beauty of a Jane Doe, she is faceless until you give her one.

Anyways, Jessica, was an ordinary girl, well, maybe not ordinary, but she sure wasn’t famous either. Well, she could be, because again, this is all up to you, for you, she could be the Queen of England, or some beggar on the corner of some street. This story could take place anywhere you want it to be, but for me, this happened at a school.

  Jessica went to a school that was right beside an old park, filled with a rusted swing set, monkey bars with peeling paint, a sand pit that had god knows what in it, and a worn down slide, really everything you would find in an old park. Everyday, after school, Jessica would go there, she would not, however, swing on the swings, or play soccer with her friends out in the field. No, Jessica would just stand there, as if she were watching the park, daring it to call her out. Afterwards, she would go home, do homework, that is, if she could bring herself to do it. Then, after homework, she might eat some supper in her room, and that was it, that was Jessica’s day, she would then go right back to sleep, as if nothing had happened at all during her day.

In the morning this is where our story really starts. Jessica would get up every morning to the sound of an alarm clock, whether it was to an annoying beeping sound or jazz music, we don’t know for sure, Jessica never told us. You might ask, Why didn’t her parents wake her up, or the brother you didn’t know until know she had. Why was Jessica greeting the day completely by herself. Now, this is a normal practice for teenagers, you don’t need your parents waking you up, or your little brother jumping up and down on the bed, you’re a big girl. However, knowing all of this, this was not how it was supposed to be done in the Doe family house. Normally, before everything happened, Jessica would wake up to her brother jumping up and down on the bed with her parents standing by the always open doorway, looking at the two of them as if they had never seen such a thing. Later, they would all go to the kitchen where they would enjoy a quick breakfast, while standing in the kitchen at the counter eating that breakfast which might consist of homemade blueberry pancakes Jessica’s little brother had made so proudly by himself, like the big boy Jessica told him he was. She would hug and kiss her parents, and then fist bump her little brother before heading off down the dark hallway, turning her back on the warm glow of the kitchen, and heading off to the corner of the street so that her friends could pick her up on the way to school.

Don’t get me wrong, Jessica had a happy childhood, filled with supporting parents, and funny memories with her little brother at the park aforementioned. Jessica would go to school, talk to her friends, hang out with her boyfriend, get good grades, that her teachers passed back with a smile. After school, Jessica would head out to the sunny soccer field after changing into her uniform, she was the captain of the team, and she had worked hard for that title. Two hours later of grueling workouts, Jessica headed home, she would finish her homework, help her family with dinner, eat dinner, play games with her family, go for a walk, then go to bed, with a smile on her face, without a single care in the world.

Now, isn’t that the most boring story you have ever read? There was not a single plot twist or conflict in the story. It was full of sunny days, friends, family, sports, happiness, and not real life. In real life, something happens, yeah, you might have that period in your life where everything goes your way, for some this stays longer, but eventually all of it, or at least some of it, will crash and burn, and you know what they say, the bigger they are the harder they fall, and that is exactly what happens to Jessica Doe. Keep in mind, her name isn’t really Jessica, it could anything, Jessica could be anyone. Keep in mind she could live down the street from you, or live in the apartment across from you, heck, you might pass by her every day on that dark corner, and not even spare her a glance, because she is Jessica. And nobody gives a shit until her perfect life crashes into yours.

Jessica, upon entering her later years began to change, not just physically, but mentally as well. Her little brother no longer jumped on her bed in the mornings, her parents thought they knew better than to stand outside her doorway watching her as her brother disturbed the peace. Instead of jumping up out of her bed and doing some quick stretches, Jessica had to struggle to drag herself out of bed just to make it to school on time, if she was late, people could notice, they might get suspicious, and that was one thing Jessica could not have. You see, there is a time, in everybody’s life, where you just don’t want to get up, you could be sick, or you have a math exam you didn’t study for, or maybe the bed is just so warm. This was what it was like for Jessica now everyday, except, it wasn’t because she was sick, or because she had a math exam, or because the bed was too warm, Jessica just didn’t feel like it anymore.

After getting up to greet her dark room, Jessica would get dressed in the most drab clothes she could find, normally grey, or black. The yellow, the reds, the blues all of the brightness from her closet was gone, or at least hidden at the very back where nobody could find them.

Jessica would walk zombie like down the hall past the brightly lit kitchen where her family was enjoying one of the breakfasts she had long since stopped attending. Jessica would walk past the curb where she used to wait for her friends, who would soon come pick her up. She just walked right on past it, as if it was just another corner, just another place where just another kid might get picked up to go to school, not that she cared.

Jessica would walk until she got to school, where she would sit down at the very back of the class and keep her head down. Every once and awhile the teacher might hand something out, congratulating those who did well, and reprimanding those who failed, Jessica got nothing. She would no longer get the encouraging smiles, or the quick congratulations, that Jessica hadn’t even known she appreciated, not that she cared off course.

At lunch, Jessica would walk past the brightly lit cafeteria that contained all of her laughing and smiling classmates, she might pause to look in, to see what was being served, or at least, that is what she told herself. Jessica was definitely not looking in to watch her ex-boyfriend with his new girlfriend, and her old friends laughing at some probably stupid joke, not that she cared, not even a smidge.

Jessica would look outside through the small windows on the doors leading outside, and watch the kids play soccer out on the sunny field, all of whom looked like they we’re having the time of their lives. Not that Jessica cared.

Afterschool Jessica would walk to the park, spend an hour just watching, than walk home, and once she got there she might eat some dinner, because usually her stomach felt like it was eating itself by then, maybe do some homework, take a long cold shower and go to bed, already thinking of the plan she had begun to concoct.

Now, you might be wondering, and if you aren’t I am a little bit worried, what’s wrong with Jessica? Where are all of her friends, or the smiling teachers, or the amazing breakfasts, and supportive parents? Where are all of the great memories she was supposed to be forming? Well, I’ll tell you, for Jessica, they left, but for others, because remember this story isn’t about one person, it’s about many, hundreds, thousands, it could be anyone. For the others, maybe these things never existed.

A little while later, this story is still taking place, but it is nearing the end. It was a rainy day, I don’t know why so many people dislike rainy days (notice how I said dislike and not hate, that is because if you hate something you are prepared to kill it without remorse, are you ready to kill rain? The answer, probably, is no, so don’t pretend that you are), rain brings life, and so many other thing too, like rainbows, and mushrooms. Anyways, it was a rainy day, and Jessica was still dreaming. This was like any other day in every way except all of them. So, when Jessica woke up, she could hardly move, not in the paralysis type way, but she just didn’t want to move.

After a solid fifteen minutes of attempting to drag herself out of bed, Jessica managed to complete the thought impossible task of waking up. Jessica got dressed quickly and silently, than making her way down the hall to the door. On the way there she passed her family’s brightly lit kitchen, where like always, her family was enjoying breakfast, this time scrambled eggs and bacon, her favourite. Jessica paused for a moment, thinking of warning them, but ended up deciding against it. They would find out with everyone else, after all, today was the day. Jessica walked out the door and didn’t look back once.

Jessica began her walk to school all the while thinking of her plan, she had spent months on it, making sure it wouldn’t go off with a single hitch. She had obsessed over this plan, because this was the plan of all plans, the one that would finally start what she always wanted. Everything she needed was all in her bag.

As Jessica walked, a large SUV drove past her splashing a puddle of muddy water onto the pavement, inside the brightly lit car, was a large happy family, blasting away some new popular hip hop song, all the while singing along to it. The rain continued to fall.

When Jessica reached the school, after getting her stuff out of her locker she rushed to first period, being late would only draw attention, and she couldn’t have that, not today. When her teacher passed back their tests, she ignored Jessica, like always, not that she cared, only, today, Jessica did care, but she just pushed it out of her mind and forgot about it, but not before she thought about she had been doing a lot better even after all that time she took off a few months ago.

At lunch, Jessica walked past the brightly lit cafeteria like always, and like always, it was filled with her laughing classmates. When Jessica paused to look in, she couldn’t help but feel sorry for all of them, if only they knew. She continued down the dark hall way, until she got to the door leading outside, nobody was out there, nobody was playing soccer. Jessica went out into the rain and took a look around, thinking about how she used to spend a lot of time out there, playing soccer, she thought back to the days of her being soccer captain, never again. Jessica walked back inside after spending some last moments, cherishing the way the rain felt on her skin. Down the dark hallway she went, into the bathroom. It was warm in the bathroom, almost like a warm embracing hug, welcoming her. After locking the door behind her, Jessica prepared herself, taking out everything she would need from her bag, carefully organising everything so that it was all easy to find. It was curious, during these last few minutes, she noticed how brightly lit the bathroom was.

Remember, this story, like I’ve repeated, is not about Jessica, it could be, but it might not even be about a girl, let alone a teenager, this story could easily be about that boy down the street that everybody calls a faggot. It could be that old man who sits by the grocery store asking for change. Or about that girl who everybody says is a slut. However, it could, just as easily, be about you.

 

 


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