diary of a forgotten life

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
the story of a young mother that had to go in to hiding leaving behind who she was

Submitted: February 12, 2012

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Submitted: February 12, 2012

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prolog

who I am I dont know.who I was I must forget.I am what you call a forgotten life.doomed to live life new.whit a new name.forced by danger.the once I love the most I must forget.the life I once led I must abandon.by now you must wonder how it became that way.well it started when I was forced to divorce the love of my life and marry a man I didn’t even care about.After a lot of things that don’t matter he tried to kill me that’s how I ended up needing a new identity that not even my children ore the love of my life may know about.here is my story I would put my name under it but I don’t know whom to sign it as


 


 

chapter 1

a fresh start in life

the moment I was presumed dead by a friend of mine who was a cop.he took me out of the house I was living in he notified the ambulance personnel that I wasn’t dead ore hurt but that I was to be safely escorted to my new home,in the ambulance I got my new identity and my disguise.a simple blond short haired wig blue lenses, a voice changer and new clothes were whom I would become.my name was changed to Elra Jones.The new place I was to live in was a small house just enough for 2 people.my cop friend mike would be my protector my live in bodyguard.Not to wake suspicion my new identity was his half sister he just recently discovered existing.So there I was just moments before I was the wife of an abusing man whom had 3 gorgeous children of her ex husband, lover and love of my life.And now i was a single young women that recently was found by her half brother living in a small cabin by a lake.It was a gorgeous lake and a romantic cabin.But all it did to me was make me feel lonely and even more hurt of what I was losing.I knew my decisions were wrong.but never did I suspect they could result in this.I had been forced to divorce my ex husband whom is the love of my life.Unable to forget him after i married again.What was an arranged marriage and an unhappy one at that.I still went to see my ex husband.After I got pregnant I pretended it was my new husbands baby.But after he was born my husband got his DNA tested on my son.And it came out that Davie was not his child but my ex his.To say the least it didn’t please my husband to find that outbut instead of divorcing me what I had hoped he would do.He tried to murder me.And that ended me up here.I stepped out of the cab that had brought me here from the border where the ambulance had dropped me of.I smiled weakly.Mike stepped out of the cab to and put his arm around my shoulder.its not much but its my own.”he said and he smiled proudly.its gorgeous mike.”I said and gave him a fake smile.i know you wanted to go to him, but Atien would find you there.”i have to live without him mike, I have to at least try but I don’t want to sit here all day I want to work.”you can just do something you wouldn’t normally do.”I smiled.The first night in my new house was strangely silent.No 8 year old daughter coming to you saying shes is scared of a monster.No 5 year old son screaming over that his teddy bear is hidden.No new born baby crying you awake to be fed.You would think the silence would help me sleep.But I missed the scared 8 year old the screaming 5 year old and I missed my little baby, but most of all I missed my lover.He meant every thing to me.After a uneasy sleep I went in to town for work.After passing several stores hearing no miss we don’t need helpI found a little restaurant where a flayer was pasted on the window saying,help wanted intermediately.I went inside.It looked cozy and inviting.A young women came up to me.can I help you ma,am?”she said whit a warm smile.i would like to speak to you’re superior if hat is possible.”she smiled and nobbed.After that she disappeared to the back.I looked around tears forming in my eyes.I recognized the interior.It was the place where I had my first date when I was only 19 years old.Back than I had hopes and dreams.Some I accomplished like marrying the man I fell in love whit he was the same man I had sat here whit having my first date.In the time we were together having his children and even after having his child.Now I was here for a job as a waitress I assumed.I smiled at the irony.I would work in the place where I had found my new life back than whit my lover, and also now finding a new life as single again.A elderly man came to me.you wished to speak to me?”yes sir I am looking for a job and I was wondering if I would find it here.”the man looked to the sealing as to thank some one.when can you start.”now if that is convenient.”oh yes come on in misses?”miss.”I said swallowing.miss Jones.”well miss Jones follow me.”he led me to the pantry where he kept the uniforms.He gave me a clean looking black blouse and a white skirt.this will be you’re work outfit miss.”I smiled and went in to a bath room to change.you can take it home keep it clean and need looking”I nobbed.The first day of my new life had begun.But I felt reluctant to leave my old life behind.The restaurant was busy and kept me occupiedonce in a while a young mother would come in feeding her baby ore trying to get her child to behave.It hurt me seeing how she could spend her time whit her child ore children while I was lonely and missing them realizing that I took them for granted.After 7 exhausting hours I went home.Mike was waiting for me there.had a nice day?”all I did was nob and I went to my bedroom.I felt under my bed for my suitcase.After i found it I took out one of the pictures I had smuggled whit me.It was a picture of me and my ex husband when we were very young.Tears formed in my eyes.How I missed him.I put it back in the suitcase and hid it again.want something to eat Elra?”mike said while he knockt on my door.I’m not hungry.”would it help if I called you Sharon?”no,no that would not make me forget her life.”he opened the door.i know its hard, but you just changed all who you are it will get better.”i want my kids.”I said not being able anymore to stop myself from sobbing.Mike hugged me.robin is like that to.”he said.you spoke to him?”yes I went to him, he wants you more than anything, he is thinking of going back to spain he has nothing here he said not after you died.”I looked to the floor.its all my fault.”no, no you cant help it that you love him, you cant help it that you ended up whit him again, you got pregnant, Atien shouldn’t have tried to kill you.”I raised my shoulders and dropped them.It all didn’t change a thing I still was here lonelyfeeling all alone.I went to sleep early that day.Sleep seemed to be the only way I could escape.Sleep was my only friend.In sleep I could be whit my family,I was myself again, the women who I used to be.Even though I knew she was dead, and that she could never be reborn again.She was lost and Elra was here to stay.I had to get used to that,but not when I was sleeping.When I was sleeping I was who I was born as, in my dreams I was still Sharon.But how long would that lasthow long would I remember her.And would I ever except Elra.Only time will tell.

 

Chapter 2

past is haunting me

a month after changing my life mike came in to my room.Elra I found out something about you’re son.”I jumped up.My eldest son was taken away from me when he was 2 years old I divorced when my children were 5 and almost 2 when I re married my new husband didn’t want my son so he had him adopted.what about him?”well I found where he is and I talked to his foster parents who are his 5th they are thinking of giving him away again I told them I could bring him to his real mother, they said that she is dead I explained it all not mentioning you’re name ore how I knew where you were and well right now I can go pick him up. If you want him here it will be small living.”are you kidding my son?, of course i want him here.”only thing is Elra he cant know you’re his real mother not just yet.”i don’t care.”mike left after that to go pick up my precious son.I had not seen him in 3 years but I didn’t care it would provide me whit some one to hold on tosome one to care for.Realizing he might not bring much whit him I went in to closets to find clothing that would fit him.nothing I found would it was all to small ore probably to big.I soon realized that this cabin was used plenty of times as so called safe house and when some one ore some family would have to make a quick escape they would leave every thing behind.I decided to go shopping for clothing I needed some and so did my son.I took the second car and drove to the mall.Went in to shops to find clothing.Non were good enough for my son.And the ones that were were to expensiveI only had a small amount of money so I couldn’t buy much.It was the last money I had of my own.The last of the money I could snatch whit me.In a little store I found the perfect out fir for my little boy.It was affordable for me.For myself I bought some t shirts a few pants and some underthings.When I came out of the store I saw a little boy not older than 2 make his way shaky over the mall floor.When he reached me he stopped to look at me.I kneeled down to greet him.hey there little boy can you talk?”mommy.”he said.I’m not you re mommy little guy.”I said to him.where is you’re mommy?”I asked him.He looked at me not understanding.mommy.”he said again.where is you’re mommy?”I said again.And this time he also looked at me wondering what I meant.OK lets try this, where is you’re daddy?”at this he reacted whit raising his shoulders.I realized he had lost his parents.I picket him up.lets see if we can find you’re mommy ore daddy little guy.”holding this little boy made me realize how much I missed being a mother.Something I never thought was possible before I had children.After 5 minutes my ex lover came up to me.My breath stayed within me.I felt like I was going to faint any minute.Begging in side of me that he wouldn’t recognize me but secretly also hoping he did .i am sorry ma,am was my son bothering you?”I looked at the little face of the boy.I didn’t recognize him at first but now I did I was holding Davie my own youngest son.no, he was looking for his mommy mistaken me for her.”i am sorry for that ma,am.”miss.”miss, I am sorry I think he misses a mother.” he said as he took Davie off me.why on earth would he miss that?”I asked trying to sound natural.his mother passed away a month ago.”i am sorry.”I said.thank you, I wasn’t married to her anymore but I did still love her, I miss her terribly to.”my heart broke again.I couldn’t tell him I still loved him to, how could I, to him I was a stranger.how terribly rude of me miss, I am Robin Tennant.”he said to me and stuck out his free hand.Elra Jones.”I said to him, and took his hand.lovely name.”thank you sir.”I said swallowing my tears.A moment later my 8 year old daughter came our way.dad come on.”she said sounding dark and sad.not now Luna.”robin said to her.daddy I want to go home, I hate malls.”she said.you never did before.”he said a little annoyed.i take it she is you’re daughter.”yes this is Luna, Luna this is Elra wasn’t it?”yes Elra.”nice to meet you, can we go now?”forgive me miss she never is this way normally.”she just lost her mother, I understand.”how do you know that?”Luna said.i told her now take you’re brother and buy him and ice cream.”fine.”she said and left.i am sorry.”don't be, it must be hard on her to she is probably grieving.”yes,she loved her mother very much,she was what you call her mommy,s girl.”poor child.”I said looking at her.All the joy and fire I knew she had was gone.It looked as if a fire man had sneaked in to her body and had put out the fire in side of her heart and eyes, they were dull and depressed.i am sorry sir I have to go.”I said and got up.no wait.”he said.I turned around and smiled.where do you live?”i am sorry sir I am not comfortable to tell you that.”of course can I at least ask where you work?”I smiled again and gave him the address.He smiled absently.something wrong?”no, no not at all, it is just this is where i had my first date ever, ironic isn’t it.”I nobbed.I really have to go.”I said and left him.When I got home mikes car was waiting outside.I didn’t hesitate a moment I ran in to see my son.Mike was sitting at the table playing monopoly junior whit my 5 year old son.Elra.”he said and got up after he saw me come in.Aiden can you come here pleas.”Aiden got up annoyed and walked up to us.Aiden this is Elra you’re new mother.”She doesn’t look like my mommy at all rob and Melissa said I was going home to my real mommy.”they told you that?”mike said annoyed.well than I suppose.”i am you’re mommy Aidy.”I said.I used to call him that when he was very little I hoped it would spark his memory.prove it.”he said whit fire in his eyes I recognized off his father.you look like you're dad, same fire in his eyes, you were born 1 month to early in a hospital, you had brown eyes and brown hair you were born on July 4th .”I said smiling at the memory’s.my mom had brown eyes and brown hair.”he said.I took of my wig to show him my natural hair.doesn’t prove a thing whit you're blue eyes.”he said.I took out my lenses to show him my natural me.At that his eyes grew bigger.MOMMY.”he said and hugged me.I finally had something back what would give me joy.I was a mother again.Mike told me he didn’t like it that my son knew my identity but he got him to promise to say nothing at school he was willing to pretend I was his new foster mother.Aiden slept in my room cause there was to little room in the cabin.But I didn’t mind at all,I loved the fact he was sleeping here.At least I could love himnow to find more love that I can keep.And peace with who I have to be.

Chapter 3

forgetting who I was

No one knew I was alive ecsept mike.today I stood before that window again.Looking in on the people I loved the most.Davie my little boy was in the play pen playing whit his toysrobin my lover was in a chair looking trough picturesI notised the tears in the corners of his eyes.I laid my hand on the glas hoping I would feel alittle of the warmth of his heart.I geus I did it to lowdhe turned around and looket derectly at me.Split second thinking made me deside on pretending I was dizzy and out of breathhe came out of the houseare you ok ma,am?”yes I am not lost my breath for a moment, did I startle you?”I sayd smiling at him.no.”he said looking down on to the ground.I never knew him like that normaly he was sweet and out going.Now he looket shy.where do you live I could take you home.”he sayd.near by whit my half brother, but dont worry about it ill just call him.”no noncense come on in have a drink and ill take you home.”my heart was jumping at the idea but my head was reluctant, I knew that if i would go in side and see my son I would have an even harder time letting go my past.i should go.”no you dont you arend all that well you sayd so come on in.”I steppet in to the house.Davie my little boy stood up holding the rim of the play pen.cute baby.”I said.yeah my son davie.”nice name.”his mother gave it to him.”where is she working?”I knew after I said that a heart braking anwser would come but what was I to do?his mom died 4 months ago.”poor boy.”I said.daddy!.”I heard a girls voise scream.what is it now?”he said as he went to the stairs.daddy I dont want to go back to my foster parents there freaky and mean and they make me pray, mom would never make me pray.”his eyes turned dreamy.i know baby.”he said.After a few seconds my daugther came down the stairs.why cant I live whit you daddy?”the law is why you know that baby I would love to have you here I would love to have youre brother here to but I cant the law states your enot mine any more.”she looket at me.who,s youre friend?”i dont know havend asket.”you replase my mother after 4 months and you dont even ask what her name is?”my daugther seemed angry.oh dear I am so rude I am sorry dear my name is elra youre daddy was nice enough to invite me in I wasned realy feeling well.”shore lie to me, every one does.”i would never lie to you.”I said.no wel lmaybe you would think about that before you tried a move on my dad and telling me you were just invited in.”she was baby come on.”no even you lie to me you said that you would do any thing to get me home any thing.”and I did and I am sorry.”even mom lied.”she looket in so much painI dug trough my memories the ones I had to forget but couldnt remember lieing to my own little girl.why did she lie to you honey?”I asket eager to find out and also to calm her down.she sayd she would always be there, but shes not, she said she would never leave me, she said I was the most inportant thing in her life she said I was her princes ,she said she would never abandon me and now look where is my mom huh?, you dont mind cause he is replasing her whit you well have a fun time making babys cause in the end I never matter do I?, I am just a kid not inportant cause you can have more so lets all forget Luna.”luns honey.”no leave me alone dad have youre nice life whit my baby brother and youre probebly new kids, I dont matter to you.”she said as she stormed up the stairs.I relised what she had meant.I told her time and again I would always be there.But the always was cut short and I had to fake my death breaking my promise.And also I saw how it must look on a fragile 8 year old girl that just lost her mother seeing how her dad invites this new women in she wouldnt understand that he was only beeing friendly.i am sorry you had to see all that she lives whit foster parents after her mom died and its so short she well shes hurt.”she is grieving maybe I can talk to her?”no sit down ill go talk to her, yould you ceep an eye on my son?”shore I must have pict up some mother instinct in the last 3 decades.”I sayd smiling.He smiled faintly back and started to climb the stairs.I looket at my little boy who was stil cluthing the rim of the play pen.you are going to get youre self hurt standing there al that time baby.”I sayd as I closed my hands around his chest to pick him up.I took him out of the play pen and put him on my lapso how have you been dooing?”I said in my baby voise.He grabbed my necklase and startet examening it.isnt that pretty?”I said rocking him.no daddy I wont.”I heared my daugther scream and than I heared foot steps.A moment later she was down the stairs.you! Let go of my brother.”she sayd whit so much anger in her voise and eyes.More than I had ever seen in her.youre dad wanted me to wach him.”I said.waching him doesnt mean taking over his idea of our mother your enot his mom you never will be now put him down.”Luna was it?”yes.”she said as cold as she could.well Luna he was fussing a little so I tried to calm him down.”hes calm so put him back in the play pen he isnt yourse.”it shouldnt hurt me that she said that but it didmy own daugther yelling at me that her baby brother my own son wasned mine ript my heart in two.now I f youcould be so cind to ore give me my brother ore put him down ill over look youre skanky atempt to take my dad.”she looket at me so cold that I would think the room would freez.A moment laterthere was a knock on the door.Luny honey lets go home.”I heared a women say.i am home go away.”she said.Luny baby I told you you could visit youre father but its time now.”she walket to the door and opened it whit a lot of strength.i am not going back.”Luny come on.”my name is Luna.”you never minded youre mother calling you that.”my daugthers foster mother said.she was my mother.”i am youre mommy now Luny.”Luna,s foster mother said.Luna ”my daugther said angryher foster mother steppet backstepping on her brown skirth so it almost madeher tramble.Her husband suportet her back on to the ground firmly.Even though I didnt know how ferm that women could be.She was skinny and looket like a single gush of wind could blow her of her feether blond hair was tied in a thigth bunher husband looket diferent his brown hair was short and combed neatly whit his black suit and black shoes he looket like he was a limo driver.But his ferm way of standing hinted about a muscular fisike.My daugther seemd to realy loath them.now Luna do not disrespect youre mother now.”the man sayd.i would never do that.”thats my girl.”the women said.oh she said I would never dis respect my mother, but you are not my mother.”i am now Luny.”LUNA.”she screamed.Luny show respect.”my name is Luna.”robin came in to the room looking paler than he did before I went in side.daddy make them stop calling me Luny.”he cant honey he isnt youre daddy any more.”the women said.misses jenkins I would apreciate it if you would not call her Luny it is sensetive whit her cause her birth mother used to call her that.”robin sayd pausing after every word.Making it look like he had to weigth every word before he spoke them.well mister what was youre name again?, oh well never mind her birth mother is dead and shes my daugther now if I want to call her by her cute little nicname I will, and there is nothing you can do about that.”relising that my baby girl was misarable made me miss my old life even more.If I could i would have blown the fuse on it there and then.But I had to be safe before I could do that.If I could ever do that.

 

to be contineud


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