Easy Elimination of Stupid People

Reads: 250  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 5

More Details
Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
Just abolish product warnings and let the problem sort itself out

Submitted: August 07, 2013

A A A | A A A

Submitted: August 07, 2013

A A A

A A A


 

Easy Elimination of Stupid People

 

By Elton Camp

 

(Note:  All these are paraphrases of actual product warnings)

 

For meeting this goal, the best way to go about

Just remove warning labels, let it sort itself out

From the stupid, what could we expect

If these actual dangers they didn’t detect

 

The bottle of Windex wisely does advise

“Do not spray this product into your eyes”

Lack of this warning would give a thrill:

“Don’t use this rotary tool as a dental drill”

 

To admonish, Liquid Plummer does choose

“This bottle to store beverages don’t reuse”

On a bottle filled with hair dye:

“As ice cream topping, don’t try”

 

Zantac 75 urges users make no mistake:

“If allergic to zantac, do not take”

Bic lighter says safety please embrace:

“Always ignite lighter away from face”

 

So that earplug users may have no gripe:

Breathing hampered if caught in windpipe”

Cautions the mattress on which you wallow:

“Warning:  Do not attempt to swallow”

 

The pepper spray most sagely does advise:

“Caution, never spray into your own eyes”

On the automobile windshield shade:

“To drive with this in place is forbade”

 

Perhaps elsewhere such things are not said

All of these, in the USA, have been read

With the subject, I am not through

Keep on the watch for the write of part two

 


© Copyright 2019 Elton Camp. All rights reserved.

Add Your Comments:

Comments

avatar

Author
Reply

avatar

Author
Reply

avatar

Author
Reply

avatar

Author
Reply

avatar

Author
Reply