The Lovely Impasse

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
A personal debate between myself, my significant other, and my reflection.

Submitted: April 27, 2011

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Submitted: April 27, 2011



The Lovely Impasse
I feel this is always secretly at hidden odds
Because of my ironic selfishness and your contradictory kindness
You and I are made of the purest irony
I shove away thoughts of unconditionality
And not breathe in a partially-explored world
This world is so different from yours
No hesitations, no half-thoughts
Wrath, or glued-together emotions
Everything is answerable
Solvable, with a reason
I don't want your searchlights
I don't want you to see that which will
Make everything worse
For you
And me
But better for her

Is this supposed to be what self infatuation feels like?

Then why do I cry? Why do I feel unworthy?
My apologies to her for such a stupid question
Of course I know the answer
Ignorance is bliss though
The diamonds are glittering through the iron bars up ahead

Is it normal?

Can I have a conscious the way she does?
Or is everyone like that?
I know that you'd only tell me
Words that encourage my guilt
If you knew
What would you do?
Tell me I'm crazy?
Dub it as a normal thing in people?
Of course you may or may not know that it really doesn't help.
So why bother bringing up the topic?

Well, you're my only, right?

I should be able to tell you anything.
So why can't I?
I just want to retreat into her
And not think
Not dream
Not hear peoples' words. Don't speak so much to me
The clanking of iron is hurting my ears
Even the controlled flow of jewel-like ink
Is an attempt to escape IT
Why does IT hurt so much to give in and confess?

That I feel these things
Which apparently are so human and natural
Is it supposed to be this painful?
They drain me so much.
There's no drive.

There's a reason behind everything I do, you know.

It's just more liquid-like, less crystallised than your diamond palace.
So leave me be
It just won't work
The way it never did

© Copyright 2018 Emma K. All rights reserved.

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