Another one puking – what a surprise. That was my cue to exit the room and explore the other wonders of the party. I end up finding a group of boys with an odd resemblance to primitive animals, repeatedly shouting at one particular boy to ‘down it’.
Why did I even come to this party? Everyone here couldn’t be more different to me. Believe it or not, I’m not the type of girl to roll over the floor and humiliate myself just to be considered fun or attractive to the opposite sex, those of which who are blatantly more interested in proving their manly worth to their peers, forgetting the fact they’re only boys. If i’m totally honest, I’m the person remarking the stains on the carpets and the litter scattered all over the garden, feeling sorry for the owner of the house. I decided to reside to the only quiet corner in the house and try to go unnoticed until my mum finally came to my rescue at 11 o’clock.
Then he came into the room and spotted me; so much for going unnoticed. I’d seen him around school a few times, always surrounded by a group of boys mimicking his every move. He was just one of those people who had everything figured out, which as a teenager is a pretty impressive quality.
Avoiding eye contact, I prayed he wouldn’t come and speak to me. I felt undeserving of his mere acknowledgement that I existed so a conversation would leave me in an awkward and embarrassing state of awe.
‘Hey,’ Well, that was a waste of a prayer. ‘Are you okay? You look really... well, pissed off.’ I could feel his hand creeping casually onto my waist, like a thief stealing my composure – as if it wasn’t already at critical levels from him just speaking to me.
‘Oh... um, yeah,’ I managed to force out a few sounds. ‘Just a bit bored.’
‘Yeah, and most people here are complete idiots too. Do you want to go for a walk somewhere?’ I agreed because it was either that or sit in a corner on my own for an hour.
I followed his tall silhouette away from the party, past the cluster of tents which to me resembled a quaint, country village. I stifled a laugh; much more sexual activity happening in this ‘village’ than in the pensioner populated ones I’m used to.
I struggled to match his long strides as we left the animalistic party noises behind us. When it was finally silent, he stopped and made himself comfortable, lying on the grass, facing the sky.
‘What the hell are you doing?’ I stared at the boy sprawled on the floor. ‘You look ridiculous!’
‘Emma, lie down.’
I noticed moisture droplets on the grass reflecting the moonlight. ‘It’s wet though.’
‘Oh, come on!’ A low murmur of a laugh surfaced in his throat. He leaned forward and grabbed my arm, yanking me onto the floor. I landed in the space next to him and he outstretched his arm, welcoming me to close the awkward hap between us. I moulded into the grooves in his body, my head finding a perfectly shaped niche in his chest. For two people who had never really spoken, we fit remarkably well together.
‘Just look at that.’ He pointed upwards to the embroidered blanket of sky covering us. At first glance, it looked two-dimensional, like our world was a small bubble which stopped at the edge but as my eyes focused, I saw endless layers of stars.
‘Do you realise how vast our universe is? It’s infinite; it never stops. And it’s ancient. The whole life span of the Earth occupies less than a billionth of the Universe’s timeline. So our whole life, which is the longest time frame we will ever know, is next to nothing. The Universe doesn’t notice such a miniscule event such as our existence. We are nothing.’
The weight of what he just said hung in the air for a long moment. Why would he bring me here to depress me and eradicate any feeling of purpose I previously had regarding my existence? In a fit of irritation, I sat up to scold him for ruining my life. But then I saw his face; a picture of contentment. His eyes were swimming pools of serenity, bereft of any fear which was expected after his previous revelation about the meaningless existence of the human race. Yet he seemed to be almost smiling, like he held the secret to all of his problems in this one realisation. Or maybe it was the secret to the problems of every single human that has even passed through existence.
He finally noticed me scrutinizing him. ‘You don’t get it, do you?’ His laugh resurfaced. ‘If your whole life is barely a speck in the Universe, all those small problems in your life are so neglected by the Universe that they aren’t worth worrying about. Just spend your time making yourself happy and making other people happy because it wouldn’t make sense to spend it any other way.’
I finally understood why he brought me here; to make me happy. I resided blissfully back into my well-formed niche, comforted by my new perception of life. We revelled in silence for a while and I could tell by my heavy eyelids and his lack of movement that we were both falling asleep. As we slipped away into slumber, I tried synchronizing our breathing in the futile hope that it could maybe make me a little more like him.
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