"So how ya' feeling?"
"Like I could kill myself'," I leered sarcastically only earning me a frown from Ryan.
"Mimi you can't make jokes like that here, they could take you seriously."
"Why shouldn't they? That's why I'm here in the first place."
Silence took over and we both sat there engulfed in the sound of the other wards and their visitors. I hated visitors' day just for the fact that they stuck me in a "homey” room with whack jobs and the bigger whack jobs that locked them here, thinking it would make them “better.” But they don't know shit.
"Well Ryan, how's life on the outside? 'Cause you know, I don't know nothing behind these walls. This life right here is all I gots," I replied using my best old man voice.
Ryan dropped his head to the table laughing hysterically making me laugh as well. We received a few dirty looks from wards and visitors along with some looks from the watchers. But it was mostly shock from them since I haven't shown any emotion since I've gotten here. But Ryan always changed that when he was around.
"Oh shut up! You've been here for a week at most."
"Ah ah, it's been ten days and I've hated every minute," I replied with a wide grin.
"Oh well pardon me," Ryan smiled.
As of now I was an inmate of St. Harold's Drug and Mental Rehabilitation Center. It was a thirty minute drive from school so Ryan's been coming to see me these past few days. The only small salvation I had in this fucking hole was his visits, he's been here every day since my brutal admittance. We would just spend all of our time fucking around, giving me that small escape from my little comfy dungeon inside my mind. Ryan, my best friend, was my only light in all this darkness.
"Um ... so how's everyone doing, the guys haven't been here since my second day in this hellhole. You're the only one I've seen the most."
"Yeah, they send their 'heys' and 'wassups' but school’s starting to hit hard. Capstones are around the corner, you know."
"No I wouldn't, you know, cause I'm in a loony bin," I giggled at my own comment receiving one from him as well.
"I know I haven't been here long but I'm starting to miss the outside world already. I miss hanging out with you guys. As you can see I don't really have a very interesting community here," I grinned showcasing the room with my arms.
"Just try your hardest ok? You shouldn't be here too long."
I felt my lips curve upwards, before I reached over and left a soft punch into Ryan's chest.
"I always loved your optimism."
"So I've heard," he chuckled.
The room, scattered with fluffy couches and warm sunshine slipping through the beige curtains, continued around us fluttering with voices of the whack jobs and their stupid visitors. I stuffed my socked covered feet into the plush of the armchair I was snuggled in while Ryan smiled at me as I wrapped my arms around my knees pulling them into my chest. I let my eyes dart around the room, regretting it the minute I came in contact with my fellow patients. I was still confused that many of the people here had visitors. I was also surprised that people still got sent to the nut house for chronic masturbating(meh, they'll die once they hit a certain number.) But then again, I don’t know shit either sometimes. I looked back at Ryan, who had now entered his own world, thinking hard about something, and I’m pretty sure I knew what it was.
“So how’s your problem,” I mentioned giving Ryan a look.
He turned his head before lowering himself onto the table wrapping his arms around his head.
“Ryan,” I motioned slowly shaking at his arm.
“I don’t wanna talk about it,” he mumbled.
“Well you didn’t just come here to talk about just me and my oh-so interesting dilemma.”
Ryan lifted his head in defeat before frowning towards me.
“I’m a pussy aren’t I?”
I burst into laughter sending heads to fling toward my sound. Ryan had bright red fill into his face before grabbing me by the wrist and hushing me to calm down.
“Stop laughing already. It’s not funny, it’s a very unfunny matter actually,” he glared.
“I-I’m sorry. I really a-am,” I stuttered trying to stifle my laughter while Ryan gave me a frown.
“Ok, ok. I’m done. But I couldn't help it, you asked a hilarious question.”
“No, it was a serious one and you gave an unserious reaction,” Ryan mumbled.
“Ok, ok. Well to answer your question, you’re not a pussy. I promise you’re the manliest man I know. And that’s coming from me.”
Ryan frowned before dropping his head to the table again.
“But then I … I just don’t ...”
“Ryan, he is your brother.”
“But he’s dead,” Ryan replied popping his head up.
“A minor detail,” I countered.
“Fuck that! This is a major detail. My brother is buried. In the ground.”
“So,” I said. “He’s your brother. Your funny, awesome brother. Being dead doesn’t stop him from being your brother. If your mom really wants you to visit him you should. You haven’t been there since the funeral, Ryan. I know you want to. ”
Ryan smirked before his face went back to stone.
“But … Mimi?”
“No fucking ‘buts.’ Go see your brother. He practically raised you after your dad left. Not seeing him would hurt his feelings way too much and hurt you way more,” I replied leaning back and folding my arms.
Ryan leaned back into the chair before looking up at me under his eyelids and sending me a small grin. We grinned at each other before a patient came over slamming her hands on the table shocking Ryan and gaining a glare from me.
"My son had your ears," she gazed, slowly reaching for Ryan's face. I kicked my foot out from under me before jamming it into her gut alarming the guards as they shuffled over.
"Get out of here you old cunt!"
She turned to me almost touching my nose giving me an unfortunate whiff of her rotten breath. I could feel the shuffled movement of the watchers come closer.
"You are a devil. You will bring no good to this world."
"Yeah, yeah tell something me I don't know. Now get out of here," I growled.
"Mimi," Ryan called out.
I pushed myself away from the thought of hitting the old woman and watched her shuffle away to bother other visitors, as I sat back down.
"Gotta love my roommates," I sneered.
Ryan and I broke into a fit of laughter.
"Mimi why are you here?"
I looked confused, "You know why I'm here."
"Tell me anyway."
"Please. Please Mimi?"
I rolled my head in annoyance.
"I was unhappy. Saw a tall building. Tried to jump, but you know police officers. Always coming to save the damn day."
"Mimi," Ryan whined.
"What do you want me to say," I snickered. "I'm unstable dude, that's why I'm here."
"Mimi, I don't think you're unstable I think you sick-."
I scoffed harshly, "Oh really? Then why are you here? Why are you wasting your free time here with a 'sick' person?"
"Because you're my friend."
"If I'm your friend you should love me flaws and all. And that should be doubled considering where the fuck I landed!"
"I do love you! We all love you! That’s why we want you to get better. Then get you the hell out of this place, so you can come back to school and have our crazy life together again, remember? And what about Emma?"
I rolled my eyes in irritation, fuck that name!
"What about her," I mumbled.
"She's your girlfriend!"
"Ex-girlfriend! Apparently dating a crazy chick isn't on her life agenda," I mocked, dropping my chin into the palm of my hand and staring hatefully at the table.
I sighed and turned to Ryan with a look on my face telling him to drop it but Ryan's look said he really wanted to know.
"I don't know ok? One minute she's all 'I'll be with you every step of the way' to 'this is just too much for me to take.' I don't give a fuck though, we were together for two years and if this is all it took for her to dump me she obviously wasn't for me."
"I'm really sorry Mimi."
"Don't be, I can handle this. I'm the one that tried to jump so I'm the one that has to recover."
"I'm ok, Ryan. I'm ok."
The silence grew between us again and Ryan slowly reached over and touched my hand. It sent a sweet rush between my fingertips and caused me to release a big smile before I spoke.
"Maybe I should just switch back to boys."
"Yeah 'cause guys are way better than girls," Ryan snickered.
"Exactly," I laughed out loud.
We laughed hard, garnering more attention to ourselves and ignoring the glares. Suddenly, the muffled voice of a doctor rang throughout the eerily calm room before the shuffling of feet, watching people hug and share their goodbyes.
"Promise you'll get the guys to come and see me soon," I asked quietly.
"Of course, you know I will.”
I watched Ryan rise and head toward the door, filing out with the other visitors after we hugged. He turned his head back to me and beamed before flipping me the bird. I let out a giggled and flipped it right back before watching him disappear behind the door. Suddenly the room was nothing, back to a silent room of watchers leading whack jobs back to their rooms of solitude. Thinking they’ll get time to reflect on the day, but no one knows shit here.
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