I never meant for anything to happen,
And yet the world went at its cruelest against me.
What I thought would bring me pleasure,
Turned into a bomb of suffering.
Perhaps it is my fault, I just never realized it.
The bomb sat and went on with its tick tick tick.
I patiently waited for it to explode, for me to enter my new world.
What I ran away from for so long is now what I welcome.
Pain is meant to wake us up, but this time it became a living nightmare.
A story that had a happy ending is turning into a tragedy.
An injury that was on recovery is being wounded once again.
A miracle became extinct.
It is my fault.
Tick tick tick.
What I wanted to escape from is now my prison.
Behind the bars I stay abandoned from my soul.
The dark shadows came forward and I welcomed it once again.
The familiar shade of black clouded in my mind and I grew numb,
My heart continued to beat against the shadows
But each thump became more painful.
I look past the bars and saw a window with the sun shining down from it.
So happy and warm,
And so . . . hopeful.
What is this hope if it comes at the wrong time?
This hope that was meant to reappear but kept disappearing?
To welcome or to not welcome . . .
What a question to ask behind these shadows.
Each side of dark and light has its peaceful side.
Life and death.
Warmth and cold.
Yes and no.
If there is black and white, where is gray?
Abandoned like the rest of me, waiting behind a personal prison.
Tick tick tick.
Needed or not needed, there's not much of a reason now.
But for now, I must say farewell.
The fault is mine.
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