Happiness at a price

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
Written on reflection of the old year passing and the dawning of a new year. A poignant reflection of the struggle to unshackled ourselves from the chains of our past.

Submitted: December 31, 2011

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Submitted: December 31, 2011

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I am not the person that I once was, don't you see?

I thought I could stand tall and fight the fears that lay restless  within my heart.......but I am tired of fighting this battle.

As days go by my resolve grows weak, I feel caged and shackled to a life that seems to shadow my existence.

I am not about to sit and spout what has gone on in 2011, there are thousands who are worse off than I, however I feel suffocated......my lungs are deflated.........my life seems to follow a cycle......I'm wired......manic........I take risks.....risks that ordinarily I would not do........I make decisions.....life changing decisions that are made because I am in that never ending cycle........Then the clouds float over, casting darkness inside my heart.....I'm numb,.......devoid of any emotion.......I feel Im spiralling out of control.........If I look back, this has been going on for the last 10 years, on and on....over and over, on and on and on, but to a lesser degree.  cycle after cycle......round and round.......but never have the cycles been so vicious and often as they are now.........I can't cope with fighting any more, I have fought the turmoil, living an uncertain life, for too long and it has eroded my personality.......THis isn't depression.....it's hell!!!


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