~A Horrible Play ~(The curtain opens to three friends sitting around a table on a porch, drinking hot chocolate and telling a story as they make it up.) ~Aspen: (in a mystical voice) Once upon a time... ~JC: We were at war... ~Aspen: And a beautiful flower girl was at a fairy's wedding. ~Rhia: Then a bomb fell on the wedding and everyone died. ~JC: Them two survived. ~Aspen: Who survived? I hope it's the bride and groom. (clasps her hands together hopefully) ~JC: And they do. ~Aspen: How cute! ~Rhia: But the groom is realy gay! (starts laughing) ~Aspen: (fake outraged) Not true! Right JC? ~JC: Right. ~Rhia Nonono! 'Cause then he went to kiss his boyfriend. ~JC: That was a goodbye kiss to his parents. ~Rhia: (looks at JC questioningly) Yes totally. The groom's dad is nineteen and makin' out with him. ~Aspen: What the heck? Anyways, the bride is Alli and the groom is Alex Pettyfer. ~JC: Not! ~Rhia: (rolls her eyes) I still don't believe you because Alex Pettyfer is totally gay! ~JC: I second that. ~Aspen: Whatever. Rhia likes gay people. ~JC: You like Rhia's gay cousin. ~Aspen: I 'heart' Chris! (traces a heart in the air with her finger) ~Rhia: (crosses her arms and glares at Aspen) Umm excuse me! He's not my cousin, and he's mine! So back off! And I'm pretty sure JC was talking about Peter. ~Aspen: (choosing to ignore Rhia's last statement) Let's talk about the bride and groom again. ~Rhia: Shush Aspen! Back to the war! ~JC: Then the bride and groom got machine guns and fight off aliens together forever. The end. ~Aspen: No, not the end! Four is not an alien. He's running from aliens. ~Rhia: We're not talking about 'I Am Number Four'. And just for the record, he is an alien. ~Aspen: (looking embarassed) The end!! ~Rhia: (as an afterthought) I still love gay guys! ~Aspen: (throws her arms up in the air to say 'I give up') ~JC: P.S. This play sucks!! ~Rhia: Yes it does. (Lights dim and curtains close on the three friends drinking from their cups)
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