The Moment or Us

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
The feeling you get when the person you love is no longer there.

Submitted: August 15, 2012

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Submitted: August 15, 2012



Early morning, I roll around under my sheets as the sun is piercing
its rays through my window.

Today could of been a good day, yet its not. My mind is restless,
still thinking about last night. Where you once rested still
imprinted. You were just here?

When the shots went off, I ran to get you, there you laid motionless
blood flowing like lava from you body. When the paramedics put you on
that gurney you held my hand tight, numb it became as you told me it
was going to be okay.

Entering that hospital everything became bleak, gleaming lights
illuminating blinding my pupils, I could not find you. Doctors holding
me back, but my mind thinking the worst.

I waited and waited, seconds, became minutes, became hours. When they
told me I could see you I became lost. Like a child looking for his
mother they had to direct me. When I saw you it hit me like a cannon,
I fell to the ground grabbing the ledge of the hospital bed.

I held your hand the same you grabbed. Praying to the lord above I
told him to keep you close, my eyes are shut water seeping through, I
cannot control these emotions. Next came the beeping and white coats
rushing in like a raging stampede. Pushing me aside they removed me
out of the room. Angry my fist connected with ones’ lower cheekbone.
They had to constrain me as if I were a patient myself. I see the
blood coming from your mouth and for a moment I could taste it as if
we were one.

Again the waiting game, on the tiled floor outside of room 203,
doctors, nurses staring at me with lonesome eyes, I pushed my head
against cold hands and began to scream. Everything within that moment
pause, I saw you again. Suddenly a cold caress swept across my
shoulder, “I’m sorry but we couldn’t save her.” Slamming the white
coated man into the pale blue wall I cursed him, it was like looking at
death himself, there was no compassion, no feeling.

Running through the halls out into the cold brisk December air I fall
on hands, clothes become soak from the snow and salt on the
ground,”Why God?”

Back home, I rub my sheets, smell the pillow, the fragrance of your
hair still lingers within my nostrils. I want to be with you. Going
into that kitchen, I’m cold and alone.

I reach for that knife. I want to stab my heart, the only thing that
you ever had, but I confused. If I decide to kill myself, hell bound I
will go and you my angel I will never see again, but it hurts so much.
It didn’t have to happen this way, it didn’t.

If I would have got there one second sooner it would have been me
taking that bullet, but I didn’t.

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