What if they knew?

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic

about someone who is fed up if people classing her as emo, when they dont know anything about her

As I lay awake on my bed, everything else asleep but the creatures of the night. I can hear the owls hooting. The wolfs howling under the moonlight, but most of all I can hear your sweet relaxing words of joy in my head. “I love you. I want nothing more than to be with you every night and watch you sleep. To hold you in my arms every day and tell you everything will be OK.” The voice that said “I will never leave you.” But after everything you said and done for me, you still left. Your memory is imprinted on my heart like a tattoo. The burden of secrecy is placed into my soul like a knife slowly slicing my sanity away. Can I hold on any longer? Can I live without you just for the sake of everyone else? Can I live with the pain of your presence in my head every night as I dream of you? Of expecting you to be there, but as I turn around I realise that reality has taken you.

I was a fool to believe your words. I knew one day that something would make you turn away. But I denied myself the thought because I could not bare the emptiness I would start to feel when I imagined my future image. You meant the world to me, but after all a relationship is not a one way thing. Was I the only one in love? Was I the only one that was blessed? You can not answer me this as your blood is still stained on my living room floor. The redness, the richness of the smell. The way it tastes in the air.

I can see your ghost floating over me. Haunting my nightmares, I wake up in pain. I can feel the rigid edge of the scars across my wrist, they represent the rigid edges of my heart. Every night I inflict more pain upon myself by letting more blood free out of it's dark prison inside my body.

Everyone can see them, they stare at me with a questioning look as if they judge me. But would they judge me if they knew? I think not. Slitting my wrists is my way of showing the pain no one else can see. Letting everyone else know what words can not begin to explain. I am here now and you are making fun of me. You are classing me as an Emo. But if you think it is funny, would you laugh if I didn't turn up to school tomorrow? I was here yesterday. And today I am not. As of tomorrow I'm sure I will be Ok, for I will see all I have lost by the beginning of my end.


Submitted: March 22, 2010

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