“Your mind keeps telling me no but your body keeps telling me yes!” Sounds familiar? The thing is many persons have approached me saying that my wife or partner told me she was in the mood but her body says different, which is the opposite of the above statement. However it is true though many time we say one thing with our mouth and something else with our body. Take for example, this seemingly benign situation. When you and your partner sit on the couch do you sit up close to each other or at opposite ends of the couch? When you go out in a group do they spend most of the time taking with the mates than with you or when they bring you at a family gathering do you take second stage or does another family make you feel like you are the guest of the hour?
Do they still embrace you even though they are upset with you or refuse your advances and tell you they are not in the mood? Or do they be bitter and angry and do not tell you why? You know it is funny these questions will lead to a lot of thinking but it has to be done. We fail to realize a relationship is an active process. You will hear that a lot in my articles and writings. Remember the person whom they cheat on you with more often the not is actively pursuing them while you are complacent.
We often tell our friends “he is a good man” or “she is a good woman” but they never hear from us. Why that is? This is something that has always baffled me. We are not in the relationship with our friends. Further watch the anatomy of a cheating spouse. The cheater is getting sweet texts on the cell phone from the lover. The lover will bring surprise dinners, gifts, love notes and tell them how wonderful they are. The spouse on the other hand is bitter. Instead of seeing the reason why they got together in the first place on building on that they act as if the person owes them big time. Remember the only person that owes you is yourself. YOU owe it to yourself to see to it that no person can dish out better than you can to your mate. You owe it to yourself to make sure that your partner leaves you feeling good that you are in their lives.
If you are not doing your part then prepare yourself to lose the one you love. It is as simple as that. No frills! You cannot keep them in your life by doing nothing. You need to learn to read your partner, that can only be done by listening to them when they speak. One must take an interest in the things that interest them even if you are not keen on them yourself. It means more often than naught walking in their shoes seeing things from their end of the room before you make judgment calls. Be empathetic and sympathetic. Remember your partner has feelings just like you do. Throw selfishness out. Stop thinking of yourself and stop using I in conversation involving the two of you.
Watch your body language too. Remember those questions we asked in the beginning you have to be aware of those things and more. You partner reads your body language and what it says takes precedence over what you say. Men are just as perceptive when it comes to reading body language just as women. It takes active participation in a relationship to make it work people!
No fire remainsburning after the fuel or the wood is gone. To keep it going one has to add more of each. A relationship is no different! You have to add more of yourself into the relationship, nore of your time, nore of your attention, more of your love for it continue. Too often, married people stop dating. They stop doing the things that kept the excitment in the relationship going and where they run into problems they find it easier to sweep it under ther carpet rather than talk it out. Life is complex yes but our attitude determines how we deal with the complexity. I hope your relationships be good ones.
My Two Cents!!!!
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