the word friends

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic
living in an ever changing world my veiw on the word friends has changed.

Submitted: November 17, 2008

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Submitted: November 17, 2008

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November 17 2007

When I was four friends used to mean days under the hot Texan summer sun, having hot sticky candy melt between our fingers. Playing make-believe out in the front yard. Friends had meant a strong pair of hands to pull you through anything. Friends were the one mountain in my life that could never be put down. A pair of shoulders to climb on, a partner to play hopscotch in the fall when the oak trees turned to red, a warm chest to cry in when your puppy ran away and a didn’t-I-tell-you-so smile that brought tears of gratitude when he found her.

Friends had meant that period of time when I was happy. When I could count on them for anything. They were the people closest to my heart and were like a flicker of light in a down-shadowed world. The only light- the light that made me see the difference between truth and lies; deception and kindness. When the world seem to crash before me, they laughed and pushed me forward. They wouldn’t ever let me see complete darkness.

Friends had meant the people who forever kept me company. From winters to fall sunsets, they stood by me. Running barefooted in a nearby empty lot in the summer to collecting bugs in April showers. Running through sprinklers and learning how to ride a bike. The term “friends” was a great part of my young childhood.

But then things took a drastic turn. When I was ten the word changed. most of my friends had moved of never wanted to play with me. So I was left alone. Replacing the good old days were silent recesses and digging for rocks by the swing set. It had brought the long burdening ache deep within me when I saw other children playing about. What was I supposed to do? I was merely ten. I could do no more than weep and cry at my loss.

The word friend no longer held much meaning. It brought bitter tears to my eyes. Knowing that mountain I so often looked up to at disappeared and crumbled before I even knew it. It was as if a huge wave was sent my way and instead of destroying me- it destroyed what held me up, leaving me hopeless and at the utter mercy of the wave in front of me.

No longer could I stand as a whole in front of society. I couldn’t last a day without thinking about my old friends. I often stared at the millions of groups and looked at them like I was. I began thinking why? If they had so many of people to talk to- why separate into small groups of two or four and play? Why not invite the whole world? At this point the word friends had brought a whole new outlook.

Now it seems that the word friends mean hope. Friends mean happiness. Though I don’t see much of my old friends I spend hours and hours talking to them and meeting new people with different outlooks on everything. I hardly cry anymore for I’ve realized I shouldn’t be dwelling in the past but striding into the future. Friends have been teaching me valuable lessons every day. Friends had taught me how to trust. Now I can never tell a lie to their faces and much less behind their back. My friends know all about me- to my hobbies to the silly memories of my childhood- they know. My friends bring me up on a cloudy day- never down. I still cling to some strings of childhood but I focus on the curtains of now.

Friends now mean the times when I got in trouble and they were the reason. They mean all those times when I herd nasty remarks about me they were there to accuse them guilty of false accusations. One day I’d come home crying and the next someone has a bloody nose.

We stand up for each other. All for one. One for all. Friends are my life. I’d do anything for them and I’m sure they would do the same for me.

When I’m twenty one I hope friends mean as much to me as they do know. I often wonder if I’ll be stuck keeping all the secrets till I burst. I often wonder who will be my maids of honor and help me plan my future wedding. Who will keep their promise and stick with me till the end. I wonder when that mountain I so long for will be restored with a fortress around its base. I wonder if friends will mean back-stabbers or my dream sister or dream brother. I wonder who will be my children’s godparents.

I wonder if my children will pass through the same things as I did. I wonder if I’ll ever have those summer nights chasing fireflies back or sipping hot cocoa by the window on my first snow day. But most importantly I wonder if I’ll ever have such good and pure friends as I have now. So, if ever miss my friends or feel out of contact with them- I’ll just look up and smile at the Texan summer sun.


© Copyright 2018 Ezparanza Angel Melanina . All rights reserved.

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