I don't know what to feel, I am mad, I am sad, I am confused, I am wondering. I don't know what to do, I am unfoused, I am down, I am not going to cry even though I have a lump in my thoart tempting me to do so. I am lost , I've lost myself, depression is kicking in I feel like hurting myself but I promised I wouldn't. I'm writing hoping it will make me feel better, but its only has taken little affect. I am at lost, I am not worried, I am not weak, I am not scared, I am not sure what I am. I don't have courage to do what I planned, I don't have much strenght to keep this up, but I am to show him it doesn't affect me, to show him I am strong, to show him I am good to show him I am..., what am I?
I am nothing right now, I guess you could say I am worried, it does affect me so, I do care about him. I wonder if he didn't do anything rash that will give him bad consequences. I am worried about his actions not knowing what are they going to be... you could say a lot about me but he knows the truth about me. However, nomatter how much truth of me I tell him, I am still mysterious to him and myself. I've been thinking and you know what I'm letting go just this once, and you should too well if you choose to. but I doubt you will it might be already to late to tell you this; I planned to, but I know you wouldn't be there in your home maybe I was wrong and you were there in your home. I just didn't have the courage to go, I don't know what to say or do. You know I have trust in you, confidence in you, and know you follow your instincts while you do, I don't i think and analyze the situation and outcomes. But when I don't lets just say things to down the drain. I just want to talk to you, about not just one thing but several things, I need you to help me clear my fogged mind, I can't stay focused. You know I love you, but please I know what your gonna do and I can't stop it, its your action not mine and your decision but please do one thing before you do just don't get in a ton of trouble and don't over do it control your satifaction of your action. So, in other words I'm not okay, I need help from you and or any of my good close friends... please I feel like breaking down!!!
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