taking life and letting go no matter what...

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Literary Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
its just little of something kindof confusing...

Submitted: September 11, 2007

A A A | A A A

Submitted: September 11, 2007



Death is a symptom I can not avoid it is to defy I sometimes wonder how I come up to that state of mind I just, I just well its hard to take my mind of it its so temping to hurt myself again. I ‘m used to the pain I want to feel the pleasurable pain again to help ease my thoughts, and to feel like I'm in another world where no one is there only me, ... like I'm suspended . My body feeling light... the pain below rises up again and again, it won't stop till I hurt myself over and over and will satisfied it needs once more, to ease its desire of my pain into pleasure. Like my pain is compared to yours, yours is nothing. What a have is a disease that never had a cure for, I'm the one who cries, I despise life. I cried, I despise life with all my soul why am I alive what is my purpose of life? I am always falling fast it looks like the last time we hold hands and watch your smile fade away and let me see you watch me die, I see your eyes at my ear side I wish I had your hand with me... cause I'm falling fast looks like the last we hold hands can't believe looks last time we hold hands. The last time I'll ever see you once more. I know you trying to help me but your help is futile in this state of mind.

Yooou bleed all the time, the pieces of your broken heart are wasting time, I can't forgive myself for all the sins I've done but you, yooou dooo. Bleed one more time for me because my heart is filled with loneliness, bleed one more time for me because the struggles the world are smoldering around me. And this world is full of loneliness. Life hits me again. It's suffocating me. Please bleed one more time for me; Cause you bleed all the time for me and I will bleed for you because I'm not like you just let me die and you can rest in piece without the burden of trying to stop me...

You listen to me all the time and I listen to your voice and you gaze at me while I glance at you the other way and listen to your words of compassion that I ignore...

My dreams are full of sins, dreams you could never envision and will scar you mind forevermore. Why can't my walls fall down for you to see me clear, wait they are it's your walls that won't come down. It's hard to tell the light from the dark so you must of thought the same about me.

I'm soo sorry, soo sorry. I wish I never met you I wishI never met you. You desvser someone better than me so let go and find someone better than me. You deserve better times than the ones you had with me, made you sufferbecause of me. I'm drench in blood and sin you don't deserve this so leave me... I'll cherish what you tried to derived me from. But it's too late for me now... So no matter what I said or done I would always love you and remember you showed me love and that I could never forget nor forgive because it was a endowment I can't give back but share only with you... so good bye as my last breath gives... I want you to be forever happy and forget about me, I always loved you but it's time for me to leave to the other realm...don't' shed tears for me I don't deserve your tears...

so good bye......................................................

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