With My Last Breath

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: War and Military  |  House: Booksie Classic

Just a short story I wrote about a man in the Vietnam War.

With My Last Breath

The HU-1A Helicopter shook as the Rocket Propelled Grenade struck the tail rotor and the giant bird being to spin faster and faster then struck the ground with a loud crash. Private First Class Jack Fame crawled out of the wreckage and laid his back against the shell of the helicopter. Everywhere around him bullets snapped and popped off the ground, he checked the magazine of his M-16A1. He had half a clip pulse 1 more 20 round magazine, not a lot. He now looked down at his body and saw his clothes were bloody and dirty, but he was unhurt. Everyone else, Sergeant Burns, Jimmy and the rest, all lay dead inside the helicopter.

He stood to run and get away from the crash before the North Vietnamese got to the position, but as he stood he felt a horrible pain in his left leg and he fell back against the wreckage. He raised his weapon and fired athree round burst into the chest of the enemy that had shot him. Now, Jack knew he wasn't going anywhere, but he didn’t have time to think on that as he could hear more Viet Cong approaching. He raised his weapon to his shoulder and readied himself. Three of them came running out of the brush but apparently didn’t see him. He fired full automatic into the group, then stopped to reload his M-16 as the last body fell. As he thumbed the release to close the weapon's action, another man ran around the corner an saw him on the ground. Both men fired their weapons at the same time, Jack felt a pain in his stomach as if someone had driven a hot nail into his gut. The pain made him drop his rifle and when he looked up he saw the man he'd shot at lying on the ground, unmoving.

Pfc. Fame looked down and saw his blood pouring out all over his uniform, he knew he was dying. Now he cared only for one thing to see her face one last time, he used his blood drenched hands to pull out the picture of his girl . She looked so beautiful; her blonde hair and blueeyes, she was smiling at the camera. She had sent him the photograph in her most recent letter to him.Jack smiled as a tear drop rolled down his cheek, the pain was mostly gone and he felt cold. He laid his head back and as the last breath left his body he whispered her name “Holly..."

Submitted: January 06, 2009

© Copyright 2021 F4ith. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:



Very good..the descriptions made it seem to the reader that they are there in the midst of battle. Great peice.

Tue, January 6th, 2009 1:51am


Thank you
I guess my point of the whole story was a man thinking about the women he loves even when hes faced with deaths hes okay because he had her in his life.

Mon, January 5th, 2009 5:57pm

Allison Michelle

that was good I liked it alot keep up all of the good writing..

Thu, March 5th, 2009 2:47pm

Hay hay

hey thats a good writing i would give you an A plus oh yeah well i got to go hottie bye

Thu, March 5th, 2009 2:58pm


Ohh, that was so sad! War is horrible when one stops to think about the insides and outs of it. Nicely written, though I would have changed a few things to give it even more realism, to make the reader feel like they're right there with Jack. Thanks for posting this. I enjoyed reading it.

Sun, May 16th, 2010 6:32pm

Venessa Jinson

Nicely written!!!

Wed, January 12th, 2011 7:27am


that's realy good !

Sat, December 3rd, 2011 12:00pm

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