This wasn’t where she wanted to be. I can see that in her eyes.
She started talking. The sound of her voice gave me goosebumps. Sherrie was a girl with a lot of problems, she started telling me how she felt when her mother died. I looked at her bag, with the same knife and cigars. She was wearing the same jacket, typical. Everyday was the same.
Sherrie came to my consultory 8 years ago. In that time she was 20 and she already was a drug addict. I know everything about her, her weaknesses and abilities.
Everyday she tells me a different story, about her life, some of them are good, but others just make me think that I’m giving advice to a psycho. Last night for example, she told me that she tried to kill herself for the fifth time. It’s really creepy how the sound of her voice changes while she gets to the part of the knife or the exact moment when the phone rings while she tries to jump from her bedroom window. Although I’ve told her to not do that, she is always trying to. Last session, we made a promise. I’ll stop smoking if she tries to settle down and keep calm.
Rain, please no.
I knew that Sherrie would be scared, she hates rain, all the bad things that happened in her life started with a raining night. She thought that Drew will break up with her. She started crying. I hate when someone cries. I used to cry a lot because of my problems, but when I became a psychologist, I realized that problems come and go and we don’t have to give importance to them. Sherrie always starts a story with “life sucks”. I try to tell her something good about her to cheer her up, like when the time that she tried prostitution, I told her that it was too cold outside for angels to fly, she laughed, she knew she was no angel, but she stopped.
I know that she can change, actually she is changing. She went through a lot and she doesn’t want to accept it and move on.
When Sherrie left I walked home and I started crying for no reason. I don’t know what is wrong with me. It feels like I’m living in two worlds at the same time.
I woke up.Terrible nightmare. I have a bad feeling about Sherrie, should I call her? Useless, she never answers her phone. I better go to her house and check.
When I arrived at Sherrie’s house, there was a note on the door saying “If you really care about me, go find me”. I called Drew, Sherrie answer the phone and she said that now he wouldn’t break up with her. She hanged. I thought she killed him. I didn’t knew what to do. I was so scared. I saw two men outside the front house, they looked like nurses, they were there since I arrived at Sherrie’s house.
I started running but they got me. What’s happening?
I entered to a white van. Why are they calling me Sherrie? Where is Sherrie?
I´m on a white room, I´m supposed to be at my consultory. I see a pinch in my arm, are they medicating me?
I have a lot of questions in my head. I start screaming. A nurse come to the room and tries to calm me. Too late, I get out the room and start running. Where am I?
What happened to Sherrie? Where is She? I kept running and I realized I was on a sanitarium, but why? I got out, I better find Sherrie. I think her house its two blocks away, I can run.
When I arrived at Sherrie’s house there was no note on the door, Is she there? I start knocking the door and a boy opens. Who is he? He told me that he didn’t know her. I called a taxi and I went to my consultory, maybe she is there.
When I got there, the door was closed. I started screaming “Sherrie”. A woman opens the door, I don’t know her, why is she here?
She calls me Sherrie. I’m not Sherrie. She says she is my psychologist, impossible. I’m Amy Dawes, wait… if I’m Amy Dawes why is she using my name?
This is absurd. I’m a psychologist, I don’t need a psychologist. She might be crazy. She starts telling me stories to make me believe something that it’s not true.
I’m really living at two worlds at the same time, this girl is confusing me. I’ m really sure I’m not Sherrie but what about her house? Where is she? Being a psychologist twists your mind. So this crazy woman won’t stop talking, lets listen to her to make her stop.
She says she was my psychologist before my family put me on the sanatory, because doctors said I was crazy and I was a problem when I’m not medicated. I still don’t believe her. She also says that I was dreaming! But that is impossible because I remember everything about my life, we started arguing. I needed to smoke. Crap. I broke Sherrie’s promise. She started to calm me and she told me that was the same promise we made when I was 20.
Wait… What? I’m not going to believe this crazy girl. I’m out of here.
When I was getting out of the consultory, I fell asleep.
I woke up at Sherrie’s bed, she was by my side. We started talking and she told me that she killed Drew; she buried him on her backyard. I help her to fix the grass.
We went to my consultory and the crazy woman wasn’t there, I knew she was lying. Sherrie told me to keep the secret and she told me the macabre way that she killed him. I told her to stop. I started to tell her what happened yesterday and she told me that I was dreaming, yesterday we were here and she started telling me about the fifth time that she tried to kill herself.
I left my consultory running and I realized that I´m confusing days, I was in a sanatory yesterday, I was “Sherrie” yesterday, not “Amy”. This is really confusing, what if everytime I go to sleep, I found myself in a different time? Impossible, that just happens in movies. Who am I now?
I look myself in the mirror and I can´t notice the difference between Sherrie and Amy, actually they both had the same issues. This is driving me crazy, I better go to my house.
“ LAST THING I WANT TO HEAR BEFORE I DIE… Boom” –It´s simple, you just pull the trigger and stop the pain.
This is scaring me, I don’t want to sleep anymore, I don’t want to get in trouble. What should I do?
This is Sherrie Wedstong’s diary, she was a drug addict, she didn’t just killed “Drew”, her father. She committed a lot of crimes, but she wasn’t in jail. Why? Because she was crazy. She made people believe that she was dreaming and she wasn’t aware of what she was doing. She killed herself on January 23rd 2009, the same day that she killed her father, she left this page of her diary next to a burned book.
© Copyright 2016 fabianachavez. All rights reserved.