bullshit, i guess

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Editorial and Opinion  |  House: Booksie Classic
How i see life. An essay that describes the perspective of a perfectly normal but "bored" 15 years old girl who has nothing to loose. Trust me, the view isn't great from up here though.

Submitted: July 15, 2012

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Submitted: July 15, 2012





I know that summer is a time when I am supposed to have fun, enjoy the beach and the sand, take my mind off of school and education; but it’s not, at least not me. Today, as I was reading a perfectly and amazingly verbose book of Paulo Coelho, a man whose books are full of words of sage, I realized that as I grow up, I become more mature. I am not going to lie and say that I didn’t have the time of my life at the beach with my friends, I did, but I am not going to lie either about the fact that I haven’t stopped thinking about “learning” ever since I took my vacation. And let me be clear, by learning, I don’t just mean the normal lessons about verbs and grammar and vocabulary; -as a matter of fact, I haven’t thought about those “things” in a while- I mean lessons about life. I am 15 years old, I know that writing an essay about “life” isn’t really “healthy” for me, because I still didn’t face everything, I still didn’t go through every situation, but I have eyes, and I have a heart, that actually feels, that feels the spark in my friends eye when he wants to cry, without a reason. I have those things, and I’m grateful, and even though I still didn’t go through everything, I’m living with people who did, so here’s my idea of “life”:  

the world has never been as divided as it is now, what with religious wars, genocides, a lack of respect for the planet, economic crisis, depression, poverty, with everyone wanting instant solutions to at least some of the world's problems or their owns. And things look only bleaker as we head into the future. Graduates leave university and can’t find a job. Old people reach retirement and have almost nothing to live on. Grownups have no time to dream, struggling from nine to five to support their families and pay for their children's education, always bumping up against the thing we all know as "harsh reality". I am not afraid to say that I am a sad person, I bet you are too. We all are. in fact, I’m going to tell you what you feel, you feel that nothing you have learned has put down roots, that while you're capable of entering the magical universe, you cannot remain submerged in it. You feel that all of this may be nothing but a fantasy dreamed up by people to fend off their fear of death. And unfortunately, I hate this fantasy, and I don't feel like talking to the universe today, I just want the men at my side to give me the answers I need. And when they do, they all say the same. "In magic -and in life-there is only the present moment, the now, you can’t measure time the way you measure the distance between two points. Time doesn’t pass. We human beings have enormous difficulty in focusing on the present; we're always thinking about what we did, about how we could have done it better, about the consequences of our actions, and about why we didn’t act as we should have. or else we think about the future, about what we're going to do tomorrow, what precautions we should take, what dangers await us around the next corner, how to avoid what we don't want and how to get what we have always dreamed of". "Our life is a constant journey, from birth to death, the landscape changes, the people change, our needs change, but the train keeps moving. Life is the train, not the station". "The world is being created and destroyed in this very moment. Whoever you meet will reappear. Whoever you lost will return, don't betray the grace that was bestowed on you. Understand what is going on inside you and you will understand what is going on inside everyone else". "Hell is what we look back during that fraction of a second and know that we wasted an opportunity to dignify the miracle of life. Paradise is being able to say at that moment: I made some mistakes, but I wasn’t a coward. I lived my life and did what I had to do".

I SAY THIS IS "BULLSHIT", or at least some of it. Life shouldn't be that neither complicated nor verbose, at least not to 15 years old, who can only-when I have to- describe life using a word, I use "???" which means "shit" in Arabic.

© Copyright 2018 Fadila safwat. All rights reserved.

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