A BEAUTIFUL DREAM

Nabila

I do understand the pain of losing a dear one and living without that person

ValeriyaPonomar

I know the pain of losing someone you love. It isn't easy and the grief never ends, it just becomes more bearable. I too have had dreams with the one I lost and they hurt more than memories because they seem so real. Good job!

city-lights

Awwh such a sad and emotional poem. I understand what its like loosing someone you love. Very beautiful and powerful poem. Good job!

Elizabeth Smit

It's a beautiful poem!Here and there a couple of grammar errors, for egg. "she *make me close" should be *made. But keep on writing, you have real talent.

fantasy87

Aw, this is a sweet poem. Is this from experience? This is a wonderful piece and I will definitely read more of your work. :) -Fantasy

Sahar Ahmad

A great and emotional poem. It was warm and relaxing. I enjoyed it but noticed just a few mistakes in the end. Read it and you will find them.

Umang

So lovely poem. Heart touching!

Miss Melodramatic

Hi Fahmida. There are a few mistakes I found: firstly, when you're describing the dream I think you should stick to either past or present tense, 'much I tried to make it clear' doesn't make sense, 'I found my foot stepping aside' doesn't really make sense either -it sounds like the protagonist doesn't have any control over their own body. If that's what you mean then I think you should say that the person's body is moving on its own before that. It should be 'Though it was blurred', I think 'She make me close' should be something like 'She pulled me close' instead, it should be 'wept' not 'weeped' and 'I stuttered' instead of 'I was stutter', I think 'Suddenly my eyes got open' should be 'Suddenly my eyes were open' or 'flew open', 'that will rolled' should be 'that rolled' and finally, 'fed' should be 'fade'. Now that that's out of the way, I really love the tragedy of this poem. You set the scene well for this theme as well. Well done. -Danni

angelique30

What a sad and emotional poem and I know and understand what this feels like. This is a really nice and beautifully written poem that so many can connect with thank you for sharing :)

Bella Writing

Well done :) sad, emotional but also hopeful. I like it! :)

Sahar Ahmad

Good poem. I like it that you always use realistic themes. Just noticed a few mistakes. In the 11th line, I think it should have been she brings me close instead of she make me close. I think the beauty of a poem is its flow. However, I noticed a change in tenses. I feel she weeped and I was stutter. You are using feel (present tense) and was (past tense) in one verse. I think it could be I saw her weeping and I stuttered. Next verse: suddenly my eyes got open. I think you can make it; In a moment all was lost,
For my eyes did decide to open.
It was a dream, such a beautiful one
Or it can simply be: in a second, I opened my eyes/ my eyes got openED.
Later, you have written so beautiful dream, where I think such a beautiful fits better. Then I think instead of last word, it should be last words. And in the third last line I think you meant fade instead of fed. In my opinion, the last lines should be : Because this the best dream, I have ever had. Other than that, I noticed that in many places you have changed the tense. Do not change it unless it is a requirement. Choose on tense and write the poem in that, so, pl proof read it. However, I loved how you wrote she is dead. Like you deadpanned it. That sounds so real and smart. A bold touch to a sensitive poem made it a billion times better. I felt the poem and related to it. I lost a brother and my best friend too. :( Great poem, though. I hope you do not take offense that I pointed out the mistakes. xoxo

Sharfaa Adams

I just lost a family recently so I can relate to these words.
Absolutely beautiful

Alezzah

Great poem!
It's sad but it's amazing at the same time, I liked it too much
well done ^^
~ sW 12 ~

RonaldWrites

I gave it a like and cherished it :)