School chair

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic


A humorous short story in the point of view of a school chair. Curious as to what your school chair thinks of you? Read this and get an idea!

Submitted: July 01, 2018

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Submitted: July 01, 2018

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Its that time of year again. I have to sit through boring classes and hear the same lesson 6 hours a day. This is so unfair why do i have to be a dumb old chair in a classroom. I get sat on every day by students, sometimes they even have the audacity to let out their putrid gas right on me. Humans are such disgusting beings I can't even explain all the horrors I've been through over the years of me being a decent chair in terrible school full of disgusting humans. I mean just look at me I'm gorgeous i have four legs and I'm a beautiful midnight blue and i get treated with zero respect. People kick me and throw me around like I'm nothing. Oh, and trust me i do try to fight back when i can, it's easier when people have long hair, then I can grab ahold of it and yank it out. I like to keep those hairs as souvenirs but of course, this school has janitors at night who yank my precious treasures from me.

Sometimes i get girls who sit on me that can't even cover their own butts like damn it people i don't want your nasty germs all over my beautiful figure. Honestly, i wouldn't mind being a chair if i had it as good as my long distant cousin who works at a movie theater. All he does every day is watch movies it's fantastic and since most of the week it's not busy he hardly ever gets a nasty butt on his seat. Every now and then the kids feed him popcorn, oh how i would love to try some popcorn. But of course, I couldn't be that lucky i had to be a chair in a dumb old school forced to see the horrors that kids stick under my friend table. Like, come on man that's disrespectful throw your gum in the trash. I guess it could always be worse though, at least I'm not a toilet. Those poor guys have to go through so much s*** every day and they can't do a thing about it.

I heard that sometimes us chairs get to leave the classroom it's the only thing any of us look forward to, to one day get taken out of the classroom. I wonder where they go maybe after years of torture they send us somewhere nice to spend the rest of our days. I hope i get to go to colorado I heard it's pretty ¨dank¨ over there, as the kids say nowadays. For now though i have to stay in this classroom listen to these boring lessons and deal with the fact that i have several unsanitary a**es sit on me every day. I can't wait for summer vacation again that's when the real fun happens. I assure you us chairs and tables know how to throw some wild parties.

Well until the day comes that I get to leave this god awful place I assure you I will never stop pulling hair for equality. Goodnight.

 


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