This should never ever happen.

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic
It was on my other profile under the author 'UNKNOWN USER' but my profile will not work properly, so I've uploaded it on to this account! & yes it is true.

Submitted: February 09, 2011

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Submitted: February 09, 2011

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When you think .. When you think, right! That your life couldn’t seriously get any worse, somehow the thing that you knew would actually come, comes. Making you feel like you not even worth living anymore and every breath you take is a waste of the time, making you feel so little that you don’t even care about the things that you do and the things that used to make you happy. Things that you say hurt the people that you love and need around you to help you through it making you loose a one you love one by one. Even your self image drops by 1000000000s as you cant even be bothered to brush your hair, you just have the effort to move from one space so you end up sitting there endlessly for hours, the hours seem like they are centuries as the less sleep you get each night just because of that one man in your life you though you could trust. You actually admit that you are too scared to leave your own house. For years you believed that it was normal until the day you find out about how wrong it is, as he shouldn’t even be doing it, you do it anyway because your to scared to say no because of what he will do next, you feel you have no choice, yours and his secret as he tells you, of course he is the one you should trust and when your little you think its because he loves you. You sit there and hear the screams from your mom as he hits her, you even see it happen most times as he don’t care who he hurts, after its over you quickly run to your mom with blood pouring and her holding where he has hurt her, then you look round and he’s got a smug grin on his face, what do you do? The same smug grin as he had on his face the whole time he does things to you, your too weak to move so you lie there while he hurts you, but for some reason no words come out your mouth. There comes a time in your life when you cant hold something in anymore, however much it actually hurts inside, although it may not be the best time at all, you have to let it out. Even though it means getting involved with the people who you never thought you would have to, the Police! You think your life is just no sense, numbness is all you feel as you sit there telling them what happened in detail, answering the same questions over and over again. Time to cry that hard that your eyes are stinging, even with a splash of cold water, you cant feel it. But you have to pick up the courage to tell someone what had happened, the things that should of never happened in a whole lifetime, but tell him that. The day him and your mom split up, is the best day of your life ever, because you now he cant hurt you and her no more, well that’s what you think, instead you get any sharp object you come into contact with and slice away at your skin until the pain goes away until the next time you need to do it. With each cut you make into your flesh, the less pain you feel. Think to yourself? Why? Why the hell am I wrecking my life even more than it already is. Its time to get him back as much as he's hurt you. And yet he denies it still, I HATE him with all my heart, I am surprised I still even have a heart to care from, because after what he put me through. I admit to all of you that it has been so difficult to hide how I am feeling and you lot would of never thought of me going through it, because of the way I act, a normal teenage girl who goes to college, but everyone has there secrets, some bigger than others. But what after that man done me I have to live with it for the rest of my life, thinking about it every second of the day, no wonder I cant trust no one. From the last time I wrote what I was feeling I was at college, now I have nothing to keep my mind occupied on, other than this. Stressing over college work. I think that was actually one of the things that helped me through it. It's the 09th june 2010 now and yesterday I actually had the sickest thought in my mind. I thought maybe if I hadn't told the truth and gone to the police, everything would be okay? Or would it. I would have a dad, and a family. But now what do I have? Nothing! No one in his family believed me? Wooooo he's their golden boy though isn't he as he always have been, he would never stoop that low. A thing that got me gripping my teeth together and stopping me from screaming was they lied. “no he didn't. No he wouldn't” yes. They are the things they said to the police. I can tell you this, the amount of times my mom had gone to my nans after he had given her a black eye, or punched her in the ribs was unbelievable. She even took us there when he would hit her after a night out drinking after we would go sit outside a service station so he couldn't find us. They knew exactly what he did to her. They knew what he was like. But instead of telling the truth they'd rather lie over and over again. For what? To keep their reputation up. My head is totally screwed. One day he will get what's coming to him, even if I end up locked away for life for it. He's messed with my life, my head, my heart and he also took my childhood away from me, which I will never ever be able to get back. I know for a fact I'm not the only teenage girl who has been through this, because there are quite a few of us who have it happen to us, thing is: we are all to scared to say something to someone even though it is the best thing to do, we are scared what people think, if people will blame us somehow? Who cares what people think, you deserve a life full of laughter and happiness, and relationships and broken hearts, partying out with friends, holidays, exploring new places, a good career etc. we deserve it all, but first you need to do what's right. I know what your thinking now, “its not that easy to tell someone” Think! I waited till I was 16 to tell anyone, I was drunk when I blurted It out to a friend from work. A big mistake I made, but it was the best thing I ever did because I got it off my chest. I'm not trying to make it sound like its a good thing to say and for you to be happy about it. But I want to help you make the correct decision to stop it happening to others.


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