Losing me

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
The effect of love on the individual

Submitted: August 04, 2008

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Submitted: August 04, 2008

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I fell in love and in the process lost all concept of me. I began to be the woman you wanted me to be-that image which you conceived in your mind and began to carve as your masterpiece within the years of our being together. Then one morning I awoke, not recognizing the woman that I had become.
 
And so the struggle began to regain myself-a long, arduous struggle. A tug of war actually while you keep hanging on to the woman, your creation, your masterpiece, created while I was sleeping. Well, sleeping beauty has awakened from a long sleep. The only difference was there no prince charming and no happy ever after.
I effectively plunged into a life of depression and accusations from you. I realize now that I love you but am no longer in love with you. I hate the person that I have become and to fall in love with you once more, I need to find the woman I have lost.
And so my search begins…………
 
This search brings with it inner turmoil which cannot be described. I need to embark on a journey of “re-finding” myself. Where would I begin and where would this journey lead? Would I be satisfied with the eventual outcomes when I had reached my destination? How would I know when I reached my destination?
 
If you need to change who I am, then I am not the person you want. Changing me to please you will alter the essence of my being. I will no longer feel centered, or whole. I am not ornamental.
I am a person who will love, live and share with every fibre of my being in the only way I know. In allowing me to grow with you, you will see through my eyes, feel with my heart, and know my mind. We will truly be one coin with two different but bonded sides. Why would we not want this? Why would you want to turn me into a shadow of my former self?.
 


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