How It All Happened

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
A letter from father to son, letting him know why things are the way they are. Things started off as everybody would have hoped and dreamed in theire personal lives, but then things take a 180 degree turn for the worst after losing a parent.

Submitted: June 02, 2011

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Submitted: June 02, 2011

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Its nothing but grey clouds today. Looks like even the sky is sad.
Should I really be feeling this way? But make no mistake, just as the sun is sure to come out, sooner or later, my mood will change and I’ll be full of smiles again. I guess you wondering why I’m feeling down right? Sure thing, I’ll tell you why... Pay very close attention.
 
Truth be told, iv been feeling this way for a while now, and Iv managed to keep all these feelings under control… UNTIL NOW.
 
What’s changed you ask? Well, there was a point not too long ago in my life were everything was going as good as it could have been. Maybe it could have  been better, who knows, but I was content with things as they were. I didn’t want or need anything else. What ever I didn’t have, I didn’t miss cause I didn’t need it.
 
At this point, I have a good job, a good wife, a car and a house in a good area to live in. We have no kids… Still a young couple, and only been married for three months. Although the discussion about kids did come up, we were still uncertain if we were ready to have any kids just yet. We spent lots of time just talking to each other, and evenings laying on the couch in each-others arms watching movies until bedtime, and those were enjoyable evenings, even if I may say so myself. Our movie evenings would often lead to us making love, which was great for the both of us as well.
 
One morning I get a phone call whilst at work, it was my receptionist, who informed me that it was the wife. I answer the call with excitement and things got even better when, midway through the conversation, the wife tells me that she thinks she’s pregnant. She had taken three pregnancy tests and all three showed her being pregnant. It was great news for me because although this is not something we had expected, I was starting a family with the woman I loved with all of my heart.
I took the rest of the day off, and hurried home to her with a glaze in my eyes, like a kid opening a present on his birthday.
 
I pulled into the driveway, and there she was, standing by the door with a worried look on her face. I swear I have never seen anything more beautiful as her at that very moment. I jumped out the car and the both of us kept our eyes focused on each other as I walked toward her. As I got close enough to touch her, she bursts into tears. I pull her close to my chest, tell her that I love her, and that everything was going to be fine. I tell her to cheer up, we’re finally starting a family together and this was the beginning of a new chapter in our lives. I still remember the smile on her face after I said that.
 
It was a back and forth conversation on which of our parents should get the news first, and we finally decided that we should invite both our parents over for dinner and break the news to them together, which was the logical thing to do... So that’s what we did. Our parents were as excited as we were, if not more, and even threw around a couple of name suggestions. It was really an exciting period in our lives and I fell deeper and deeper in love with Mrs. Evelyn James as the days, weeks and months went.
 
Technology was advancing and it was possible to see the gender of your baby before it was born. So I had been training for the day Evelyn would give birth to our son. We decided we would name him bradleigh. Everything she needed for the hosital was in a bag at the entrance of the front door so that when the time came, it wouldnt be something that we would have to look for, or leave behind because as advanced as technology was, it couldnt tell you the exact moment when you should expect the baby. 
 
It was a Wednesday evening, 20th October 1999 and we had just finished having supper when Evelyn said that her water had broke. I panicked a little, but drew my composure and got her quickly to the car. I had the bag in the backseat and made my way to the hospital. We had been to a couple pregnancy sessions, so Evelyn knew exactly how to space out her breathing. Meanwhile I called Dr. Kabir Singh to let him know that the baby was on the way and that we would be on our way to the hospital. He said that he would meet us there.
 
On arrival at the hospital, I left Evelyn in the car and ran inside to request a wheelchair for her and to let them know that she was expecting our baby boy. A nurse, Jennifer, rushed out to help me get her into the maternity ward. She gave Evelyn some anesthetic as instructed by Dr. Kabir to ease the pain she was feeling. I had my camcorder with me and recorded the whole birth. At 19:35 on that very evening, Bradleigh took his first breath, and to my delight, he was perfectly healthy. I was instructed to leave the room, and was so excited about being a father, I didn’t even ask any questions as to why I would have to do that or more importantly, how my wife was doing.
 
I sat in the waiting room with our parents, laughing and planning, until Dr Kabir came and requested to have a word with me in private. He had a depressing look on his face and the news he gave me shattered my world into a million different pieces. Due to some complications during the birth, Evelyn didn’t make it... I looked at him stunned, hoping that he was joking with me and tell me that I could go into the room and see my wife, the mother of my only child, but there was some seriousness in his face and I could tell that he wasn’t joking. As devastating as that was, all I could think of was, how on earth do I survive without her in my life? and how do I raise Bradleigh all on my own???
 
I couldn’t stop crying as I broke the news to our parents. That was the day everything changed. As happy as I was to have bradleigh in my life, I felt incomplete without Evelyn and a part of me wished to have her around me, even if it was just so that I could tell her how much I loved her. I became despondent in many aspects of my life. So much so that the company I worked for had no choice but to let me go. The pain in my heart left me helpless as I watched my world slowly deteriorate. I couldn’t seem to get myself out of the depression I felt and Evelyn’s parents one day came to take Bradleigh to live with them until I could get back up on my feet ,and be the father Evelyn would have needed me to be.
 
Its been twelve years already, and I still miss her everyday. I wake up in the morning expecting to find her next to me, and cant help but cry when I realize that she isn’t, and never will be.
It’s the 20th of October 2011. Bradleigh is twelve years old and I’m writing this for him so that one day he would understand why things are the way they are.
 
Son… I wish you nothing but the best in your future. Happy birthday, and may you see many more. I know you don’t really know me because I’ve been away from you for so long, but  I want you to know that I’m proud of you, and your mother would have been too.
 
Love Peter


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