My voice comes out trembling but loud as it begins to break free, “You don’t know what you do to me; you don’t know how you make me feel! Everything you say, it gets to me, it changes me—I want to be perfect for you and even when you hurt me, I let go of my morals and sacrifice my beliefs for you! You hurt me and hurt me and hurt me, over and over again and I let you because somewhere in my mind I tell myself that I am doing this for us…” My words trailed off as my censored tears began to fall.
You looked at me for a second, as if I had just smacked you in the face—a look of shock had replaced the smug smile, “Why? Why do you let me get away with it?”
I knew the answer. I knew and for a second I hesitated. I thought to myself how I sounded like one of those ignorant girls who continue to let a guy break them down for only one reason, “I love you. I love you and no matter how much I don’t want to and how much I want to get away from you sometimes… I still love you. I hate it. I hate myself for loving you.”
I watched as you melted back into your seat. I saw you lose yourself in your thoughts. I never knew I could overwhelm you. I never knew I could make you see. “I’m sorry… I… I would never want you to feel this way, I didn’t realize—I…” You stopped, and I could see you trying to stay strong, trying to keep yourself together. “I love you and I don’t want you to hurt under any circumstance.”
For the first time, I felt the sincerity in your voice; I knew, for the first time, that I wasn’t foolish and there was something the save, something worth salvaging. I knew you were my soul mate, and only we could break each other down.
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