A Prison Like No Other

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Literary Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

"A Prison Like No Other" is simply something I've been playing around with while working on two other short stories, "Isabelle's Memory" and "Adrien's Nightmare". Hope you enjoy.
The style I used to write "A Prison Like No Other" was based on a Southern individual's dilect who has spent most their life in a Correctional Facility. Although, a Correctional Facility isn't actually where the story takes place.

Swings dangle by rusted chains. Fields lay quiet, releasing their secrets only when the cool breeze blows. However, beneath these prison walls, every shadow absorbs the smallest bit of happiness, hope, that still lingers in the youngest of residents.

When the new residents first arrive, they're given a station (a single chair and a tiny desk, where they're expected to do all their work). For those who misbehave, or don't fit a prescribed mold, it's a trip to the warden to straighten them out. Hell, they're not even premitted to speak without raising a hand, and receiving permission from the headguard in charge of their cell. Although, this isn't the worst thing the new residents must learn. They must learn that in order to be free, they must complete a sentence that feels like a lifetime when they're but five, or six, years old.


Submitted: April 06, 2009

© Copyright 2020 Fleur Elizabeth. All rights reserved.

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Comments

Jonathan11714

I liked it very much, although it did give me a very morbid feel for your plot, in fact, I dont even know where your plot is going. The setting is perfect, but you have to give reason for it, I think you started to do this at the end of your summery, but I don't like the fact that the children have to follow and obey an unethical and cruel system in order to gain freedome rightfully thiers. In my opinion, there should be something to clash with this, something to fight it.


Still, it was great

Mon, April 6th, 2009 6:28am

Author
Reply

Yet each of us must undergo the same type of prison before we ourselves are free. Ah, the world of indoctrination. It should be destroyed, but for future generations to learn, there must be an organized version of it.

Sun, April 5th, 2009 11:34pm

Jonathan11714

Thank you, that cleared that up a little for me. If you have the time, I too have only just posted some of my work. Just a thought, althogh, I must admit, my plot is not clear in the begining. It was a twenty minute glue fest, lol

Mon, April 6th, 2009 7:01am

Author
Reply

Sometimes throwing together weird tidbits of ideas we come up with can sometimes lead us into finding an excellent story and characters.

Mon, April 6th, 2009 1:57am

aria aiedail

omg, sounds like school....

Mon, April 6th, 2009 1:49pm

Author
Reply

Someone who read it and nailed it. Ding, we've a winner. That's exactly where the prison is and what's I'm speaking of.

Mon, April 6th, 2009 7:28am

AMarlee

Wow. . . not quite sure how to describe what feeling I have or what I'm thinking. Interesting. . . a morbid feel, but also a feel like this is truly reality. . . Good work :)

Mon, April 6th, 2009 2:19pm

Author
Reply

See the comment response for "Isabelle's Memory". Thanks again.

Mon, April 6th, 2009 7:37am

angellynn

Blame it on the parents.. Everyone does. This hits home and my heart. Thank you for bringing this to my attention.. It is'nt something I enjoy remembering.. But something I feel the need to share. A confession persay...

I spent many of my childrens younger years working in a bar. I was young wild and going through a divorce. Because of my stupidity and the fact that I thought the world revolved around me.. I lost custody of my oldest two children. The day before I was to give them over to their dad. I found out I was pregnant with my third child. The divorce left me with nothing and I was forced to move back in with my parents.. Who to say the least.. were not only disappointed with me, but was caring enough to let me.. I asked myself many times.. What the hell is wrong with me? I was'nt brought up that way.. In my mind I did'nt want to act the way I did. I tried so hard to put the blame on someone else or something else.. When in reality its our choice to do what we do.. It does'nt matter how you were raised or what kind of lifestyle you had.. Its what you choose and feel in your heart that controls your decisions in life.. So who's to blame? This type of behavior has no age limit..I did'nt raise my child that way. The same thing that draws one to act as I did.. Is the same crap that parents for generations have repeated.. I did'nt raise my child that way. After giving birth to my third child and still living with my parents.. My mom and dad were granted custody of my son.. I couldn't wait to hit the bar scene again.. I was trapped in my pregnacy for too long and couldn't wait to get out.. I asked myself again.. What the hell is wrong with me? My son was nine years old when he had his first run in with the law.. ( The son my parents raised ). He was the light of my dads life. My son took advantage of my parents love and began manipulate them. ( Wonder where he got that from )? From the age of nine to when he just recently was released from prison last year. My son stayed in trouble with the law. He was born in 1981. His grandfather died in 1993. At the age of 12, my son began to use drugs and alchol. Whats to blame? His mother the alcholic? Or the fact his grandfather died. The person that cared about him more than anything.. Theres two reasons right there.. So I ask again.. Who or whats to blame? My son continued to live with my mom. My younger brother who still lived with her, helped out with raising my son..(Thank you Eugene!)My son wouldn't go to school, he stayed out all night. He began to come home with things he couldn't have possibly bought.. He had no job. He began to still from his grandmother, my brother and me.. Am I to blame? I did'nt raise him! At the age of 17. My son was arrested for breaking an elderly mans arm while trying to steal his money. ( his social security income). He was'nt raised that way! He spent 4 years for that crime at a correctional facility. My first visit to see him was very hard.. Seeing him through a 4x24 inch glass window with phones that did'nt work was pretty upsetting. When I saw his eyes.. I knew then who and what was to blame.. The hurt and remorse I felt that day.. Changed my life forever. The who to blame was me.. His mother! The what to blame.. Was how I chose to live my life.. It was'nt his fault.. Every child has someone they look up to. Some look up to their father.. My son did'nt have one! Some look up to their grandfather.. My son lost his! My son chose to look up to me.. But I was'nt there for him.. Am I still to blame? Of course I am! My son is doing great now.. He just got married in January to a wonderful girl. Their planning to have a child of their own. I have been married to my second husband since 1990 and I am very happy.. Could this change in my son be a result in my change of life style? You darn tooting! Children rely on us to guide them to where they will end up in life.. It took me a long time to realize the world did'nt revolve around me.. My children did..

I'm sorry for the long responce to your piece. I just felt I had to let this out.. I hope I did'nt open a door that was better left locked.

Thank you!

Angellynn

Mon, April 6th, 2009 2:38pm

BettyRawrs

omg sad the feeling were only darkness is :) :( but omg great work :)

Mon, April 6th, 2009 2:50pm

angellynn

My bad! Still should have been steal.. So sorry!
Your piece is really good!

Angellynn :)

Tue, April 7th, 2009 12:56pm

tastetheblood

Woot I had to read this twice to get it first time I didnt get it .I was'nt paying attention.It makes school seem creepy its really quite good school can feel like a prison some times .

Mon, April 13th, 2009 4:10am

Hannah Castello

Though it is really short, it gave me the morbid feeling and empathy to the prisoners-though the reasons why they are there is not elaborated. Your work is AAAMazing!!! Gave it a "Like it" vote!

Mon, April 20th, 2009 1:37am

Author
Reply

Thank you for the vote. However, I have received numerous requests as to why the prisoners are there. They aren't truly prisoners as it isn't really a prison. It's a school, and what school isn't complete without students to which are there to be indoctrinated into the world of one thought. Students become robots and cease to be humans behind the walls of schools throughout the country. Day-in, day-out, they sit through the same mondain stupidity without being allowed a single thought of their own. Hence, the prison like no other. It is a prison of the mind.

Sun, April 19th, 2009 8:49pm

laila

Gawd. When I read it... I was like... Prison, swings? but then I realized with the raising hands thing. Oh. School,. Apt description!
Teachers...prison guards.
Sigh
Well written.

Sun, April 26th, 2009 8:23am

KazWay

The metaphor for school fit perfectly. I feel that way all the time. Makes me feel rebellious, since I can't just let them rule me. My school is ridiculously strict, and it makes me angry most of the time.

I hate the warden(principal). He's the worst of them all.

Tue, July 21st, 2009 2:40am

Author
Reply

thank you for commenting.

Sat, June 5th, 2010 6:37pm

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