You'll laugh so hard yaz gut'z will hurt!

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

It's a poem about the name of the first sailboat I lived on. The name was so funny that a picture of it was in a bunch of different sail mag's anywhooos come has a laugh on your old Captain Mike

I was sleeping in bed one sunday morn
and I was dreaming of Islands and the trees they adorn
I was on the bow of a sailboat
looking thru a brass scope

checkin out the ladies on the beaches
with skin that looked like peaches
and though it wasn,t a quater to eleven
I thought for sure I must be in heaven

then all of a sudden WACK!!!!
everything went black
I said "This ant where I am!"
thats the bottom of my frying pan

being held my wife
who I called the antichrist
was waking me up early that day
in the most hurtful of ways

she yelled"go dig a darn ditch
you good for nothing son of a B____!"
well my face was still stinging
and the frying pan was a swinging

so I grabbed my coffee pot
and said "thanks a fricking lot!"
I heard the frying pan hit the floor
as I ran out the front door

well with my coffee and my thong
I got the newspaper off the front lawn
I looked in the window and saw my wife,s fat abs
then I turned the paper to the want ads

now I don,t know if it floats
but theres a fella in here selling his sailboat
it did seem strange
cause "that things in my price range!"

then without a doupt
I got in my truck to check it out
well the owners face was angry and long!
then I realized "darn I'm still wearing my thong!"

but I did like his boat
and sure enough it did float
so I said"what the heck
hey bo will u take a check?"

within a minute I won the bid
and sail away with her I did
never looking back was not a sin
I just let the antichrist win

then to spite my old spouse
I called my boat "SHE GOT THE HOUSE!"

by Capt. Mike

Submitted: March 12, 2011

© Copyright 2021 floatingpoet. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:


Felipe Lima

I loved it. Loved it. Loved it.

Capt. Mike, tour story is so amusing like eating a chocolate mousse for a desert after an ordinary meal. This piece is funny and your writing is adorable... Sometimes, while I was reading, it feels like I knew for years and I was listening to an old friend of mine telling me what had happened last night...

I loved your story and I must confess that after reading your bio, I really simpathized with you too. You seem to be a unique and interesting person.

Congratz and keep up the good work.

Felipe Lima :]

Wed, March 16th, 2011 7:48am

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