To all the dreams that end

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic
"To all the dreams we used to share
That now ain't going anywhere
I raise my glass and drop my head
Then go back to sleep, go back to bed"

Submitted: January 08, 2012

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Submitted: January 08, 2012

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"To all the dreams we used to share
That now ain't going anywhere
I raise my glass and drop my head
Then go back to sleep, go back to bed"

I cannot deny it. I've been living in a dream. But for how long?
2010...summer, 2010. almost a year and a half, I've been living in a dream.
And all this time, the subject of that dream was you. I should have known
the dream couldn't last. wouldn't last. But I didn't want to know. Didn't want to hear.
What we had, what we shared, was too special, too unique, for me to ever see it end

then why did it end? why wasn't it meant to be? I never felt like this before, for anyone
but you. And I still love you. God, I still love you. It's not going to be easy to let go
Dammit, I still love you. Love all the things you said to me. love the way you made me feel.
Love all the plans we made for the future, love how ocmfortable we were around eachother.
I'm not a people's person. Not a social being. People think I am, but then, my mask is perfect
But you..I don't know what you did, or how you did it. but my defenses meant nothing to you.
You just walked past them, as if they weren't there. you saw me for who I really was.
and for the first time in my life, someone actually accepted what they saw. someone cared.
Someone loved me for me, not for who or what I pretended to be. I could be myself around you.
You could be yourself around me. And the bond it created, the bond we shared, only grew and grew.
Until, at some point, despite being half a planet away, we could sense eachother. could sense how the other felt.
Could sense what the other thought. Could sense when You thought of me, or when I thought of you.
All this time, all this time, we were a story billions wish for, but barely anyone has. Barely anyone even knew.
There are no words to describe what we had. Even if we'd gather all the greatest poets and writers of all ages
instead of just simple me, with not even basic writing skills, there wouldn't be a word or poem to describe this,
This this we had, this feeling we shared, and do it justice, or come even near. But then, maybe that was just me.

The dream is over now, and you're moving on. Did you feel the same I felt, or was it only me. Was it just me?
I'd like to believe, I'd love to believe, you felt the same way I did. that I wasn't alone in this all this time.
That for a moment, how briefly it may be, the fairy tale was true. the dream was true. That it wasn't an illusion.
That you loved me the way I loved you. That you felt the way I felt. that we had a future together. You and I.
That the plans we made, the plans you and I made, together, that you meant them. That you believed in them.

I'm bad with words. I'm bad with emotions, and describing them. I can only show, but there's no more chance now,
No chance at all, for me to show to you how I felt about you. Still feel about you. That I'd kiss you, anc you'd understand.
That you'd feel in my kiss all the words I couldn't speak, all the love I couldn't describe, that you're my happily ever after.
You'll always have a place in my heart. I'll always love you. Even if I find somebody else, who could make me feel,
feel even for a little bit, feel even for a short while, the way I felt being around you, being with you, every single time.
You're moving on, and so should I. There's no use staying behind in the dark, crying over what was and/or could be.
And I promised myself I wouldn't cry. That I'd be strong, and wouldn't cry. but DAMMIT, I'm crying, crying for you.
Just like you'd ignore the barriers to keep everything out, so do my tears for you ignore the barriers meant to keep it all in.


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