How I Survived Two Weeks in Paradise with the Future Dictator of the World

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
A short story about the many adventures I had in Honolulu and Kona, Hawaii.

It's actually several blog posts that I wrote on my Xanga (which you can check out at www.xanga.com/gymnastics_luver_9), so probably somewhere in there, it'll be weird and shifted to a current time-thing.

So let me ask you one question:
Are you prepared to learn how one small, seven-year-old vexation WILL be the world's future dictator? But better yet, are you prepared to learn how I survived two weeks in paradise with her?

I think not. But go ahead, read on.

Submitted: November 26, 2008

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Submitted: November 26, 2008

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Post 1:

And yes, I did just say 'Future World Dictator'. Can you ever guess who that might be?But the real question is, can you spend 2 weeks in the beautiful state of Hawaii with her? Maybe, if you justmet her. She seems exceptionally 'cute' and 'cuddly', but underneath it, when you spend at least 3 hours with her, you'll hear a lot of 'peer-peer', which is a Marathi word meaning complaints or whining. You'll also heara lot of 'budd-budd', which is, of course, another Marathi word, meaning 'extremely talkative' or 'doesn't stop talking'. Then in the middle of all this, you'll hear, "Aai! (mom) Dada (brother) slapped me for no reason!!" and a lot of, "Stop it!!", "You hate me; you think I'm a dummer-face; you want me to leave the neighborhood!", and, "Aai! Tell Dada to stop doing that!!". And when you try to knock some sense into her, "Go away, stop talking to me. I hate you, Kuka." And trust me, it gets more than annoying after a bit....

Post 2:

So how did I survive two weeks in Hawaii with Ms. Future Dictator of the World? I have no idea. But I guess you gotta get used her if you're related to her. I mean,she gets it from somebody you know, someone who lives with you,someone you love, so you kindahave to live with it.
She was overly excited about going to Hawaii the day before we left. She became unusually hyper (and when I say 'unusually', I mean beyond abnormal hyperness because she's always hyper!) and she just really started to bug everyone.
"Aai! When are we going? Stop it Dada! Aai, Dada hit me! Kuka, stop dressing so popliar!" and yes, Ididmisspell the word 'popular' on purpose; I just spelled it like she says it. I don't understand why she doesn't pronounce it correctly. Does she do that on purpose?
Anyways, I don't think Vaishu Mavshi got much sleep because of packing. And She didn't sleep until 10:00 pm, so it was pretty crazy 'till then. Our flight was at 5:00 in the morning and we had to be up by 3; I don't know how I managed it. Thankfully,we didn't wakeher upuntil at least 50 minutes before we left, so we didn't have a problem keeping her awake, and packing at the exact same time :D. The only problem about waking her up when she's fully asleep, it's hard to keep her awake.
By the time we reached the airport, she was awake, but not fully, and sleptconvineintly on myhead in the planethroughout our flight to Los Angelos. She's at her cutest when she's asleep....

Post 3:

I'm wondering always if She, Ms. Dictator, ever knows who I'm talking about...And yes, I'm talking about you, Aasu. Oh my god, she's only 7 (oh, I'm sorry, '7 1/2') but she needs to be 3 years old, and she's already passing her first phase to ruling the world!! It's our quest to stop her [dramatized pressure]. Yes, the pressure is on us; the job is up to us. Sorry for going all We-Must-Do-Something-About-It on you. Come on, Aasu; I [quote] 'less than 3 you' (haha, get it?), but come on! You gotta stop 'starting it' all the time. You're causing problems (just kidding, Aasu. But it would be nice if you were a good, normal 7 year old sometimes). It so weird how the world is on its way to being in the hands of a 7 year old. She's already sitting on top of our heads!

Anyways, back to the story. So we entered the hotel after we ate a nice lunch at the Waikiki Beach (which I later found out was man-made! Who would've thunk it?!). Our hotel was so cool! And it was a Hilton, which made it 5x better. Our room had a balcony!!! Everyone was beyond tired (except, as usual, me), and went right to napping (but not me, my nap was done on the plane)! So I decided to do some writing in the balcony....

Post 4:

....Right, now where was I? Oh yea, so I went to do some writing in the balcony. It was nice until Ms. Sleepy Head came and plopped on the chair next to me. I usually don't like to have company while writing, but that's just me...

By the way, so you won't get bored of her (which is almost physically, mentally, and, I dare say, emotionally impossible), I'll tell you a bit about Hawaii as well. Me and Nishu went surfing the very next day!! It was SOOO cool!! Then we came back and were just astonished that Aasu had actually gone into the freaking water for once. And what was even more surprising was that Vaishu Mavshi went in as well!
Okay, so the first day in Paradise wasn't exactly, what you would call, annoying, but the second day is where she started (I'm sorry, continued) to go wack. When I awoke, everyone else had already, and I found out I was her favorite sister. It was only because there was an extremely 'rare' moment where we got along...in our sleep... Aasu wasn't making the bed like she was told to; then she picked a fight with Nishu for absolutely no reason! And then, she got scolded big time. Thank you for knocking some serious sense into her, I thought. But then, I thought again and realized that it's practically impossible to knock sense into someone who wants to do things [and accomplish them] on her own. And I think you know very well what I'm talking about [world domination]. We're losing time; we've got to save our world before it gets turned into slaves of...Aasu... Oh! I shudder at the thought of it. Soon after she marries and has kids, there will be an actual population of The Aasu Species. OMG!!!!! But back to my story...

Post 5: by the way, this is where I was really mad at her, so like it's kinda creepin.

I was right about how I said Aasu will never listen to you when your trying to knock to some sense into her. Of course, the only person who really actually tries to tell her what she's doing wrong, is me. No one else ever even tries to tell her anything! I don't understand why I try. All she ever does is mimick me and make it all un-understandable. Otherwise, "Stop it Kuka!", "I KNOW!! I KNOW!!!", "Stop it!! That's not what happened. It was just for fun!!", and other crap of that sort. Somehow, anytime I try to tell her something, I'm the one who ends up getting blamed for, for making her yell, making her cry, or just making her more annoying than she already is!! Yesterday, I promised her that if she slaps, hits, kicks, screams, or shouts, that I would pinch her for every one she did. So she had hit her brother for him stealing her seat after she got up from it. He even told me it hurts! So I went and pinched her. BUT, I can't exactly control the power I in my fingers. So she started bawling like crazy. Nishu went and gave her a hug, then my brother came in and said that it's good that their getting along, but no pinching, okay? And they both said it was me. So I told both my brother and Aasu that I promised her the above, and repeated it about five times. What do I get in return?? How about, "No!! We were just hitting for fun!!"
"But Aasu, he said it hurt."
"Yea, but it was just for fun! Your mean, I hate you!!"
"Whatever Aasu. Keep being a cry baby..." And then you'll hear a scream. I went to my room and thought about how I get blamed whenever she cries, or does bad things. I decided not talk to her or worry about her for the rest of the day. It went well until she mopped me and sprayed and my bag of chips with water she used on the floor. It was disgusting. Then I thought again about my idea and came to a very reasonable blame to me by some adult: If she's doing something bad, and I'm there with her when she's doing it, and I don't do a thing about it, then I'm going to get scolded for not being mature and stopping her, right? Then when I tell them my theory, I'll be looking stupider than usual. Nothing I do ever goes right when she's in the same room as me. If I actually tried to stop her, her evil World Dominating mind will just play tricks on me. I believe she's starting to rule the world right now. One, very easily annoyed person at a time.

But back to Hawaii, am I wrong? The next few days were just as annoying as the first, but Vaishu Mavshi never gets to enjoy anything because she's policing Aasu all the time. I feel awfully bad for her. And of course, Aasu would never listen to any one who's still in grade school. She only now listens to Dada.
At least our hike up a beautiful mountain wasn't much to worry about. But then again, we all were in a group of people who also signed for the hike, so she would just "act" her maturest. It got on my nerves when she acted like she wasn't the most annoying 7 year old in the world. People didn't get to see what a dictator she is. That hike was spectacular. And those thimbleberries, which are mini versions of razzberries, were just delicious! A couple of people got to pick fresh mangoes from the many excellent trees we saw. We came across a waterfall, a gigantic one, and it was glorious!!! I felt bad for Vaishu Mavshi when we were in the car. I would be the one to sit in the middle of them so they could stop fighting, but they almost always found a way to fight anyway. And Aasu kept screaming, and screaming, and screaming. It was just way too much.

Post 6:

She wasn't too bad the next few days. But she was definitely annoying, still. Fortunately, we got through our stay in Honolulu, Oahu. And on the plane while going Kona, Hawai'i, I was more than euphoric to see that she was fast asleep, and even more euphoric to realize that she wasn't on my shoulder. Did I mention the euphoria I was feeling on that 40 minute plane ride?
When we arrived Kona, 45 minutes later, we got our check-in luggage, picked up our rental car, and were off to the Hilton Grand Vacations resort at Waikoloa Beach. While we were on our way to the hotel, it was still light so we could see all the scenery and gorgeous molten rocks all around the road. But unfortunately, as we reached Waikoloa, it was almost totally dark. You'd be surprised how quickly it gets dark in Hawaii. It usually did at around 7:00.
I was a little (well actually, I was very) skeptical about the hotel we were going to stay at in this Hilton, because Rajesh Kaka said it was a very crappy room. I knew he was joking, but he also said, very seriously, that it wasn't gonna be nearly as good as the one we stayed at in Honolulu. And Vaishu Mavshi said that it would be a timeshare... Now at the time, I had absolutely no idea what a timeshare meant, so I figured it was a totally freaky type of hotel room.
But when we arrived at Destination: Hilton Grand Vacations, I was soo surprised!!! The resort looked really spread out and not at all like the one in Honolulu. The lobby that we went to was for the building we were staying at. It was basically a concierge place. But there were two free computers that Nishu and I later found out about. And outside the lobby was one of the many pools. The concierge guy told Nishu and I that our stay at the hotel was going to be very exciting.
"I think you guys will like the lagoon that we have; it has turtles floating inside towards the middle of it. Oh yea, and there are eels, too. They're more off to the side than the center...I've seen some before.".....and blah-blah-blah-blah!!! I told Nishu it was soo obvious that he's trying to hard to impress us. He said it was working....
But enough about the concierge desks!!! After we got our Lei (a Lei is handmade fresh flower necklace), we went and got all our luggage out the car and went up to the 3rd floor. I opened the door and turned on the light and.....
"What the crap is this???!!!!! What happened?? Where are we??!!!" everyone except for Vaishu Mavshi yelled.
The room was FABULOUS. It was huge. And I didn't realize it, but it was actually like a rich apartment. We came in towards the kitchen. Which was EQUIPPED with all the utensils we needed. There was an actual dining table. And if we kept going straight we'd reach the LIVING ROOM!!!!!! The couch was pull-out and there was a nice flatscreen. And right there was a BALCONY!!!!!!!! I was sooo excited about it. Who wouldn't be?

Nishu and I got our own rooms. AND our own bathroom. The bathroom was just amazing. I loved it. Me and Nishu got our own beds and there was a tv in there too. But the master bedroom was the coolest. It was more the Master BATHROOM that was cooler, though. It was HUGE. There was a single jacuzzi tub. The shower had 4 freakin' massager jets!! I loved it!!

And Aasu was plain sleepy so she plopped herself on Vaishu Mavshi's bed. How rude...

Post 7:

After that one day in Kona (that I remember so vividly, like it was just yesterday...), Aasu was just a smudge more nicer to....well, everyone. I thought she was finally getting patience to mature. But boy, was I wrong. I mean, the last time I visited her, she still threw tantrums (well one major one), and I tried to avoid her a bit. That time, she was forced to call me 'Kuka Tai'. It was hilarious because she's so not used to it, and if she didn't say that, she would get a spanking....that was my chance for revenge. But no one ever lived up to that promise. And I promised myself that I wouldn't get an urge to hit her that day. I'm glad I lived up to my word. Every time she would make the mistake, I would say something and she'd quickly cover it up. It sucked.
But that one night in Kona. She was being extremely irritative in the car, always asking not the greatest questions, and she was VERY sleepy. Or so we thought. She kept saying she hated everyone because we were ignoring her, trying to find a way to the mall to get something to eat. She calmed down when we got there, but she was still extremely hungry. That's when I found out that she was exceptionally hungry, but I should've sensed that ages ago... Vaishu Mavshi scolded her and told her she had to eat leftover Round Table Pizza instead of our heaping helpings of Asian food. She became so sad. VMK could never take the sadness, and gave up. She ended up eating the Asian food. But we reluctantly let her. She was just supposed to be good and un-annoying the rest of the trip. I guess she lived up to that one. Maybe a little bit. But I wouldn't remember, now would I? I was to intrigued by this spectacular room (even though we stayed there for a full five days) that I didn't notice any of that.
I'm glad she was more sleepy during our tourist spots. She was less irritable. Like when we went to the Hawaii Volcano National Park. That was pretty awesome. It's the live volcano. Except, we didn't get to see it explode. :( That was an amazing site. We got to walk on sharp molten lava rocks. And we sat and watched a big steam vent. You could see the lava pouring out next to the ocean. But some weirdo payed some people $500 to risk their lives and took them on an open boat inches (or it looked like inches) away from the hot, hot lava. They went into the freaking boiling water. It was crazy and, in my opinion, retarded. That's what everyone else around us thought as well. We waited until Twilight (haha, LOVE that book. How many other Twilight fans are there?) to start recording the fantastic sight of this lava. We had to be very careful not to fumble around too much on the hardened rocks we sat on because they we extremely sharp. That's when Aasu came into this problem. She moved too much and it bothered us deeply because the camera had to be in a perfectly still position to capture the light of the lava that was so far away. The only difficulty was going back the way we came. We needed our flashlights and Aasu became cranky that nobody gave her one.

All in all, Kona was much, much, much less....destructive, if you will, than Honolulu alt.

Post 8:

So, the rest of the week, she wasn't so bad. Just annoying, still. But I wasn't that observative on her, and neither was Nishu, because we were so engrossed in this new hotel timeshare thing we were staying in. It was only the day we got there, was she so cranky, annoying, and are-we-there-yet?-ish.

We arrived in Kona, Hawaii and got our rental car. Then we drove for fifteen minutes to Waikoloa Beach. The Hilton Grand Vacations Resort was literally on Waikoloa Beach. Or part of it, really. The whole time we were driving, she kept making obnoxious unrelated comments like, "Oh, look at those white rocks on the black ones! They're so stupid!". The black rocks were the dried lava rocks. Gigantic lava rocks. I was glad to see that Hawaiians were very eco-friendly. They made messages on the black rocks with dried white corals from beaches. Messages like, "_____ ROCKS!", "Jesus loves you", "____ + ____" and other messages of that nature.
The scenery in the far background was just glorious. The mountains. The hills. The ocean view. Just beautiful. And it would've been way more beautiful without the disgustingly eww comments from someone. *AHEM* -cough cough-

When we finally did arrive at Waikoloa, it was nearing 7:00 PM and going very dark. The entrance to Hilton was lit up and there were tiki torches all over. She was being overly cranky and she was hungry.
After we checked out our room (and admired it greatly), we went to a nearby shopping plaza. We only went to the food court. We got Subway and some Asian food. When we got home, Aasu was scolded gravely for being so cranky and not telling us what she wanted to eat. She said she was 'okay' with anything. But when we got there, she started yelling at us for not getting "this" or "that".
She was then scolded and forced to be overly polite to everybody. Something she'd never done before.

This was destroying her dignity and authority. If only some people couldn't get so soft when someone started crying. The Future Dictator was forced to eat leftover pizza. Of course, after she started bawling, she had to eat the heaping helpings of Asian food.

After that day, the only annoying part of Kona, was the usual ickiness of her excessive obnoxiousness.

-RECENTLY DISCOVERED-
A true charecteristic of a future dictator: SUPER-5-YEAR-OLD POWERS: Super-strength. She picked up Reema, Her mom, me (which isn't an accomplishment; anybody can pick me up. Anybody can pick me up), Nishu, my mom, Ishita, Hershel (again, not as much an accomplishment as my mom), and almost Rohan Dada. And get this!!! She lifted Dada with her own butt!!! Crazy, right???
In the future, when she's an actual world dictator, any punishment towards us = [we are] picked up and thrown out. Literally. Anyone who knows Aasu and has annoyed her at least once, will be her personal slave in the future. I assure you.

So how exactly did I survive 2 weeks in paradise with the future dictator of the world?? I guess it was the fact I have survived her for 7 years....and counting. But I was on the verge of losing it. You have to get used to her. All the screaming...I'm still not completely used to it. And the pickiness and bossiness...I don't think anyone will get used to that.

And that is How I Survived 2 Weeks in Paradise With the Future Dictator of the World. Hope you enjoyed my story!!!!!


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