The Shakespearean Insult

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
My latest assignment in English was to write an insult email to my English teacher in a Elizabethan tone. We're studying Shakespeare (A Midsummer Night's Dream), my favorite part of the semester.

Anyways, this is mine. It's not the greatest thing, and she'll probably give me a not-so great grade because it's not exactly gripe about anything except her yelling at us. Well, what was I supposed to do? I hate insulting people on the spot like this. Plus, I love Mrs. Carlton!

I tried to make it as nice as possible without losing the point that it is still consistent with the task. I kind of liked it, so I decided to post it. (Scratch that, I really liked it. Why do I try to be modest when I'm terrible at it?)

Nonetheless, ENJOY and tell me what you think. ;) But remember to ENJOY!

Submitted: April 02, 2010

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Submitted: April 02, 2010

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Dear Lady Carlton,
Though thou art a fair, accomplished teacher of English, thou is still a puny hasty-witted malt-worm. Methinks thou giveth not too much homework, but too much clamor, wherefore we the class cannoteth be more ungrateful. In sooth, thou doeseth it for our own good, and thou threatens us quite easily, but mayhaps thou could tone it down a smidge. Thou must surely comprehendeth the clamorous behavior of thy class after the tiffin.Be not alarmed that thou’s vocal chords are so strong, and do not strain after so long a time, for I saluteth thy for being able to puteth up with all these mentally deranged children (I stilleth wonder how thy is not yet as insane) for all the working days of the week.However, the class and I doth wish thy would noteth bluster, and bellow, and yawp, and whoop, and snap so often at us.
Thanketh you.
Sincerely,
Sarika Sabnis
5th period



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