The diary of a broken hearted girl.

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
A teenage girl who looses her first love, the diary of her suffering and pain and probally what every other girl had been through.

Submitted: December 16, 2009

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Submitted: December 16, 2009

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The diary of a broken hearted girl.
10.12.09.
The text read “ I’m sorry I think I do. I’m sorry I’ve hurt you so much. Then that feeling came the feeling of my heart pumping so hard it felt like everyone on the bus could see it and hear it. I didn’t realise I was crying until the girl next to me was staring at me. I quickly wiped my eyes and looked out into the view. I felt the lump come to my throat like i had just got a penny stuck down it, i was taking deep breaths trying to get as much air as I possibly could. It was only two days ago that me and him had kissed and he told me he loved me, was that all lies? Or did it dream it? I was confused hurt and most of all heart broken. And now i had to go home and face the welcoming of my uncle who had been away for two years. Great. Perfect.
7.12.09.
I was sitting at his desk reading my book New Moon because i was in love with Jacob and Edward, and then i herd his voice and i smiled even his voice just made me smile and then him and Emma walked in and they both screamed, i laughed. “ Oh my god you scared me” Marcus said. I laughed again sorry, he then came over and kissed me on my lips something i thought i would never get bored of. “Geek” Marcus said because he saw i was reading the book. I smiled. When we got back to his his, his  sister and mum was there, hi i said with a smile on my face, maybe one day i would be apart of this family, that was my dream and i thought it was his too i was so wrong. We had dinner i loved the food his mum prepared they were Italian so the food was delicious. Marcus left me down stairs when he went upstairs to do some work, that was pretty weird normally he would tell me to go upstairs with him. Oh well. Finally i went upstairs anyway i was getting bored down stairs. I really wanted to kiss him but i didn’t want to disturb him, now when i think back i really wish i did because i didn’t realise i would have so little time with him. I just sat on his mums bed and watched him work. I remember just the day before i was going to dump him today, i didn’t think i wanted to be with him and then i saw him and bang fell straight back in love, dam. Oh well i was happy that was all that mattered right? Then easterners was on so we sat on his sofa with his mum and sister on the opposite sofa. Eastenders finished. Only half hour. Urgh i didn’t want to go home i wanted to stay with him, but that wouldn’t happen sadly. Time passed quickly so it was time to go (grunt) so i got up and i kissed his mum in the cheek and his sister “bye” i said “Thank you for dinner”. Marcus walked me to the train station and when we got the doors he kissed me and passionate kiss i ran my fingers through his hair and he pushed my body closer to his. God i loved kissing him. I really didn’t want to go home i just wanted to carry on kissing him. But then we came apart. “ Bye” he said “ love you” and me being stupid i said “I don’t love you but i like you a lot” idiot no i loved him twat! And then i was through the barriers of Ruislip Manor train station. Gone. Forever.
10.12.09
“So you have no feelings for me at all?”
“No”.
“So you feel nothing?”
“Well obviously i feel something the feelings just don’t disappear”
“So then why don’t you want to be with me?”
“Because i just fell its time to let go.”
“So you don’t want me anymore?”
“ I don’t know, i don’t think so.”
“You don’t think?”
“Yeah i don’t think so.”
“Okay then, well i guess i have to let go.”
As soon as the phone was dead the tears came i don’t want it to be over i loved him he loved me. Why did God hate me so much? There were loads of other people out there pick on the stronger people who could handle this. I was really starting to hate him. All i wanted to do now is go back in time and change it i prayed and prayed. It didn’t work obviously. Maybe he would change his mind maybe he would wan t me back but i couldn’t see that happening, i could actually feel in my bones in my heart we were over. I started to cry again wow it hurt a lot. Maybe its for the best? Oh please of course its not, i just hoped it weren’t. Eight months of my life wasted and the out come oh perfect a broken heart! Exactly what i wanted for Christmas. So what was i going to do now, stalk him? No. Forget him? No Stay in love with him? Probally. You hear all these stories about how people get over their first love but i just could never see it, but i guess i had to believe it right? I really hate my life now. Really. And now i had to go to a party with him on Saturday lord help me!
10.12.09
Today was the day, the party. Would he change his mind if he saw me? Maybe i tried no to get my hopes up but i really couldn’t help it. I had to be at Jades by six. Would it hurt if i saw him? I was scared and i had butterflies in my stomach when i was on the train. Please let him change his mind. When i got to Jades he wasn’t there ( disappointment) he was at Alika’s great. Going well so far. Not.


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