No Regrets!

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Literary Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
A fiction I wrote about two high school young girls desperate to find love.

Submitted: March 04, 2007

A A A | A A A

Submitted: March 04, 2007




Another day

“I know what you mean! It’s, like, as soon as you hit high school, the smallest of things become the most important. No matter how stupid or truly miniscule they are, they’re just blown completely out of proportion!”

Her friend made a sympathetic noise and nodded, even though Isabelle couldn’t see it. “You think too much, Isabelle. High school has been the same for so many generations now. It’s always been about looks, sex and popularity. You know that as soon as we leave high school, none of this will matter, so don’t worry about it. It’s not exactly going to last your entire life now, is it?”

Isabelle sighed reluctantly. “As usual, you’re right Samantha, but still…” She trailed off distractedly.

“I’m not always right,” Samantha reassured, “You’re just too sensitive!”

Isabelle sighed again, “I know.” She laughed and continued, “You never let me forget it!”

“That’s what best friends are for! Anyway, I have to go, but I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

”Okay. Bye Sam.”

Isabelle smiled and hung up the phone, her thoughts already wandering back to the past. It always surprised Isabelle when she thought of how happy she used to be. She had had great friends that she absolutely adored and a great family. She still found it hard to believe that she hadn’t much of that left anymore.

As she sighed and lay back onto her bed, a small glint of metal caught the corner of her eye. Curious, she reached out and grasped the cold object in her small hand and brought it up to her eyelevel. Opening her fist, she examined the object and then abruptly turned her head as the tears began to well in her eyes. Snapping her fist shut again, she rolled onto her side and closed her eyes, her mind wandering back into her past; exploring the memories she had always tried to hide so deeply from herself…

Hidden memories

Isabelle sat waiting for her mum, her eyes concentrated on her hands resting in her lap. I don’t belong here, she thought to herself. I would give anything just to go back to primary school, get away from this stupid place. It’s not as if I’d be missed, hell, I don’t have any friends to miss me.

Isabelle shook her head slightly, trying to cut off the train of thought before it could do any real damage and stood, eyes drinking in her surroundings briefly. There was no one else there, just her… well, okay that wasn’t true, there was one other girl. Trying to look inconspicuous, she examined her carefully. She noticed that the girl looked about as alone as she felt.

Suddenly, the girl looked up and caught Isabelle off guard. As their eyes connected, she quickly looked down, but it was too late, the damage was done. The girl must’ve mistaken her glance for something other than what it was, as she picked up her bag and bounded over to her.

“Hello there!” She greeted, her voice warm and friendly.

It took all of Isabelle’s strength, but she managed to look up briefly and respond, “Hey.”

The new girl didn’t take any notice of Isabelle’s nervousness and continued, “Nice day, isn’t it?”
Isabelle didn’t know what to say, so she just nodded timidly, her eyes still on the ground in front of her.

“I’m Jasmine, by the way. Are you a grade seven?” The girl enquired as she reached out and plucked a rose from the behind bush.

“Erm... I’m Isabelle and yeah, I am.” Isabelle answered quietly.

“Cool. I love roses,” sighed Jasmine. Grinning devilishly all of a sudden, she broke a thorn off the rose and licked the end of it, before sticking it to her forehead.

Isabelle couldn’t help but giggle, “You’re a rhinoceros!”

Jasmine’s smile widened and she broke another thorn off, wordlessly attaching it to Isabelle’s forehead.

Isabelle touched the thorn lightly and smiled at Jasmine. Soon they were sticking thorns all over each other. At one point, Jasmine managed to get seven on Isabelle’s nose before they fell off.

Isabelle was disappointed when her mother arrived, but she quickly grabbed her bag and hurried away, calling out a brief goodbye to Jasmine as she left.


Fading communications

After that day, Isabelle and Jasmine didn’t see much of each other, though it isn’t to be said that they didn’t greet the other when they happened by them.

Isabelle finally managed to make some friends and was beginning to enjoy school, though she did occasionally wonder about the cheeky girl she had befriended a while ago.

When both girls entered into grade eight, they both found that they were situated in the same class. By then, there wasn’t any communication between the two left, but miracles will never cease.


A fresh start

“Hey Abigail!” Greeted Isabelle that morning. “How are you?”

Abigail waved madly and replied, “I’m good. We have cooking first!”
Isabelle laughed and nodded, “Yep, I know. I guess I’d be right in guessing you’re slightly excited.”
Abigail nodded wildly, scooped up her books and wandered into the classroom, Isabelle not far behind her.

When they were dismissed from morning admin, Abigail and Isabelle made their way up to the cooking room, excitement obvious. Cooking was one of the few subjects that they actually enjoyed. As usual, the partners were assigned and they went their separate ways.

Towards the end of the lesson, Abigail hurried over to Isabelle. Isabelle was preoccupied cleaning up and only just noticed the eager expression on Abi’s face.

“Hey Isabelle,” exclaimed Abi as she approached.

Isabelle muttered a quick hello in return and continued with her cooking, as time was running out.

Abi tapped her on the shoulder impatiently and continued, “Isabelle! This is Jasmine, I’m sure you too have seen each other about, but I thought I’d introduce you.”

Partially annoyed, Isabelle swung around and faced Abi. Surprise crossed her face as she saw Jasmine – the cheeky girl from the rosebush.

Blushing slightly, Isabelle smiled and quickly said, “Hi Jasmine, I’m Isabelle. Sorry, but I really have to get this done.” Turning to Abi, she whispered, “I’ll talk to you after, okay?” Before returning to her work.

At the end of the lesson, Abi met Isabelle outside and they walked down to their lockers together. As they walked, Isabelle explained about Jasmine and how they already knew each other.

“What was that all about, Issie?” Asked Abi curiously.

“I’ve met Jasmine before.”
Abi looked surprised and then smiled, “That’s good then. I thought… I thought she might be able to sit with us in class. Her friends were all put in different classes and she and I got along so well, so I was wondering…”
Isabelle cut her off, “Yes, that’s fine. I don’t mind.”
Abi grinned happily and hugged Isabelle, before bounding off to find Jasmine and tell her the news.


To say the least

The friendship between Jasmine and Isabelle quickly bloomed and it wasn’t long until they were the closest of friends. Often they found that their connection angered their other friends, but it never seemed to bother them, as long as they had each other, they were content.

Most weekends they spent together and were always at each other’s side. Of course, they fought, as most young teenagers do, but they loved each other too much to ever let it last long.

They had been friends for about a year and a half when the relationship began to change, in a way that probably should never have happened…


Back to the present

Isabelle opened her eyes and wiped the tears away from her flushed cheeks. Sitting up, she opened her fist again and stared at the necklace embedded there, her sobs increasing slightly.

Suddenly angry, she squeezed her hand shut and then pulled her arm back, before flinging the necklace into the wall. As the anger left her body, almost as suddenly as it had come, she crumpled back against the sheets and shut her eyes again, the memories flooding her tormented mind once more…


Changing feelings

Isabelle was stretched out on the lounge, her head resting against Jasmine’s leg, as they watched another of the Harry Potter movies. Isabelle wasn’t sure as to what Jasmine was thinking, but she knew her mind was concentrated on places other than the movie. Stealing a glance at jasmine, she smiled and thought, I am so lucky to have Jasmine. I don’t know what I’d do without her. She’s the only one who really knows me anymore… God, I love her.

For some reason, the last four words repeated in Isabelle’s mind, over and over, until it morphed into an incessant chant.

As Isabelle shook her head, trying to clear her mind of the ongoing thought, Jasmine looked down at her, concerned over the sudden movement. Isabelle smiled and rubbed Jasmine’s thigh reassuringly. Jasmine returned the smile and looked up at the movie again.

Isabelle sighed softly to herself and then realised her hand was still caressing Jasmine’s thigh. What the hell, Isabelle? She asked herself, slightly shocked at her actions. She pulled away from Jasmine and went into the bathroom, her mind racing.

As she sat on the cold tiles, she reassured herself of what had just happened. It’s nothing, so stop worrying. I’m sure Jasmine didn’t mind, let alone notice, so stop worrying about it and go back out there.

Sighing, she stood and left the bathroom.


A declaration

Isabelle wasn’t too shocked to receive a note from Jasmine the next week concerning the weekend. She knew that she had stepped out of line and was worried about what the note would say. Though eager, she managed to wait until she got home before she opened the folded parchment.

Hey Isabelle. The note began. I’m sure that you know what this note is all about, as you and I both were there on the weekend. God, I don’t know what to say. It shocked me that you acted the way you did, but yet… it kind of pleased me too. I love you, you know that Issie, but to what extent, I am not sure. You can’t deny that our relationship has always been a lot more… affectionate, than most, but… Hmm, God, I don’t know what to say. I know you love me, but how exactly do you love me? As a friend, a sister… or… more than all of that?

Isabelle bit her lip and folded the note again, her mind already answering the note. She jumped up from her desk and grabbed a pen and paper, before sitting back down again, ready to write.

Well, I guess I should have seen this coming, started Isabelle, her hand racing across the paper. I’m sorry about the weekend, if I startled you, then I apologise. Why do you ask how I love you, though? You know I love you as a sister. You’ve always been there for me and I’ve appreciated it so God damn much! Thinking back to the weekend… and some other past events… I guess it may seem like I love you more, but I don’t… at least I don’t think I do. I admit that I sometimes wonder what it would be like to kiss you, or be able to call you my own… but isn’t that what most teenagers go through? Experimenting and such?

The next day, after Isabelle had given Jasmine the note, the response came quickly. Isabelle left class and went into the toilets. Locking the door behind her, she shakily opened the note and began to read.

It’s perfectly normal for teenage girls to experiment and have mixed feelings for other girls… but do you really think this is all this is? Just stupid experimentation? I thought about it last night, and I realized something, so here goes - I love you, Issie. I always have and I always will. Out of all the people around me, it has been you that has always believed in me… always been by my side. It’s been you that’s held and soothed me when I’ve cried. I realise now that I love you so deeply… and I want you to be mine. As my partner, not just my closest friend. I love you, Issie.

Isabelle fell against the cubicle wall and breathed in sharply. She pulled her pen from her pocket and turned the paper over, her heart racing in her chest. She immediately began to scribble a response. I love you, Jas. I have for so long, but I’ve spent just as long denying it and trying to hide it from you. As hard as I tried, I couldn’t always hide it from you. The nights that you slept in my arms were my favourite times. They still are. I ache for you when we are apart. I love you, Jas. I want you to be mine.

Hurriedly folding the note up, she slipped it into her pocket and raced back to the classroom. As she sat down next to Jasmine, she slipped the note into her hand and smiled, slightly afraid of what Jasmine’s response would be.


A new relationship

About a week later, Jasmine and Isabelle had decided to date. They both loved each other and were happy to be able to call the other their own. The first night they were together and going out, was what Isabelle liked to think of as just beautiful. It started just after they had climbed into bed.

“Vincent told me that I had to do something.”
“What do you have to do?” Asked Isabelle curiously.

“Oh… nothing.”
“What is it?”

“I can’t tell you,” Jasmine said teasingly.

“But…” Isabelle pretended to sulk unhappily.

Jasmine smiled at her and then bent over Isabelle and kissed her tenderly on the lips. “He told me I had to do that,” she whispered softly.

Isabelle stared at Jasmine, slightly shocked, but then she smiled. She liked the way her lips had felt and wanted to kiss her again. As if reading her mind, Jasmine bent and kissed her again, this time pressing her lips against Isabelle’s for longer. This time when Jasmine pulled back, Isabelle smiled and touched Jasmine’s cheek softly.

As Jasmine bent to kiss her a third time, Isabelle wrapped her arms around her and drew her into the kiss. Jasmine, realising that Isabelle wanted it as much as her, moved her tongue forward and slipped it into Isabelle’s mouth.

Isabelle, this being her first kiss, was hesitant at first, but soon her tongue was dancing with Jasmine’s, their tongues molding and becoming one.

As the kiss’ fire grew, Jasmine began to suck at Isabelle’s tongue occasionally, and it was all Isabelle could do to keep from moaning. They rolled over, and, as Isabelle’s confidence quickly grew, she began to suck and caress Jasmine’s own tongue, her mouth aching for Jasmine.

That night was spent mostly on kissing each other. The newly found passion spurred them on long throughout the night and neither of the two was keen to stop. Eventually, they fell asleep; Isabelle curled up next to Jasmine, her head resting on her stomach, Jasmine’s arms around her.


A sad ending

Jasmine and Isabelle had been dating for about a month when Isabelle decided to call it off. For a while, it had been awkward between them, but that began to wear away.

A week later, they dated again, but that only lasted a single day. The second time, when Isabelle called it off, she said she needed to be alone for a while. She avoided Jasmine at school and, eventually, she told Jasmine just to stop trying to communicate with her. “It’s over,” she said, “the relationship, the friendship… it’s all over.”

Isabelle never regretted dating Jasmine, but, to a degree, she regretted losing Jasmine completely. No matter what she did though, her heart never stopped loving Jasmine, for once the heart loves - it never stops…


A loss felt

Isabelle lifted her head wearily and looked around her, sighing sadly as she did so. She sat up and as the tears started falling, she drew her legs up to her stomach and buried her face in her knees, misery befalling her entirely.

She had been curled up like that for over an hour before she finally uncurled herself again. Standing, she walked over to the necklace and picked it up gently. Sighing, she raised it to her lips and kissed it delicately, before enclosing her hands around it. Tears still staining her face, she crawled into bed and pulled the covers around her, the necklace still gripped tightly in her hands, as she fell into an exhausted sleep.

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