Used && Abused

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic
Nicey has to decided wether she wants to be with someone who abused her physically and used her to make him becaome popular or be with someone who abused her mentally and made her life a living hell. Who was it going to be?

Submitted: December 08, 2012

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Submitted: December 08, 2012

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"I can't be faithful in our relationship if we don't have sex." This was the text i recieve early this morning. It was right when the sun rised because the sun hit the phone and reflected into my face. As i read it confusion and angry came across my face. What in the hell was going on? Ayden had blew up my phone after i got the text. I guess he was expecting my response quicker than i could think about it. Did he really expect me to come up with a response? He texted me talking about baby, i didn't mean it! I want youuuuuuu blah blah blah blah blahhhhh!

I'm not stupid. The first thing you say is the first thing you mean. It's when you aren't thinking, that's when the truth really comes out. I should have knew something was up though. I mean since when do guys now a days want a faithfully commited relationship. All he wanted from me is sex. Nothing more. I feel so stupid. I feel into the trap. The sex trap. I knew good and well i wasn't even pretty enough to date someone like him. Gosh what was i thinking? Ayden just wanted to fuck the dawg.

I gave in about three days later. If it's sex that he wants, it's sex that he will get. All i want to do is make him happy. Just in case i wasn't doing the right thing, i called my partner in crime, Graylen. She would know what to do."Hey Boo!" i exclaimed. " What are you doing love?" After a good 20 minutes of just catching up, i finally told her my plan. "Nicey!!!! He is using you for sex! Don't fall for it!" She yelled. I could tell in her tone of voice that she was disappointed in my choice. She countiuned on with her lecture for another good 15 minutes.

After getting lectured for an hour, i started to think. I started thinking about the whole situatuion. Was having sex with Ayden really worth it? we have only been together for a mere 2 months. That really isn't long enough for anything to happen. Not long enough for a spark to happen. I don't want to have sex with someone. I want it to be with the one i love. if i was to lose my virginity, it would have to be with someone that i truly have a connection with. not some little highschool fling. there was more to this decision than i thought,

I woke up to almost 25 different texts. As i read them, my heart completely dropped. Most of them were about bananas. I couldn't possible believe what i was reading. Memories started to flooding in like a tidal wave. Almost two years ago Philip and I were talking. Philip is a guy from my younger years. Him and i onec had a thing but it wasn't real. all he wanted from me was sex, sex and more sex. I didn't cave in because i was young and scared.

The day that the whole rumor started was a trackout. I was just chilling around the house with nothng to do. Philip called me and we got on skype. It was just any other time that we go t on. We did our homework and talked about random things. I watched him play call of duty and we just talked some more. Then things astarted to get really weird. he was STARING at me. I felted completely freaked out so i went and got a snack. i'm not sure what made me get bananas and peanut butter, but that was my snack. Once i got back , Philip asked if he could be my first. I told him no because our relationship wasn't going anywhere. He completely went off on me, yelling and screaming about how i would regret it.

months later i realized what he meant. He finally got me back.Something had upsetted him. Im not quite sure what it was, but he started telling his girlfriend and people that i talked to that i shoved a banana in my vagina. After a while people started calling me banannie. The worst part about it was that i didn't even know i was being called that. I didn't find out about it til the end of 8th grade. By then, the rumor along with the nickname had already been going around for nearly five months. All of this happened because i didn't want to have sex!

Now as i'm sitting on my bed, ni couldn't wrap my head around the face that the rumor followed me. It's only been five months since i've starte highschool. How in the world did the rumor start over again with people i barely know? I was sure that the rumor went awway because Philip had moved to California. I guess even though he is in a whole other state that doesn't stop him from being a lying bastard.

i rolled out of bed and got ready for school. "today should be a blast!" i exclaimed sarcastically. i quickly grabbed a bagel and got in the car.my sister could sense that something was wrong."NIcey, whtat is wrong?" Je'Miah asked. As i explained to her about my sex-craze boothang and the banana rumor, i broke down into tears. "i'm always someone's target and every guy just wants me for sex!" i screadmed through my muffled cried." it isn't fair!" i yelled and crawled into a ball. She oulled the car into a empty lot." Nicey,it's not you at all! You are so beautiful. These guys are just too immature to realize that." she said. Her words definetly comforted me, but i still wasn't convenst. I was used too many times. This almost felt mormal.

The walk throught the halls to get to my LA was the worst walk i've ever encountered. People were pulling me aside and asking me about the rumor. Even people i didn;t know knew about it. Damn, this rumor spreaded like wildfire! Nothing could possible make this rumor go away. All i wanted to do was crawl in a corner and die. I needed to find Graylen and i needed to find her as soon as possible! i was in the mist of crying in the middle of the hallway.I found her standing with Ayden and Justan. Before i could even tell her about everything that happen since we got off the phone last night, Ayden pulled me aside.

"Come with me now Nicey!" Ayden whispered harshly. Something told me things weren't right but i went anyways. I mean he is my boyfriend. Something reallly pissed him off. I could tell by the way he jerked me all the way down the long hallway. it was really quiet down there and there was barely anyone. "what do you want and why did you bring me all the way down here?' i demanded quiet loudly.

the next thing, i was very unprepared for. I felt a hand slap acrossmy face." don't you ever embarrass me like that agai. got people saying i got a dirty girlfriend and shit damn , you will fuck a banana but won't have sex with me, okay!" he went on and on. i wasn't listening though. my cheek stung. it got redder and redder by the minute. oh my gosh! he hit me. he full on slapped me in the face. i didn't know what to do. i just walked off. he was yelling my name but i blocked him out and keep on walking.

it was time for class so i ran to my locker to get my things . As i keyed in the last part of my combination and open the door, bananas and pictures all fell out onto the floor. I couldn't hold back anymore i slid down and the waterworks started. I was in the middle of the floor crying. i was surrounded by bananas, pictures, and dildos. There were also tons of notes addressed to me. who would do all of this. who would even have the time for all this? i sat on the floor crying for a hour before Ms.White came and told me to get up.

When we got to her office, she lectured me about how there was a right time for everything but school isn't the right time for drama. When i tried to explaning to her that it wasn't my fault she cut me off. She claimed it was my fault for being in the drama in the first place. i walked start out of her ofice. this was the second time someone fussed me out and i just walked away. i didn't have time for them. I could'nt deal at all. it wasn't even lunch yet and i already wanted to leave. i got into my car and drove. i had no particular place that i wanted to go. i was just going away from my probelms. far far away.

 i woke up to doctors talking and bringht lights. my first instinct was to look down. my whole body was in some sort of cast. what had happened? the last thing i rememebered was getting in the car and driving around to release my stress." how are you Nicey?" the doctor asked. " Pretty good, i can't feel anything" i said weakly." you are a very lucky young lady. you could of died the way that car hit you. luckly i was already a block away so you got to the hospital quick. you didn't suffer in internal damage but you have several broken bones." he explained. Right as he finished Je'Miah walked in.

"My baby!" she exclaimed" are you okay?" i told her everything that happened all the way from when i walked into the school building until now. i was so devestated. Damn, nothing in my life has been going good. All day i had to listen ti the doctor explaineach bone that was broken. it got boring after a while. i feel asleep. when i woke back up, a dozen people were in my toom surrounding me. I was absolutely shocked at who u saw in my room. It was Ayden, philip, Nicole and mostly all the people that but stuff in my locker.

"well look it here!Now y'all want to be concerned with my welfare. But i could of sworn you were just accusing me of shit that ain't even true!" i barked. i was so mad. they had the nerve. especailly Philip , Ayden and Nicole. i officially couldn't stand them. " Can y'all please leave like now?" i asked as politely as i could. everyone left but Ayden, Nicole and Philip. what did these fake ass people want. Didn't they embarrass me enough?" what? i said leave" i snapped rudely. philip went first. we need to talk , he explained to me. i didn't have shit to say to him or his stuckup girlfriend.

"I have nothing to say to you philip. you have absolutely ruined my life. why are you even here?" i yelled. i knew stressing about this was pointless but i had to get my point across! he wasn't about to embarrass me anymore. " Nicey, i'm just trying to apoligize. i told Nicole to spread the rumor again. I  didn't like how you were enjoying high school with out me. i wanted us to be together throughout high school. i realized i made a mistake forcing sex onto you. every girl after you was so different. they gave sex up so easily. with you it was a challenge. i was madly in love with you and i still somewhat am. when you rejected me, i went ballistic. i wanted you to suffer as much as i did. i didn't think it would get this out of hand though." he said. had i just heard this correctly. Philip Lorenzo Jones was in love with me?! i wasn't the only one that was shocked.Nicole lookied like her jaw was about to break and Ayden was looking mighty sick.

"How long have you had these feelings?" i stammered. All this time philip has been in love with me. " i realized after you turned me down for sex. You were differen. you didn't really seem to be into it. I respected that. After i got over being mad. i fell in love. i fell in love with a beautiful, mature young lady. i saw you the first couple of days in high school and thought i had a chance before i moved away. you paid no attention to me though. so i got mad and the rumor started. i came here because i wanted to fix things. i have just recently moved back and i couldn't swallow the thought of life with you hating me" he explained.

i wanted to finish our conversation but Ayden interupted. "So i just came to get my things. i didn't know how long you were going to be here. i wanted to set up a time." Ayden snapped rudely. was he really serious." Yeah we are done. you are way too complicated for me and you ain't giving up the ass anytime soon. i don't have the time for you and your selfish ass." he added. i couldn't believe my ears. was he serious? i wanted to fuss, cuss, scream, everything at him but i hardly got the chance. The next thing i saw was Philip tackle Ayden. "Don't talk to her like that" he said as he punched him in the face repeativly. All i could do was stare. i don't know what i was more shocked about. Whether the fact that Philip was taking up for me or the fact that Ayden wasn't fighting back.

All I know is that i got a tough decision to make. i still want Ayden to be in my life! no matter how mean he was just now, he is still my baby. But now i might consider giving Philip a chance he seems like a changed guy. im really not sure who i want. I got a good five to six months though. that's how long im going to be in the casts. I'll see who will really be there for me during my troubles. Philip and Ayden are now really fighting. I wobble out of my bed and  i stood up between them.. they stopped fighting immeditly. I knew that neither of them would hit me. " Nicey move! " they screamed in chorus. " no i don't want y'all beating up each other. please stop" i started crying.

"Baby , I'm sorry" they said at the same time again. Things really started to get awkward. After getting out of bed and stopping the fight i finally realized who i wanted. i wanted the one who would make me happy and make me feel new. I wanted Philip. i wobbled over to Philip and kissed him. " I want to restart" i whispered in his ear. I heard Ayden ask Nicole if she wanted to get out of here. I already knew what they were about to do. "Hi! My name is Nicey Imani Bullock" i giggled. i finally felt happy. It was kind of a new start. Hopefully with Philip, i won't have to worry about being used and abused. Maybe he is just want i need to start the new chapter in my life.


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