What is Schizophrenia?

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is just a short story of a piece of my life ive recently been given about 3 months ago, Its about me recieveing my schizophrenic disease and turning it into a somewhat...gift?

Submitted: July 03, 2008

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Submitted: July 03, 2008

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Well, once upon a time there was me...with a pretty normal life. Spending time with friends and playing my games not expecting a special someone to come into my life. Then all of the sudden, heaven sent an angel to help me out of my hellhole of a past that I hang onto. Her smile could put me at the top of world and that seemed to be the littlest feature about her, while I could talk about her for ten eternities and probably more...sadly thats not what Im here to tell you about, what I "am" here to tell you about is how she helped me through my depression and suicidal thoughts of my tormented past...

I'll jump start a little before "he" showed up...erhm...

Being a very depressing time for me...my own blood seemed to flow away from me, my dearest brothers and sisted had moved away from me because my uncle had been offered a job for better. As for myself and feelings...I held up very very well for my most cherished family members moving for me...for at least ten minutes...then I couldnt help but want to sit, think, cry, and even give up on life. They seemed to be everything to me, without them I didnt know if I could do it since my my grandparents were never truly "enthusiastic" towards my beliefs and such...

And over time I began to hate little things in life, then eventually, I began to hate everything. Keeping in mind my one true love was there to try and help me, but I had my mind set on how foolish of a life I owned. I treated her all the ways I shouldnt...As if buying a dog at the pet shop only to take my anger out on it. She couldnt take my selfish ways and left me, leaving me hanging onto nothing. She was always there for me, now she wasnt. I finally realized that what I was doing was the stupidest thing I could ever do. As I slowly worked my way back with her, a demon; No, a broken angel was in my midst and probably always was...

Still not together, but still happy we remained. Until one day...I was walking home from after the bus dropping me off. I walked about half a block then realized...I was being followed...without a doubt, I turn to look my head when I was staring at the soaked in sunny daylight pavement and drug my head my my feet at a somewhat 180 degree angle and noticed black pants and shoes run past me and threw my head up as fast as I could and guess what I saw...Nothing. I then made it through the alley a bit shaken up, but I thought to myself it was a long day of gym after lifting weights and such and thought I was just tired. I start to go through my backyard and saw the shed with someone dressed in black jeans, black boots, a black leather zipper vest with tribal tatoos all over the left arm, a pair of black aviators, with a black fauxhawk, and a very dark presence slowly slipping away behind the shed. I played it safe, went around the block went inside, and told my dearest friend that I wished was still with me about this wonderful day. After these kind of events happening at least three more times I was fed up with it. I thought what may be causing this now and I decided one day after school to head back to my cousin's old house after they moved.

As I stay in the once beautiful laughter filled yard of my family, I stand there alone...crying...with memories. Not because they were gone, because they weren't. They were all right there before me, laughing, running, talking, and...not breathing. They were memories seeping through my damaged schizophrenic head. They weren't there, I knew, yet, I still cried. I looked through the once fully intact but now broken glass window only to be frightened to peer my eyes looking down the staircase into the basement seeing his shadow pass by. I then went a bit, drastic you might say. I took a shard of glass and pierced my scarred skin leaving blood in between the window as if serving as a barrier. Keeping him in one realm and me in the other. After sealing the demon, I went home free of my troubles...So I thought.

About a week alter I "had" to go back and help get some things they left back at their house and needed to be taken home with us in case of a burglary. Yes, my parents found out that the glass had been broken and immediately rushed over at night just to get these things. Then to make it worse, they bring "me" and then send "me" inside the house. After that night, the beast was onced again released.

The next day, my parents are gone and at work, I fear the worst and think back to all my painful memories and go upstairs for a drink. I come back dowstairs with a knife in my pocket. It is now safe to say that this is no longer me in control, but him, Four. Although I remember a lot from that night it was never really truly me who was doing it because I never really remember grabbing a knife and truly wanting to kill myself yet, I was making demanding threats to her, the girl of my dreams. Not ones to her, but to myself. It was approximately 11:46 PM and a night I will never forget, because that night, she came. She saved my life, Four told me he was planning to die with myself in her arms, a true fallen angel. He let her in, her face as beautiful as ever with a single tear dripping from her cheek. Almost irresistable, she hugged me. I brought the blade out...and let it slip back into my pocket and broke out into tears holding her. I was thankful and in love from that moment, I told myself that this, is true love. Unfortunately I cannot say that now...

Almost two weeks later, Four comes back as me again. Talking to her, trying to apologize. At least thats what she told me. No I didnt remember this one, why though I dont know. Then the next incident resolved it all. He came to me through my sights and ears. He sat right next to me on my bed in my room. Funny thing, he was pretty good looking. It was like looking at myself in a mirror except with snake bites. Its funny because everything that he had, is what I wanted in a physical appearance. We became friends you could say that night and agreed to "share" the body, but I was the master and would let him loose every now and then and I still do, but not often. Perhaps once a month I believe.

Eh, well I believe thats it for me on this...theres way more I could tell, but I think it would turn into a somewhat biography. But if this gets me reads I'd be happy to tell these stories. :)

Oh a little credit to: Nixie for the "inspiration"

:)


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