Daily Rant 10/01/10

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
The Daily Rant is brought to you by the voices in my head!

Submitted: October 01, 2010

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Submitted: October 01, 2010

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I can not believe that it is already october. This year has seemed to fly by. It's strange how our perception of time changes over the years. I remember when I was little the year would go by so slow. Well When you're little you are really only waiting for three big dates. Which would be Christmas, Your Birthday, and Summer Vacation. As you get older it seems like the years begin to fly by. I think around the time of my twenty first birthday is when I began realizing how fast the year's seemed to come and go. Looking back now it's pretty hard to accept that I'm twenty nine. I sure as hell do not feel that old. Am I old though? I definitely do not act my age. Not that I'm some immature oaf who floats around life pretending he's still in highschool. But I definitely am young at heart. Sometimes I still wake up early enough to watch saturday morning cartoons and eat cereal in front of the television. Not that I have anywhere else to eat it since there is no kitchen table in my apartment. I pay my bills on time, make it work and appointments when I should be there, and I take out the garbage when I see that it is full, as well as other grownup things an adult would do. So does that mean that I am an adult.

  One thing is for sure is that I don't want to ever be that guy that trades in all of the things that make him who he is for adult reasons. That is why I am so grateful for my job. I can come to work in casual attire and not have to put on that fake face like in other jobs that I have had. My job has given me the privledge of being myself on a constant basis and I freaking love that. No longer will I have to wear long sleeve shirts on the hottest day of the year to cover up my tattoos. I use to have to do that when I was a gas attendant. People actually took time out of their day to go and talk to my boss and explain to him how offended they were to have someone with tattoos pumping their gas. Ofcourse he did not make me cover them up. But he said it wouldn't hurt if I wanted to get more tips. It's true though for some reason after I got my Vash on my arm a lot of people stopped tipping me. I was actually shocked by the amount of tips that I lost because of it. Hell, there was even people that stopped coming in on my shift because of it. I was fine with that becasue they were most likely assholes. But I also like as much free money as the public was willing to put in my face. Sure I can chalk it up to the fact that I was working in Niskayuna,NY and that town is full of assholes. But I think it's the fact that I even tried to conform to get those tips is what pisses me off the most. That's why I'm so apprecitive of my job now. 

Sure I work in the entertainment industry ; most people think that my job is all fun and games. Which it is the furthest thing from the truth that I have ever heard. Sure my 8 hours do consist me playing video games but it's not all fun and games. I take my work very seriously and if anything bust my ass more than most in my department. Sure I have always had a really awesome work ethic and am not afraid of getting my hands dirty. But I think it is the fact that I appreciate my job so much that going above and beyond what others would or have done is only hitting the low mark for me. I know I can be pretty critical of myself but I think that is part of what gives me the drive to constantly succeed and attain whatever it is that I want. Not that I am not satisfied with where or what I have gotten from my job. I just feel like there is always room for improvement. If not willing to go that extra mile there are a million other people out there who would kill for the chance to do so. For god sakes I've been at my job for over two years and am still considered a temporary employee. Hopefully that will change sometime in the near future. But regardless if it does or doesn't I will constantly put out the effort at 250% like I always have. I havve given up alot for my job and in return it has shown me how much it actually appreciates me. After working here in the industry I always wanted to be I can't imagine myself doing anything else. It's an amazing feeling to want to go to work and I feel bad for anyone who doesn't

  I use to be that guy. I remember getting out of work and dreadfully counting down the hours till I had to return. Only fourteen hours until you're right back in this hell hole. I think alot of my attitudes and just overall crappy moods stemed from the fact that I hated my job or jobs so much. To have to constantly wake up early as hell, go to a place you can not stand, preform menial tasks that a monkey could do, and with no way out in sight drove me insane. After getting home I would need like thirty minutes to myself to just like shake off the day so I wouldn't take my bad mood out on anyone. I needed that me time to just unwind and get back to my normal mood. My x really couldn't understand this. As much as she loved me she felt powerless because there was no real way to get me out of that mood. All I would need is to smoke a bowl kick off my boots and just relax for thirty minutes. I remember we got into an argument one time because she said I wasn't showing her enough affection after returning from work. I told her flat out it's nothing against you it's not like I'm not in love with you because I'm a total grump after work. I need the time for myself to decompress and get me out of the horrible mood that I was in. She finally started to understand but I just felt so guilty for not being able to be in this wonderfull mood and be super affectionate. Because lord knows I can be like that. It was mainly just that job. Swallowing all the bullshit from not only my boss but the customers was tough for me. There were literally days that I just wanted to punch my boss in the face, set the gas pumps on fire, and walk away in a blaze of glory. Thank God I never did that. But it goes to show you that if you spend so much time doing something you hate it will have some type of adverse effects on you.

  Unfortuantely a few months after landing my dream job we ended up breaking up. So I could really never test if my new job was affecting me as much as the old one was. But what I do remember from the short time we were together that it didn't really. I would come home and jump on her like a cat and either have my way with her( With her consent of course) or we would just end up laughing and snuggling. Until we realized we should do most likely do something or eat something before the entire rest of the day went to waste. I love it here and I never want to leave. I think the whole point of my little tale is that if you're not doing something you love than what is the purpose of putting so much time into it. I understand that situations, and places that people are in their life may not permit that. But it sure as hell doesn't mean you have to accept it. I almost did accept it. Thank god I didn't cause then who the hell knows where I would of been now. Most likely in some pitiful dead end job hating every single second I happened to give to it. You an do it and I am almost positive that it is not to late to do so. Just never stop reaching for what you love and eventually you will get your hands on it.


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