When i smile to the world,
when i laugh with a friend,
when i act like nothing's wrong,
i just want it all to end.
when i seem carefree,
when i hide it all away,
when i lie and say im fine,
thats when im not okay.
when i seem as though im happy,
when you think my heart is strong,
when i shrug my troubles off,
thats when something is quite wrong.
when i seem to be untroubled,
when i seem to have no fears,
when i put on a brave face,
thats when i wipe away my tears.
I hide my emotions,
its not fair to burden others,
i can handle it myself,
as i cry under my covers.
its not like im hurting,
no more than i can bear ive shown,
its not like it matters,
when im crying all alone.
i dont believe it makes a dfference,
whether im lying or not,
as long as they think im happy,
though my crying will not stop.
In fact i doubt that they would care,
i doubt i would be missed,
perhaps its better of this way,
i reach towards my wrist.
But wait just think of all of those,
the ones i hold most dear,
the ones who truly give a damn,
the ones who lend an ear.
do they know?,
its well concealed,
im sure they dont notice,
where the bloods congealed.
if they dont know it wont hurt them,
they'd be better of without me,
im sure they'll soon forget my name,
as i let the blood flow free.
I went to my own funeral,
i thought no-one would care,
but i saw them all weeping,
my friends, all standing there.
what have i done, i've hurt them more,
than with the lies i'd spoken,
too late i cant undo whats done,
they stand there all heart broken.
© Copyright 2016 Francis Berryman. All rights reserved.