Tales of Great Fortune VI - A tale of matrimony

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
Follow the Great Trenlin as he struggles to make it big in the world of fortune telling.

Submitted: March 11, 2016

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Submitted: March 11, 2016

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'My husband is obsessed with his job. He never really has time for me. To listen to me, to do things together, it all seems so long ago. I think he doesn't love me anymore.'
The Great Trenlin exhaled deeply and shuffled the tarrot cards, allowing the divine forces to lead his hands. The waves of the universe were omnipresent, yet very subtle. It required a skilled professional to translate the meaning and intentions of the universe into an accurate reading.
'I see.'
That was one of his jokes. The Great Trenlin always saw. One cannot become CEO of ones own fortune telling company if one was not able to see.
'Please,' he ushered his customer with an empathic smile as he put the deck of cards on the table, 'could you cut the deck for me? Close your eyes when and let your mind be preoccupied. With your problem. The universe will reveal itself through your very hand.'
In a bored gesture, the customer lifted herself slightly from her chair and cutted the deck in three. 
The Great Trenlin sighed. He knew his customer was a stubborn woman and had predicted a troublesome reading from the very moment she hit him with her purse. 
 
While he considered raising his hourly rates, he resented the government for making life hard for creative and value-adding entrepreneurs like himself. There was little protection from the law when it came down to customer relationships. The last customer that Porric, his loyal yet simple co-worker, shot with the tranquilizer gun and tied down until the end of the session, had filed a lawsuit against them. Due to, as the Great Trenlin knew, political reasons, the lawsuit was lost and Porric was now spending a few months in jail for being the official owner of the tranquilizer gun and for having a less expensive lawyer than the customer and the Great Trenlin himself. 
It was a big setback for the company. After all, Porric still had not managed to remove the painted drawings from the back wall. Of course, the event had generated the much needed media attention and the Great Trenlins business was booming as fans of '50 shades of grey' all had booked appointments for months to come. Still, the Great Trenlin did not understand why the government was ruining the future of the country with stupid regulations like that.
 
With the demeanour of a real professional, the Great Trenlin assembled the deck and pulled out the first card. As expected, it was the Hierophant, sometimes refered to as the Pope by desperate wannabe psychics,
'Ah, the Pope,' the customer said with a smile of recognition.
'Not really, dear misses, it is the Hierophant.'
'Other fortune tellers call it the Pope.'
'Other fortune tellers have not been present in the media as often as I have been lately. Other fortune tellers are also much cheaper than me. When you pay peanuts, you get monkeys,' was what the Great Trenlin thought. However, his sense of ethics prevented him from saying such insulting and arrogant words, so he reverted to blunt lies.
'Do they? Do they? There are many correct names for the same thing. It represens respect, maturity, duality, social convention and institution. Its meaning is quite obvious.'
The Great Trenlin inserted a small pause to see if his know-it-all customer would interrupt him again or if he would be allowed to continue his inspired readings. It seemed as if the customer was all ears, even though her nose was quite significant as well.
 
'Your husband loves you very much. You have to believe in the institution of marriage. Bad times are a given in past, present and future, but they will make you enjoy the good times even more. You have to mature in your relationship and realize that your husband's respect for you is still unmeasurable.  Have faith. Love is a powerful force.'
'Then why does he spend so much time at his job and so little with me?'
The Great Trenlin turned over the next card. The chariot. He would have guessed.
'The chariot. Willpower, success, wealth and conviction. Your husband has a very successful business. If he wants it to grow, now is the time to push for it. After all, all the hard work is performed exclusively for you. His success enables you to live the life you want to have.'
'But this is not he life I want to have! It seems as if we hardly know eachother anymore.'
'Come, come. That is a wild exageration.'
'I had to make an appointment to see you, for Christ's sake!'
With a great shock, the Great Trenlin recognized the face of his own wife in the customer. With great skill, he predicted lots of troubles.
'Trenly, darling, that is not how other couples deal with eachother.'
'Oh, but we are not an ordinary couple, my love,' the Great Trenlin chuckled, 'we do not need a lot of words to understand eachother.'
'Seriously, Trenly, I do not think you understand at all.'
It was always a dangerous situation when his wife got emotional, the Great Trenlin knew. Frustrations were rising at the same speed as the irrational opinions of the love of his life. The ridiculous thought hit him harder than the purse had done earlier. A lack of understanding... It was hard to communicate when your partner was making those kind of absurd statements.
'But sure, I do, love,' he said while he put his crystal ball on the table.
'Good God, Trenly! Put that crystal ball away! That is not the point at all, although it is a good example of how you are obsessed with your work.'
 
She gestured wildly with her hands in a theatrical expression of an emotional windmill. The Great Trenlin felt panic rising and urged his wife to remain calm.
'Easy, love. Please, act gently. It would be bad karma to break a crystal ball.'
His wife jumped from her chair so enraged the Great Trenlin wished they had not confiscated the tranquilizer gun.
'Really?! Is your crystal ball what you are concerned about?'
With a wild gesture she slammed the crystal ball from the table and sent it towards the unforgiving wall of the building. As a force of nature, the reflexes of the Great Trenlin got the better of him'and took complete control of his body. With a neckbreaking stunt, he jumped after the crystal ball and got a firm grasp on it right before it slammed into the wall. In a desperate move, he rotated his body to protect the ball from demolition and himself from bad karma. He wasn't sure he succeeded. He hit the wall rather hard with his back and felt all air being pushed out of his lungs. A few coughs escaped from his body and he was ashamed to realize that other things had escaped from his body as well. It had always been clear to him that those artificial teeth were not fitting perfectly at all.
 
His wife looked upon him with a wry twist in her lower lip.
'Karma is a bitch,' she said.
The Great Trenlin looked at the crystal ball in his hands. It had survived the collision.
'That's odd,' he said, 'I think karma thinks the same way about you.'


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