The Dangerous Road of my Adolesence

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
This isnt my life story. This is just the story of the pain , and suffering i've met in my life.

Submitted: April 22, 2014

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Submitted: April 22, 2014

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No dreams, no skill, no identity, no thrill

Dropped out of school, sought to learn about life with nothing but the road, and my head.

Directions followed check, free soul , check, raw life and no regret, check

I didn't have time for it, and sleeping under the stars and hiking the mountain roads, kept my soul alive

I met guinuine people who gave me a ride, I saw god in nature with each stride along a dusty road toward a big city 

I learned independence , and got my neccesities in order.

No more principle, no more school peers, no more beastie boys, no more really weird days that i was not able to comprehend as the real world

No more fighting against something i couldn't identify, just battering my soul bloody with principles i was not ripe enough to handle ,without letting them grab the life of my soul i said goodbye

I walked along my thrilling, sometimes lonesome roads, but i was whole, i was alive at that time.

Looked at as a loser, a outcast, a lost cause

Maybe they were right about a lost cause, all i knew was i didn't agree with the ones they gave me,

 so i grew some balls,

and set out on the extreme road of a vagabond, and god blessed me with a wild heartbeat, 

and my journey was in no means a lost cause, but a way to find a cause

Many roads iv traveled. 

Ive fell down since then, stumbled, dropped from peaks all the way down stoney hillsides. 

Broken bones, crushed emotions, and damaged my mind.

 

Sometimes thought i was defeated, but the fighter in me was never deleted.

Ive hit so many lows, that at those times i was to bloody and beat up to even look up.

Ive hit so many blizzards of the soul, that half my life has been hidden from me because I went rouge looking for the exit from hell, but no exit was found, 

 

Ive been beaten, and battered, slaughtered , and shattered, iv froze to death on mountain roads, and was chiseled to imperfection by societies sculptors, and  by the cities deadly tolls

Ive sat on hope, and watched it drop out from under me, looked up again, and again, but did not find hope.

All has been lost,  then found  once and for all, but life is not fair and I've died more then I've won

Human contact was inutterable, affection impossible to be shown, a rock in my belly, and a  councious made of stone

I would let no one in.

 Peace, love, and kinship were thrown away by the conviction of independence  that left me utterly helpless and alone

One thing I know, my heart as always been gold, 

even as i fought with ruthless words, and was cut to the bone, looking at everyone as the enemy of my soul,

I still persisted in the war, with hangman more then knocking at my door, strangling emotions, unfathomable sorrows, society left me with nothing more

My eyes at times refused to look up, my mind fell into the dark pits before me evermore, i felt my body tumbling towards hells doors.

Hell was met, and i know the devil very well, he's destroyed me, and marred me, more than once, some fault was my own

Ive felt razor blades of ignorance slicing my forehead, indifference has blown me away in the face of imperfect love , and the people that tried to save me from the race of demons that seemed to come down from above 

when i thought looking up was the way to find the right of passage to becoming a man,

 saved, and lost, found, and destroyed, blessed when young, ruthless and mean, ignorant and green, i was not fed the food to eat, the manna from heaven came to me in a different way.

I thought at times, i was meant for suffering, blinded and black eyes, no will to move, no knot to tie,

 I heard it come out of mouths, that my hell was worse then any route that they've ever imagined .

I've taken down dark alleys and got lost in smoggy mind, hit with hate, even though victory later proved to be mine.

Ive laughed with the sinners, and cried with the saints, sinned in front of saints, and hated all mankind,

 not from knowledge, from assumed  survival instinct, I hit all the wrong buttons, no one was blinder then me

As david fought goliath, so life is proving to me, that the depths of hell , and my mistakes, as out of place i was , as bluntly as i can say it, at last  met with the utterly doubted,  ive confronted , and put my giants in their place.

With love for brothers, and lowering position, i count myself as nothing, to relate to the common,

 and take a humble position , with overwhelming outgoing love to the sinners and the saints.

At thirty five vie finally found a peak that i can stand on and look to and fro from,

 a place to fight from with the strength to conquer giants, 

where everything I've been through makes sense


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