versions of pain

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
UPDATED I have now currently have 5 ways I've written. I may or may not stop at 5. suggestions? Comment below!

Submitted: September 18, 2019

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Submitted: September 18, 2019

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V:1 Her smile wasn't a smile anymore. It was a grimace to hide her pain. To hide the fact that she wasn't living to live, but so others could be happy and think she was happy. She lost everything when the love of her life committed suicide and found out at his funeral that he had an affair. She was there for him and vowed she would never do such things, he vowed as well but stabbed her in the back days later.  Her smiles are no longer full. Her eyes show it. She has a smile but dark glassy eyes. What had she done to deserve this? What did he see in another lover that didn’t match up it his supposed true love? Was his profession of love to her fake and acted? Scripted? Saving his real one for a girl who looked pretty but abused and used him? Why couldn’t he see she was worth it? To run back to her before his pretty girl started hating him and making him attempt to kill himself only to run back and cry about how much of a mistake it was? Why did he stick with her after so many times of near death? He slept on a cold empty bed as his “girl” partied the night away to come back for a few hours of pleasure. Did he deserve that? No. He didn’t. No one deserves to be used and toyed no matter how many times they did it before. No matter the amount of people they cheated on from lust. When he took his final breath, his fake girl was in bed with another man unknowing of who she just lost. His first love was still mourning over her pain from him. It was too late for all of them and no matter how much they want to turn back time, what's done is done and there's no going back. 

 

V:2 Why did he pick her knowing that he was never going to keep her? Her smiles were brighter with him and she was on air whenever she’s with him. But she never knew that he never wanted her. She never noticed the countless nights when he wouldn’t say “good night” giving the excuse of studying. Even in the summer. She was so gentle with him as he stabbed into her small back everyday. Why couldn’t he let her go to find someone really ready for all her love? He trapped her under his spell  of nothing but pure spitted, leftover, fake love. Where had his empathy and gentleness gone? He was a pillow at the start of the relationship but now a dead rock under the ocean. He’s done living. He’s done staying afloat with anyone. He has hatred in his heart with only one goal. To drag his little ray of sunshine into the dark and turn her into darkness. With every pull, she resisted. Growing brighter and brighter. Almost too bright. She’s grown tired. Tired of fighting against the dark void that looks so memancing but peaceful. In her heart the man she loved was what’s keeping her afloat. But little does she know, he’s the one pulling her down. Turning her into him from pure selfishness and hatred. Hatred for her joy. Thirsty for her life. Her spark. “What did she have that I didn’t?” He wondered each night. At her peak, he gave her one last tug of plea. Just like she gave one last pull of resistance before letting her small timid body drift into the hands of her enemy. 

 

V3: Her eyes no longer sparkled or shined with glee. It was abruptly stolen and replaced by utter darkness and tears. Her eyes would never be able to match her fake smiles for others. She was so young and faced the worst kind of betrayal anyone can face. For life, she was scarred with no one to trust or love. The cuts on her arms and lines along her neck showed no doubt of failed suicide in the dead of night when no one was there to stop her. No one ever was. He used her gently adding up to complete destruction to her heart as the years went by of their endless proclamation of love for eachother. The comfort of his arms will never be around her and whomever tires to match it makes her colder and darker. Drawing her farther from her life, slowing fading away in the arms of a stranger. The days trudge by without hope of growing. She was trapped in a black hole of pain and brokenness. Walking blindly in the darkness, she welcomed an older man. Someone who gave her physical comfort. She confided in him letting him use her body for whatever he pleased. She was his and he was hers. Her body grew bruises as she was used over, and over. Beaten like a doll every night. When she was just a rag. He bought someone else into his house throwing her away. Once again, she was alone. Broken. Abandoned. She had no more fire. Replaced by coal, she felt like she couldn’t live anymore. What was the point? Who wanted her? That night, she emptied a bottle and hung herself off a building allowing her body to swing against the glass windows of a skyscraper. This time, it worked. She was finally released from her misery and brought to a new life. A life full of love from the highest. 


V4: She isn’t worth saving. Her heart is pure ice as she kills her way towards her target. The target who murdered her kindness. She knew it was coming and let the pain pierced into her heart. Freezing the pain, she stood up to get revenge. No time for mourning, she was done crying. Done being weak and falling to her knees before her ex. The one that fooled himself that he tore her. That he had won and destroyed her. No one can ever truly destroy her now. She’s too cold, too… gone. Each night, she would change. Changing into another version of vengeance within the walls of her hideous ex’s house. Following him. Knowing him. Inside and out. She wasn’t too insane, but enough to watch his every move, find his weaknesses, and know the best times to kill. She wanted to destroy his life like he had done to her. Ripping his family apart, she smiled. She smiled and laughed at his pain. She let him take his life right before her eyes. Watching him tie a rope around his neck, crying, wishing he had more to live for.

V5:How did the world expect her to move on a go to school? Pretend her worlds alright. She smiles painfully in the halls as people pass wearing sleeves to cover up her scars of betrayal. Betrayal from what seemed to be the highest. “Why did he let him drive in that moment?” “What if he left a second early or a second later? Would he still be here?” She wondered with each passing day as her mourning grew stronger with a continuous disbelief that she would never be able to see her precious blue eyes, for they were forever closed in a chasm underground. The cheerful little girl was gone. She had been through the worst pain since her abandonment of her family. She felt abandoned by god. He took all she had left. All she had to live for. What would he think if she just took her life days after he took her love’s unfairly? Would he still welcome her or would she go into the flaming doors of hell? Was her destiny to help the people he left behind go through their mourning? “What am I living for?” She wondered constantly, wishing she had an answer. Wishing she knew what to do next. In the moment, she was lost in a void of darkness unable to escape or live. Unable to get past her mourning. Each night she had nightmares laid specially by the highest to show that he was truly gone exaggerating his final breath more and more with each passing night. WHy couldn’t she escape? Simply because she didn’t let herself escape. SHe was lost in the thought of the highest doing it on purpose to hurt her. Those nightmares? It was made by her thinking, wishing she knew what it was like in his final moments. Why couldn’t she just let go and forget him? Their love was powerful, an unbreakable bond. Something that was meant to be forever. They were soulmates but a drunk, wasted, person destroyed many lives and killed one. He pleaded he was sorry, begging for a release. But no. He was sentenced for 3 years in jail. That’s nothing to the loved ones of the deceased however. But what is there to do? He was free and with the possibility of killing more. No one can stop him just like no one can stop pain in each person. Once someone goes through their last straw, their done for. Just like her.


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