Demented by God (J7)

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic
I irrationally thought I was possessed by the devil.

Submitted: March 21, 2010

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Submitted: March 21, 2010



September 29th 2007
I am possessed by the devil and it feels good. I've never done a drug in my entire life. I need help. Mental Help! I just tore the pages of the bible. I can't believe things can get this bad. I thought I was normal. Well guess what, I don't give a shit what anyone thinks, no ones normal. It’s not like they say on television where I can make things levitate but I could do much SCARIER things, a lot scarier, I won't though. I can't help but wonder why I'm crazy, it’s no ones fault but my own. I'm weak but I'm strong. The devil is strong in me but Jesus is there to. I can go to the mirror and move my eyes and still see the whites of my eyeballs in the mirror, power I've never had before. What’s wrong with me?
I couldn't even begin to describe to you what pissed me off this particular night. I will never remember because I guess it was just a bad day. I can guarantee this had something to do with being a fag and how I was struggling with the religious struggle again. I mean come on, who says they are possessed by the devil.
It would only make sense to me I was feeling sexually demented and academically worn. As if to run away from my gay issues I would dive into my homework as a way to avoid my problems with being homo. This is the end result of trying to hide away from it.

I hope I start coming to some conclusions to my sexuality soon but with all things, it must get much worse before it gets better. My writing becomes much more complex when dealing with homosexuality because again I'm hiding from myself at this point. Wish me luck on interpretation from this point on.

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